That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Mimic
Prologue. Closing Time
Seoul. A rainy night, and closing time at a small bank branch in Mapo.
Baek Jae-hyun has counted other people's money here for five years. Tonight his coin tray is short by one coin, and he isn't going home until he finds it.
He doesn't hear the sirens until the front window comes in.
Then there's nothing at all.
Then, in the dark, one small blue window. Summoning... Error. No body found. Placing in nearest container.
Chapter 1. Bottoms Up
Bottoms Up — Chapter 1
Dark. Then the creak of old wood, and the smell of lamp oil.
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, okay, I'm awake. Why can't I move my arms? Why can't I blink?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
A lamp swings from a low wooden ceiling. Under it is a desk covered in maps, ledgers and half an apple.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Last thing I remember, I'm counting the coin tray at the branch. Then the front window comes in, and a truck, and a lot of coins.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Boots cross the floor. A woman sits down at the desk, pulls the cork out of a bottle with her teeth, and pours.
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait. Why is it wet? Why am I wet on the inside?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The woman fills a wooden cup to the brim with dark rum. She lifts it without looking up from her ledger.
Rin: Bottoms up.
Baek Jae-hyun: Is that a mouth? That's a mouth. There's a mouth on me and it's drinking.
She drinks half of it, sets it down, and wipes her lip with a tattooed thumb.
Rin: Four hundred and twelve. Plus interest. Plus interest on the interest.
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh no. I'm the cup. I'm a CUP.
Baek Jae-hyun: I went to college. I passed the bank exam on the first try. And I'm a cup.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
A thin blue window blinks open in the air over the cup. The woman doesn't look up.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: WELCOME! Your new life has begun. Please enjoy it.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Hello? Is there a manager? Can I talk to somebody who isn't a floating box?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: STATUS! Name, Baek Jae-hyun. Species, Mimic.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Mimic. Like the treasure chest in games that eats you? That kind of mimic?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: UPDATE! Species, Mimic (Error).
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't put "error" after it. You can't just put "error" after it!
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: Level 1. Gold 0 of 1. Forms, Wooden Cup.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: status-first]
Baek Jae-hyun: Gold zero of one. What does that even mean? Where am I?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: LOCATION! A cabin.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Which cabin? Which country? Which planet, man?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: LOCATION! A cabin.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Seriously. I used to be on the other side of this conversation. I'm so sorry, every customer I ever had.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The door bangs open. A dwarf ducks in, as wide as the doorway, with monster bones braided into his black beard and an axe on his back.
[Picture: Tengar Dirgefeast neutral]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Captain. The Syndicate chest's tied down in the hold, and I counted it twice. Two hundred on the nose.
Rin: Count it again in the morning. How many days to Gravetide?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Nine if the weather's nice. Twelve if it isn't. It's never nice.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Syndicate, Gravetide, two hundred. I don't know any of these words, but I know that voice. That's somebody who owes money.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The woman taps her ledger with her pen. Every line on the page is a number, and most of them are red.
Rin: The Syndicate lent me the money for this ship. Every run I haul their gold, and every run they take a bite out of what I owe.
Rin: And they count every coin. One missing at Gravetide, they add it to my bill with interest. Ten missing, they take the ship.
Tengar Dirgefeast: Then nobody touches the chest. I'll sleep on it. I'll sleep on it with the axe.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: You'd sleep on it anyway. You like the smell.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Gold's got a nice smell. That's not a crime.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: She's got a Syndicate, I had a branch manager. Honestly, same energy.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar reaches for the bottle. Rin moves it without looking.
Tengar Dirgefeast: You're drinking out of Prue's cup again.
Rin: It's the right size.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: She's gonna kill you. Then she's gonna kill me for knowing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Right on cue, a small round halfling in a headscarf and a stained apron marches in, still holding a ladle.
[Picture: Prue Tamworth angry]
Prue Tamworth: Is that my measuring cup? You're drinking rum out of my measuring cup?
Rin: I'm measuring rum.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: That cup's been with me through three shipwrecks, Captain. It measures rice and it measures broth. It has never once measured rum!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, I like her. Take me with you, ma'am. I'll measure anything you want.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: You'll get it back in the morning. Clean. Mostly.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: I count my kitchen at breakfast. If that cup's not on my counter, you're eating hardtack till Gravetide.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Good night, sweetheart. Don't let her put anything worse in you.
She pats the cup on the rim and stomps out. Tengar follows her, still grumbling about how nice gold smells.
Baek Jae-hyun: She said good night to me. That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me in about three years.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Now Rin is alone. She takes a gold coin out of her pocket, flips it, catches it, and flips it again.
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Rin: Heads, I pay. Tails, I pay. Great coin, great odds.
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh. Oh, what is that? Why does that coin look so good?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: lucky-coin]
The coin bounces off her knuckle, spins across the desk, and drops into the cup with a small wet plop.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: GOLD DETECTED! Eat?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Eat it? No, it's her coin. I worked at a bank for five years, I don't take people's money.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, but it's right there. And I don't have a stomach, and I'm starving. ...Just one bite.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The cup glows blue from the inside, just for a second. When Rin looks down, the coin is gone.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 2. You earned 3 Shop Points.
Rin tips the cup over, and rum runs across her maps. She looks under the cup, then inside it, then under it again.
Rin: Where'd you go?
Baek Jae-hyun: Act natural, I'm a cup. Cups don't eat coins. Cups have never even met a coin.
Rin turns, slowly, and glares at the door Tengar just walked out of.
Rin: Tengar.
The System: STARTER GIFT! You reached Level 2 and unlocked your Starter Gift.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: Beginner's Luck. When your life is on the line, increase your luck by 100%. One time use.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: starter-gift]
Baek Jae-hyun: Great, a lucky cup. Just what I needed. Somebody's gonna win the lottery drinking out of me.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: SHOP OPEN! You have 3 Shop Points. The tabs are Bite, Shell, Size, Forms, Senses and Special.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: shop-first]
The System: BITE AND SHELL! Bite I costs 2 points, for more teeth, and Shell I costs 2 points, for a tougher body.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: I have teeth? No, don't tell me where. Next tab.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: SIZE! You are Tabletop, as small as a coin and as big as a small chest. Size I, Barrel, costs 5 points.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: SENSES AND SPECIAL! Gold Sense costs 3 points and Appraise costs 2. Mimic Voice costs 5.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: FORMS! Tiny Legs costs 1 point and Voice costs 2. Construct Form costs 15.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait, Construct Form? Is that a body? I can buy a whole body?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: CONSTRUCT FORM! One human-sized construct body for 15 points. You have 3.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Thanks. I can count. Counting is the one thing I'm good at.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Voice is 2, so I could talk. But who am I gonna talk to? The lady who drinks rum out of me?
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: First rule at the bank. Never spend your whole balance. Tiny Legs, please.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: PURCHASED! Tiny Legs. You have 2 Shop Points left.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Past midnight, Rin is asleep in her bunk with one boot still on. The other boot lies on the floor under the bunk.
Six little wooden legs pop out of the bottom of the cup. They wobble, and then they hold.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Baek Jae-hyun: I'm walking! Look at me, Mom! No, don't look at me, Mom.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
The cup trots across the desk, around the inkwell, over a map of the coast, and straight off the edge.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Baek Jae-hyun: No no no no no...
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
It hits the floor, bounces twice, and rolls under the bunk, right into Rin's other boot.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Rin: ...Tengar?
Baek Jae-hyun: Just a cup, cups roll. Totally normal cup stuff. Go back to sleep, ma'am.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin rolls over and starts to snore. The cup lies on its side against her boot, six legs in the air.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Then he feels it. Something far below the deck pulls at him the same way the coin did, only much bigger.
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh, that's gold. I don't know how I know, but that's a lot of gold. Two hundred on the nose, huh?
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Chapter 2. Galley Rules
Galley Rules — Chapter 2
Two in the morning. A wooden cup on six little legs climbs over the galley doorstep, one leg at a time.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Baek Jae-hyun: Forty minutes for one hallway. I used to walk to the subway faster than this, and I was carrying a laptop.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
Baek Jae-hyun: She said if I'm not on her counter by breakfast, the captain eats hardtack. I don't know what hardtack is, but it sounds like a punishment.
[Picture: Cup With Legs]
The cup tries to climb the counter, slips, and falls into an open drawer full of spoons.
The System: NEW FORM! Spoon. You can turn into any object you have touched.
[Picture: Spoon]
The System: Your size limit is Tabletop. Every change takes 5 seconds.
[Picture: Spoon]
The cup glows blue, shrinks and stretches. Five seconds later, a wooden spoon with a line of tiny teeth lies in the drawer.
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: I'm a spoon. Somehow this is worse than the cup.
[Picture: Spoon]
The System: FORMS! Wooden Cup, Spoon, Cutlery Drawer and Boot.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: Boot? Oh, under the bunk. I spent an hour spooning the captain's boot.
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait, somebody's coming. Boot, boot, boot! Five seconds is way too long!
[Picture: Boot]
Tengar ducks in with a lamp. On the floor in front of the drawer sits one old leather boot, still wobbling a little.
[Picture: Boot]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Huh, whose boot is this? Smells like rum, so the captain's been at it again.
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't. Don't do what I think you're gonna do.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Boot]
Tengar sits on a stool and shoves his huge dwarf foot into the boot.
[Picture: Boot]
Baek Jae-hyun: Sir! Sir, that's my face!
[Picture: Boot]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Too small. Nothing's ever my size on this ship.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: And who's been at my biscuits? Stupid rats.
Baek Jae-hyun: I've been stepped in by a dwarf. That's a new low. I didn't know there were new lows left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Boot]
At dawn, Prue finds her cup on the counter, right where it belongs. It took him an hour and a ladle.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue Tamworth: There you are, sweetheart! Did she get you drunk? Look at you, you're all sticky.
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh, warm water. Is this a spa? Is this what a spa feels like?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue Tamworth: Morning, pots. Morning, kettle. Don't you look at me like that, ladle, you know what you did.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: And somebody keeps pinching my spoons. I had eleven, and now I've got seven. Who steals spoons on a boat?
Baek Jae-hyun: Not me. I was only a spoon. Different thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue Tamworth: You and me have been through three shipwrecks, cup. The first one went down off the Chantry Rocks, and I floated two days on a barrel of pickles.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Second one was a fire. Third one, the captain ran us onto a sandbar showing off for a lady on the dock.
Prue Tamworth: And every time, the only things I saved were my recipe book and you.
Baek Jae-hyun: Ma'am, you can't say stuff like that to a cup. I'm very emotional right now.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue Tamworth: Tonight it's fish soup, with ginger and the last of the good onions. Smells like home, even when you haven't got one.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Baek Jae-hyun: My mom's kitchen in Daegu smelled like that. Garlic, and something boiling over.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Baek Jae-hyun: I want to tell her it sounds great. Voice costs 2 points, and that's everything I have.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: First rule at the bank, never spend your whole balance. Second rule, I don't work at the bank anymore.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The System: PURCHASED! Voice, so you can talk out loud as an object whenever you want. You have 0 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue Tamworth: ...and a pinch of pepper right at the end. That's the secret. Nobody ever waits for the pepper.
Baek Jae-hyun: Thanks, that sounds amazing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Prue freezes with the ladle in the air. She looks at the cup, then at the bottle of cooking sherry on the shelf.
[Picture: cooking-sherry]
Prue Tamworth: How much of you went in the gravy last night?
[Picture: cooking-sherry]
She pours the whole bottle of sherry out the porthole and drops it in the bin.
[Picture: cooking-sherry]
Prue Tamworth: That's enough of that. Hearing cups, at my age.
[Picture: cooking-sherry]
Baek Jae-hyun: Note to self. Voice is on. Think quietly.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
That night, the cup goes down the ladder to the hold as a spoon, end over end. It's faster than walking, and much louder.
[Picture: Spoon]
In the middle of the hold sits a heavy iron-banded chest with a red wax seal. Tengar is asleep on top of it, hugging his axe.
[Picture: syndicate-chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: He actually did it. He slept on it with the axe. Respect.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: There's a gap in the bottom corner, and I can see a coin. No, that's somebody's gold, and it isn't mine.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: ...I'll just have two.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
A long purple tongue slips into the gap and comes back with a coin. Then it goes back for another one.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 4. You earned 6 Shop Points.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: level-4]
Baek Jae-hyun: Great. I'm a cup, and I'm a thief. My mom would be so proud.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Behind a sack of flour, a small skinny imp with huge ears climbs out, dragging an old boot that clinks with every step.
[Picture: greed imp-side]
GREED IMP. Harmless. Two feet of grabby hands and pockets. Steals anything shiny, including from its own boss.
[Picture: stamp-harmless]
Baek Jae-hyun: That boot's got four coins in it. Five years at a counter, man, I can count coins by the jingle.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
[Picture: stuffed-boot]
The imp sees the cup and grins. The cup grabs the boot's laces in its teeth, the imp grabs the heel, and they pull.
[Picture: greed imp-front]
Baek Jae-hyun: Drop it.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
He says it out loud. The imp freezes and points at the cup with one long shaking finger.
[Picture: greed imp-front]
Baek Jae-hyun: What? I'm a cup, cups talk, everybody knows that. Now hand over the boot.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
The imp shrieks, yanks the boot free, and runs all the way up to the galley. It dives into the cutlery drawer and pulls it shut from the inside.
Baek Jae-hyun: It sleeps in the drawer. You're the spoon thief!
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: You fit through a crack, buddy? So do I.
[Picture: Spoon]
A spoon slides in through the crack. Inside, the imp is curled up on a nest of stolen spoons, hugging its boot.
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait. If I can be a spoon in a drawer, what happens if I'm a drawer in a drawer?
[Picture: Spoon]
The System: WARNING! You are inside a Cutlery Drawer. If you change into one now, you take it over.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: Take it over? Like, I become the actual drawer?
[Picture: Spoon]
The System: Yes.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Spoon]
Baek Jae-hyun: Cool. Do it.
[Picture: Spoon]
The whole drawer glows blue. Jagged teeth push out along its front edge, and a long purple tongue curls out over the spoons.
Baek Jae-hyun: That's MY gold. Well, it's the captain's gold. It's complicated, but it's not yours!
The drawer snaps shut on the imp. The purple tongue curls into the boot and pulls out four gold coins, one after another.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 8. You earned 12 Shop Points.
Baek Jae-hyun: Level 8! Twelve points! I'm a rich drawer.
[Picture: Cutlery Drawer]
Baek Jae-hyun: Bite I, please. If I'm gonna fight imps over boots every night, I want the good teeth.
[Picture: Cutlery Drawer]
The System: PURCHASED! Bite I. You have 16 Shop Points left.
[Picture: Cutlery Drawer]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: bite-1]
Baek Jae-hyun: Sixteen in the bank. That's a respectable balance.
[Picture: Cutlery Drawer]
Jae-hyun climbs out the back of the drawer as a cup. The drawer stays jammed shut on the imp's big ears.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Sorry, buddy. You can explain it to the dwarf.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
In the morning, Tengar comes down the hall at a run, with Rin right behind him.
[Picture: Tengar Dirgefeast angry]
[Picture: Rin angry]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Captain, I counted the chest at sunup. One ninety-four! I slept on it, and six are gone!
Rin: I told you to count it, not nap on it. If it's short at Gravetide, it's my neck.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Captain, there's something in my cutlery drawer. And it's kicking.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar yanks the drawer open. The imp pops out by its ears, hugging an empty boot, with spoons in every pocket.
[Picture: greed imp-front]
Prue Tamworth: My spoons!
Tengar Dirgefeast: There's our thief. Where's the gold, you little rat?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Nothing in here but spoons. It ate it. The little thing ate six gold.
Baek Jae-hyun: Technically it ate zero, and I ate six. I'm not gonna say that out loud.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Up on deck, Tengar carries the imp to the rail by one ear. Prue follows with her cup in her hand.
Tengar Dirgefeast: Six gold! You know what the captain does to people who steal six gold on her ship?
He throws it. The imp sails out over the waves, flapping its little wings and shrieking, still holding its empty boot.
Tengar Dirgefeast: And stay off!
Baek Jae-hyun: It stole four. I stole two, and then I ate all six. So I'm the bigger thief, and he's the one who got thrown off a boat.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Rin: We hit the Chantry Rocks tomorrow night. The Syndicate sends a boat out there to count the chest before Gravetide.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Tengar, count it again, every coin. And if you see another boot, burn it.
Prue Tamworth: Chantry Rocks. That's where I lost my first ship. I don't like it out there.
[Picture: previous speaker]
By evening, a thick gray fog comes in over the water and sits on the deck.
Baek Jae-hyun: When they count it, it's gonna be six short, and it's all my fault. I've got to fix this.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Chapter 3. Man Overboard
Man Overboard — Chapter 3
Night at the Chantry Rocks. The fog is so thick the lanterns barely reach the rail, and the rocks hum a low note when the air moves through them.
Tengar Dirgefeast: I hate this place. The rocks are singing again.
Prue Tamworth: They always sing. They sang the night my first ship went down, too.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The iron-banded chest sits in the middle of the deck. Rin stands next to it with her arms crossed, watching the fog.
[Picture: syndicate-chest]
Rin: Everybody be polite. Nobody makes jokes. Tengar, that means you.
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, here's the plan. I'm a coin in the chest now. The chest is six short, and with me in it, it's only five short.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: That's a seventeen percent improvement. My old branch manager would put that on a poster.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Rin: How short are we, Tengar?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Six, Captain. Same as this morning. I counted it nine times.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Then pray it can't count.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A black boat with one red lantern slides out of the fog. A tall gaunt demon in a long coat climbs over the rail with a ledger under one arm.
[Picture: debt collector-side]
DEBT COLLECTOR. Dangerous. Arrives with the paperwork. Gives one chance to settle. What happens next is also in the paperwork.
[Picture: stamp-dangerous]
Rin: Evening. You're early.
The collector opens its ledger. In a flat, polite voice, it asks for an early count and says any missing coin goes on the captain's bill with interest.
[Picture: debt collector-front]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Does it ever blink?
Rin: Shut up, Tengar.
[Picture: previous speaker]
It breaks the red wax seal and starts to count. Its long gray fingers move so fast the coins blur.
[Picture: syndicate-chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh, it's good. That's a four-coin sweep, I respect it.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The collector stops and holds one coin up to the lantern. The coin is warm, and it's glowing a little blue.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't bite me. Don't bite me! In every movie, they bite the coin.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The coin wriggles out of its fingers and drops back into the chest. The collector reaches in after it, all the way to the elbow.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, new plan, new plan! Chest! Be the chest!
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: WARNING! You are inside a Treasure Chest. If you change into one now, you take it over.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: I KNOW! DO IT!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The iron-banded chest glows blue. Jagged teeth push out all along the lid, and it slams down on the collector's arm.
Baek Jae-hyun: Hands off! Please wait for the next available teller!
It comes out of the chest as a growl, not words. The collector yanks its arm free, grabs its ledger, and goes back over the rail much faster than it came.
Tengar Dirgefeast: Captain. The chest has teeth.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Rin: I can see that it has teeth, Tengar.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Oh, it's got a little tongue too. Look at it.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't move. Chests don't move. These are decorative teeth.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: That's my gold in there.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: That's a CURSED chest!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: It's a cursed chest with my gold in it. And the Syndicate's gonna hear that it bit their collector on my ship.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The storm hits all at once. Rain comes in sideways, and waves break over the rail.
[Picture: fx-rain]
[Picture: fx-lightning]
Tengar hauls the snapping chest up onto his shoulder while the deck tips under his boots.
Rin: Tengar, don't you dare! That's two hundred gold!
Tengar Dirgefeast: One ninety-four! And it's cursed!
He heaves it over the rail into the black water.
Baek Jae-hyun: Why does everything on this ship end up in the ocean?
The chest sinks. When Jae-hyun screams, the lid flies open, and the gold pours out into the dark water.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
Baek Jae-hyun: No, no, the gold! Come back! That's not mine!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
He snaps at the coins as they drift past and catches two. The rest sink away into the dark.
[Picture: fx-rain]
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 10. You earned 6 Shop Points.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
The System: LEVEL 10 BONUS! You earned 5 more Shop Points. You have 27 Shop Points.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
[Picture: level-10]
Baek Jae-hyun: Great timing. Really. I'm drowning, and you're throwing me a party.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait, am I drowning? I don't breathe, I'm a box. I'm fine, I'm just a sad wet box.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
The chest lands on the sandy bottom. Six tiny legs pop out, and it starts walking uphill.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: fx-rain]
At dawn, a wooden chest walks out of the surf on six tiny legs and falls over on the sand. The beach is covered in the ribs of old broken ships.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Land! I walked across the bottom of the sea. Put that on my job application.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Crabs the size of dinner plates climb out of the wrecks. Their shells are covered in old coins they've glued on, and they're all looking at the chest.
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
COIN CRAB. Harmless. Glues old coins to its shell. Will fight you over a copper. Will fight you harder over gold.
[Picture: stamp-harmless]
Baek Jae-hyun: Hi. Hello, little guys. Why are you looking at me like I'm a buffet?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The crabs swarm the chest. They jam their claws under the lid and start to pry.
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
[Picture: coin crab-front]
Baek Jae-hyun: There's nothing in there! It's empty! I checked!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait, is that gold on your back? No. No, Jae-hyun, we don't eat people's houses.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, that's it. This chest is property of the crab police. Everybody go home.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The lid opens wide, and a line of jagged teeth snaps shut an inch from the biggest crab. Crabs run in every direction.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay. I'm a box on a beach, and nobody's coming to pick me up. I need a plan that isn't "be a box."
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Construct Form is 15, and I've got 27. That still leaves a balance. Buy it.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: PURCHASED! Construct Form. You have 12 Shop Points left.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: construct-form]
The System: CREATE YOUR BODY! Materials nearby are wreck boards, brass fittings, one porthole, some rope and an old sail.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh, it's a character screen. I'm good at these. I once spent three hours on a haircut in a game.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: HEAD! Choose a shape. Round, round or round.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wow. So many options. Round.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: HAIR! Locked. Requires Level 50.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Hair is LOCKED?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: EYES! Use the slider to choose how many.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Two. Two is the normal number. Why is the slider so... no, no, it slipped!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: EYES! 1. Style, visor.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: One eye? Undo! Where's undo?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: NOTICE! There is no undo.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: ARMS! Left arm, brass. Right arm, random.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Random? No, don't... Why don't they match? Why would you do that?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: MOUTH! Your mouth goes inside the chest. A porthole hatch is recommended.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: My mouth's in my stomach? You know what, fine. Nobody has to see it.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: EXTRAS! Rope belt and sail scarf.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Oh, the scarf's nice. Keep the scarf.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: NAME THIS BODY!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Baek Jae-hyun.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: NAME TOO LONG! Suggested name, Jae.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: It's three syllables! ...Fine. Jae.
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: CONFIRM?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Wait, can I see a preview first?
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The System: CONFIRMED!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: create-body]
Baek Jae-hyun: I didn't press anything!
[Picture: Treasure Chest]
The chest unfolds on the sand. Wreck boards, brass fittings and rope fly in from the beach and lock together around it.
A porthole snaps into the middle of the chest, a round brass head bolts on top, and a strip of faded blue sail wraps around the neck.
Jae: Oh. I have legs, big legs. Regular legs!
The construct stands up, takes one step, and falls flat on its face in the sand. Then it gets up again.
Jae: Okay! I'm standing, I'm a person. I'm a robot-shaped person!
Far down the coast, gray factory smoke rises into the morning. Something big clanks, over and over.
Jae: Okay. Robot. I can do robot.
Back on the Lucky Penny, Rin sits at her desk, soaked through, with her ledger open in front of her.
Rin: One chest. Teeth.
Rin: Wherever you washed up, I'm gonna find you.
Chapter 4. Serial Number
Serial Number — Chapter 4
Alloyport. Cranes swing crates off the ships, steam blows out of every pipe, and everything clanks.
A construct made of wreck boards and brass walks up the beach road onto the docks, still dripping a little.
Wilhelm Crankshaft: YOU! Brass! Get back on the line, I don't pay you to stand around!
Jae: You don't pay me at all.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Exactly! So move!
[Picture: previous speaker]
A line of squat metal golems carries crates from a ship to a warehouse. Each one has a glowing crystal in its chest and a serial plate on its shoulder.
LABOUR GOLEM. Minor. Solara's workhorse. Serial number on the shoulder, audit record on file. Every accident gets inspected.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
Jae: Hey, long shift? ...Cool. Great talk, man.
Jae picks up a crate and joins the line. It's his first job in this world, and nobody has told him what it is.
A thin inspector with a clipboard starts down the line. He checks each golem's plate and writes the number down.
[Picture: labour golem-side]
[Picture: labour golem-side]
[Picture: labour golem-side]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Inspection! Plates out, every one of you!
Jae: Plates. I don't have a plate. Why would I have a plate?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae ducks behind a stack of crates. Five seconds later, there's one more crate in the stack.
[Picture: Crate]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay, good. I'm a crate, and crates don't need plates.
[Picture: Crate]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Forty golems on the list and thirty-nine on the line. Where's the brass one?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wilhelm walks around the stack, counting on his fingers. Then he sits down on the new crate to fill out his forms.
[Picture: Crate]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't sit on me. Please don't sit... oh, he's sitting on me.
[Picture: Crate]
The crate creaks, and Wilhelm frowns and gets up to go shout at somebody else. A few seconds later, the brass construct steps out from behind the stack.
Wilhelm Crankshaft: There you are! Where were you?
Jae: Greetings. I was on break.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: On break? Golems don't take breaks!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Construct break. It's in the union rules.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Golems don't have a union!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Not yet.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Behind him, the whole line of golems stops working for a second.
[Picture: labour golem-front]
[Picture: labour golem-front]
[Picture: labour golem-front]
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Plate! Now! Or you go on the scrap line, and they melt you down for rivets!
Jae: My plate is on the inside. Very deep inside.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The inspector opens a toolbox and takes out a long iron pry bar. Then a small green goblin in huge goggles comes running down the dock, with three tiny clockwork machines clattering after him.
[Picture: Nib Fettle happy]
Nib Fettle: Oh! He's mine! Sorry, he wanders!
Wilhelm Crankshaft: Yours? He's got no plate, goblin.
Nib Fettle: He's a prototype! Very new! The plate's in the mail!
Nib grabs Jae by the scarf and pulls. Jae is twice his height and goes anyway.
Jae: Greetings. Goodbye.
The rail ride to Gearhaven takes an hour, and Nib talks for all of it. Gearhaven has chimneys on every roof, pipes on every wall, and something always clanking.
Nib Fettle: Nib Fettle, tinkerer! I was buying salvage on the dock, and I saw a construct talk back to Wilhelm Crankshaft. Nobody talks back to Wilhelm.
Jae: Thanks, Nib. Seriously. You didn't have to do that.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Course I did! Oh, and this is Harold, this is Mabel, and that's Gerald. Gerald's shy.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Three little clockwork machines line up at Jae's feet. Two of them wave, and the third one hides behind Nib's boot.
Jae: Hi, Harold. Hi, Mabel. It's okay, Gerald, I'm shy too.
Nib's workshop is one room over a bakery. Half-built machines cover every table, and there's a cot under the window.
Nib Fettle: Now, can I have a quick look inside you? Just a peek. I'll put everything back, mostly.
Jae: Warranty void if opened.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: What's a warranty?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: It means no.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mabel climbs up Jae's leg and taps on his porthole hatch. The hatch opens a crack, and a purple tongue flicks her onto the cot.
Nib Fettle: Did your chest just lick Mabel?
Jae: Lint catcher. Very standard.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Huh. I want one.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Okay, what do I call you? Everybody's got a name. Even Gerald.
Jae: Baek Jae... Jae. Just Jae.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Jae! Good name. Short, easy to stamp.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Hey, Nib, weird question. Do you have any gold?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Gold? Me? I've got one silver and a lot of opinions.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib flips him the coin. Jae drops it into his hatch, waits a second, and spits it back out onto the table.
Jae: Tastes like a spoon.
Nib Fettle: How do you know what a spoon tastes like?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Everybody knows what a spoon tastes like.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Okay, serious now. Every construct in Solara has a registry serial. Without one, any inspector can put you on the scrap line.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: The records office wants owners and papers. But Osric! Osric ran records for the whole city, and he still has all the stamps.
Zenith City. The transit hub is a huge hall of glass and iron, with rail lines coming in from every side and a giant clock ticking over everything.
Jae: Whoa. It's like Seoul Station, if Seoul Station was run by robots.
Nib Fettle: Biggest city in Solara! Stay near me. Last time I brought a construct here, it followed a pigeon into the river.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The Heroes Memorial is a quiet stone hall with long walls of carved names. By the door sits a tall, thin construct of pale gold metal, with a long maroon scarf and two small dark eyes.
[Picture: Osric neutral]
Osric: Good afternoon. Visiting, or filing?
Nib Fettle: Filing! Osric, hi, it's Nib Fettle. You fixed my permit that time with the kettle.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Osric: The kettle that exploded. I remember it. So does the ceiling.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: This is Jae. He thinks for himself, like you! He's got no plate, and Wilhelm was gonna scrap him.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Osric: A free-thinking construct. There aren't many of us. May I listen?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gerald rolls off toward the far wall, and Nib runs after him. Osric leans in and rests the side of his head against Jae's hatch for a long time.
Osric: You don't hum.
Jae: Sorry?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Osric: Every construct hums, the core or the gears or something. Even those clockwork toys hum. You're silent.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm... a quiet model.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A long pause. Osric blinks once, very slowly.
Osric: I've filed stranger.
Jae: ...Thank you.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Osric: Serials start with a letter. J, for Jae, I think. And what number would you like after it?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae doesn't think about it. The numbers come out on their own.
Jae: One zero zero four. Two two nine one.
[Picture: serial-plate]
It was his bank account number. He wrote it on forms for ten years, and every month most of what went in it went to his mom in Daegu.
[Picture: serial-plate]
Osric sets a small brass plate in his press and pulls the lever three times. Then he rivets the plate to Jae's left wrist with two neat taps.
Osric: J-1004-2291. Jae, free-thinking construct. Owner, none.
Nib Fettle: He's registered! He's a real registered construct! Jae, you're legal!
Jae: I'm legal. I'm a legal person. Sort of.
That evening, back in Gearhaven, Nib stops in front of a big stone hall with a sword and shield over the door.
Nib Fettle: So you've got a plate. Now you need a job, 'cause I can't feed you. I don't even know what you eat.
Jae: Gold.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: You want gold? That's where the gold is. The Adventurer's Guild.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Like in games? With quests and ranks and a lady at a counter?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: It's a halfling at a counter. His name's Wick, he's very nice. He remembers everybody's tea.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: NOTICE! Level 10. Gold 0 of 2.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: gold-0-of-2]
Jae: Two? Since when is it two?
The System: Since Level 10.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I died, and there's still inflation. Seriously.
Chapter 5. Rock Grubs
Rock Grubs — Chapter 5
The Gearhaven Guild hall is hot, loud and full of people shouting across long tables. Jae stands at the clerk's counter with his arms at his sides, trying very hard to look like equipment.
Wick Fernsby: And that's the last form. Serial J-1004-2291, free-thinking construct. Welcome to the Guild, Mr. Jae.
[Picture: serial-plate]
Jae: That's it? No second signature? No copy for my files?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: serial-plate]
Wick Fernsby: Nobody ever asks for a copy. Oh, I like you already.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wick pins a small iron tag to Jae's blue scarf. It has a plain letter F stamped into it.
[Picture: rank-f]
Wick Fernsby: F-Rank is deliveries, vermin and guarding storehouses. A gold or two a job. Everybody starts there.
[Picture: rank-f]
Jae: Real gold? Every time?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wick Fernsby: You sound very excited about gold for a construct.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Greetings. I'm normal about gold.
[Picture: previous speaker]
F-Ranks go out in pairs. When Wick looks around for a partner, every head in the hall turns away.
At the far end, a young woman in a dark hooded cloak and headscarf keeps eating her sandwich.
[Picture: Gwen smug]
Gwen: Let me guess. Nobody wants the new guy, nobody wants me, so now we're a team.
Gwen: Wick, he's a toaster with a scarf.
Jae: Greetings. I'm not a toaster.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's exactly what a toaster would say.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: A toaster wouldn't say anything. That's kind of the main thing about toasters.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Oh, it's got jokes. Fine. I'm Gwen, and before you hear it from anyone else, my last team fell down a well and the one before that got kicked by a goat.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I was standing right there both times and nothing happened to me. I'm great luck, just not for anybody else.
Wick Fernsby: Coldvein Adit, up the mountain road. Rock Grubs are chewing the timbers in the old flooded mine. Two gold each to clear them out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: We'll take it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
It's two hours up the mountain road, and Gwen talks for most of it. By the time they reach the old mine, with its rusty carts sitting in green water, she's still going.
Gwen: You're new, so I get to do the speech. This world's called Kavrix. Every ten years the kingdoms hold a Summoning Ritual and pull heroes in from other worlds.
Gwen: Between rituals, people fall through by accident. That's a wild summon. That's me, from a place called Earth, which you've never heard of.
Gwen: Some summoned even get the System, little windows that tell you your level. In every isekai story ever, the hero gets one on day one. I got nothing.
The System: NOTICE! You are Level 10.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Not now.
Gwen: What?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Nothing. Firmware.
[Picture: previous speaker]
In isekai stories, Gwen explains, some guy dies and wakes up in a fantasy world as a slime, a sword or a vending machine. Jae finished the vending machine one twice on the subway home from the bank, and he says nothing.
Gwen: Now the creepy part. Sometimes Kavrix grabs somebody and there's no body to put them in. So they end up in whatever's nearby, like a tree, or a dog, or a chair.
Jae: A chair.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's a Failed Summon. Part person, part something else. The law in Aertos says you have to report them, and most people think they're monsters.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: What happens when they get reported?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: They get put somewhere. Nobody ever says where. That's the part that gets me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae doesn't say anything for a long time. The blue light in his visor goes a little dim.
Gwen: Anyway, my theory about you. In every isekai I've ever seen, the robot sidekick is secretly something way cooler. You're a cursed prince.
Jae: I'm not a prince.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's exactly what a cursed prince would say.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She hands him the lantern while she ties her ponytail, and he leans on a rusty mine cart at the mine mouth.
The System: WARNING! New forms, lantern and mine cart. The mine cart is too big for you. It needs Size I.
ROCK GRUB. Harmless. An arm-long worm with a hide like stone. Chews mine timber. Falls on your head.
[Picture: stamp-harmless]
Inside the mine, the walls are moving. Grey stone worms as long as an arm are chewing on the wooden beams with little crunching sounds.
[Picture: rock grub-front]
[Picture: rock grub-front]
[Picture: rock grub-front]
Wick said they don't bite. Noise sends them deeper, and they like silver and magic.
One grub turns its blind head toward Jae. Then all of them start crawling toward his feet.
[Picture: rock grub-front]
[Picture: rock grub-front]
[Picture: rock grub-front]
[Picture: rock grub-front]
Gwen: Why are they all going for you?
Jae: Brass. They love brass. Everybody knows that.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Next customer, please! Take a number! This window is closed!
The grubs flinch and squirm back into the dark. Then one drops off the ceiling onto Gwen's head, she swings the lantern at it, and the lantern flies into the water and goes out.
[Picture: rock grub-front]
Gwen: Okay, your face is the only light now. Don't blink. Do you blink?
Jae: Stay here. I'll scout ahead.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae walks around the next corner and turns into a lantern, which takes a full five seconds. Then he walks back to her on tiny legs.
[Picture: Lantern]
Gwen finds a lantern sitting in the tunnel, already lit. The flame is blue.
Gwen: Where did you come from, and why are you blue? You know what, I don't care. Come here.
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't talk. Lanterns don't talk. Just glow like a normal lantern.
Gwen: The robot's kind of funny, right? He says "seriously". Robots don't say "seriously".
Gwen: I think he's lonely. And I kind of like him. Don't tell him that.
Baek Jae-hyun: She likes me. The lantern is having a really good day.
A grub drops onto the path ahead. Gwen sets the lantern down to wave her dagger at it, and the lantern walks off into the dark.
[Picture: Lantern]
Gwen: Jae! I found a blue lantern and put it right here, and now it's gone.
Jae: Mines. They take things.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Did you hear me talking? To the lantern?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Talking to what?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Nothing. Great. Good talk.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A beam groans over their heads, chewed almost through. The ceiling comes down between them in a roar of rock and dust.
[Picture: fx-dust]
Gwen: Jae! The water's coming up! It's at my knees!
The gap in the rocks is too small for a construct, but not for a gold coin. Jae turns into one and rolls through the dark.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Shop! Size I! Whatever it costs, buy it now!
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: PURCHASED! Size I, Barrel. You can become things as big as a barrel, a mine cart or a chair. You have 7 Shop Points left.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: size-1]
A rusty mine cart rolls out of the dark on its own and stops in front of her. The glow in its seams is blue.
Baek Jae-hyun: Gwen! There's a cart! Get in the cart!
Gwen: Jae? Where are you? I can't see you!
She throws herself in. The cart shoots down the old rails while grubs rain off the walls all around them.
Baek Jae-hyun: Lean left! Left! Your other left!
Gwen: I hate this world! I hate this cart! Aaaaah!
The cart bursts out of a side tunnel into daylight and throws Gwen onto the grassy bank.
By the time Gwen spits out the water and rolls over, the robot is standing there.
Gwen: Where's the cart? The one that drove itself and yelled "lean left" in your voice?
Jae: Cargo mode. I fold out into a cart for hauling. It's a feature.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Robots don't say "it's a feature". That's a thing people from Earth say. My old boss said it about a printer that ate my hand.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I have a large voice library. I picked it up from dock workers.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Dock workers say "it's a feature"?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Solaran dock workers are very modern.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She looks at him for a long time. Then she laughs so hard she has to sit back down in the mud.
Back at the counter, Wick pays two gold coins each for a cleared mine. Jae opens the little round hatch on his chest and drops his coins in.
Gwen: Did you just eat your pay?
Jae: Storage.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 11. You earned 3 Shop Points. You have 10 Shop Points.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: My first job, and real pay. And I didn't have to count anybody else's money.
Gwen looks at her own two coins like they aren't enough, then puts them away fast.
Gwen: Rent. Don't ask.
Gwen: Okay, tin man. Nobody fell down a well and nobody got kicked by a goat. Same time tomorrow?
Jae: It's a date. A shift. It's a work shift.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Sure it is.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 6. Sparkridge Scrap
Sparkridge Scrap — Chapter 6
Sparkridge is a town where things blow up on purpose. Its scrap field is where the failed ones go, hills of broken engines and twisted rails that spark on their own.
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Nib Fettle: Look at it! Look at all of it! Every piece of junk out here was somebody's big idea once.
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Gwen: Every piece of junk out here is on fire, Nib.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Nib Fettle: That's how you know it was a good idea.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Gwen and Nib met four days ago. Nib hugged her, and she's been standing a little behind Jae ever since.
Gwen: So you're his owner.
Nib Fettle: Friend! I only said I owned him once, to an inspector, in an emergency. Jae, can I just open your hatch a tiny bit, just to look?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Warranty void if opened.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Oh my god, he says that to you too?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Every single day.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: New theory. You're a legendary hero's soul, sealed inside a suit of armor. That's a whole kind of story.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm not a legendary hero.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: He's very gentle. He says sorry to doors when he bumps them.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Legendary heroes are always humble. That's the twist.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: The job says to clear out the Scrap Automatons before they wander onto the test range. Two gold each.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Clear them out? They're babies! I'm rescuing the interesting ones.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Scrap Automatons build themselves by accident. Junk falls on junk, one wire touches the wrong wire, and a little machine wakes up.
Gwen: Fine. Also, is there any shade in this entire town? I'm melting.
Nib Fettle: There's a watch hut on the test range. It has a roof and a water barrel. It's only blown up once.
[Picture: previous speaker]
SCRAP AUTOMATON. Minor. Built out of junk by nobody. Sparkridge makes them by accident. Nobody knows what they want.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
The scrap hills start to move. Dozens of little machines climb out, built from pots, springs, pipes and door hinges, sparks jumping between their joints.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Gwen: Okay, there's a lot of them. Jae, do something robot-y.
Jae: Greetings. We come in peace. Please don't set us on fire.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The machines stop. Then every one of them kneels down in front of Jae, all at once, with a loud rattle of loose parts.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Nib Fettle: They're kneeling. They're kneeling to you!
Jae: Why are they doing that? Make them stop.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: You're made of scrap, and you put yourself together, and you walk and talk. Jae, to them you're the most successful piece of junk they've ever seen.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The Scrap Automatons lift Jae onto their shoulders and carry him across the field to a throne they've built out of junk.
Jae: Please put me down. I'm not a king. I have a fear of kings.
Nib Fettle: This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm going to cry.
Gwen: They built him a throne. He's been here ten minutes and they built him a throne.
A little machine made from a teapot and forks climbs up the throne. It holds out a bottle cap with two gold teeth in it.
Gwen: Is that... tribute? Are those somebody's teeth?
Nib Fettle: Sparkridge used to have a dentist. There was a big bang.
Jae takes the teeth, very politely. Then he turns his back, opens his chest hatch and drops them in.
[Picture: gold-teeth]
Gwen: You just put a stranger's teeth in your chest.
[Picture: gold-teeth]
Jae: It would be rude to say no to a gift. Storage.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: gold-teeth]
The System: NOTICE! 2 gold teeth. By weight, that's 2 gold.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: gold-teeth]
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 12. You earned 3 Shop Points. You have 13 Shop Points.
Jae: Shop. Forms tab. Something that would've helped in that mine.
The System: SHOP! Quick Change, 4 Shop Points. Change in 1 second instead of 5. Buy?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: quick-change]
Jae thinks about the five longest seconds of his life, turning back from a lantern while Gwen fought a grub three steps away. He buys it.
The System: PURCHASED! Quick Change. You have 9 Shop Points left.
Gwen: Who are you nodding at?
Jae: Nobody. I nod when I think. It keeps the gears loose.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A woman in insulated gloves and work goggles comes up the hill with a slate and a pry bar. She takes one look at the throne and her mouth falls open.
[Picture: Ulara Gearwright surprised]
Ulara Gearwright: Ulara Gearwright, Guild machinist. I posted this job. Is that construct commanding them?
Nib Fettle: He's their king!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Ulara Gearwright: A construct that commands other constructs. I have to see how he's wired. Hold still, this'll only take a second.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Excuse me. I need to recalibrate. Privately.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You don't calibrate! You don't even have buttons!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae runs across the test range and dives into the little wooden watch hut. Ulara is right behind him with the pry bar.
Ulara Gearwright: Construct! I just want a tiny look! I'll put everything back, mostly!
He grabs the hut's door from the inside. One second later, he is the door, hinges and all.
[Picture: Hut Door]
Baek Jae-hyun: Quick Change works. Great. I'm a door.
[Picture: Hut Door]
Ulara yanks on the door. It doesn't budge. She yanks again, mutters about rust and stomps off. A different set of footsteps comes running toward the door.
[Picture: Hut Door]
Gwen: Shade. Water. A roof. I've been dreaming about this hut since the throne.
Gwen grabs the hut's door handle. The door won't open, and a row of little teeth appears along its edge.
Baek Jae-hyun: Sorry! This window is closed! Please come back tomorrow!
Gwen: Aaaah! The door talked!
The door swings open by itself. The robot is standing in the doorway with his hands up, and the door is just a door again.
Jae: Greetings.
Gwen: Jae. Why were you the door?
Jae: I was inspecting the hinges. For the job.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Inspecting the hinges as the hinges? The door said "this window is closed", Jae. In your voice. Like a bank.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Echo.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: An echo of what? There was nobody in there!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Exactly. It's a very bad echo. I'll put it in my report.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I still want that shade. Out. Out, out, out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae steps out, and Gwen shuts the door behind her hard enough to shake the whole hut.
The Scrap Automatons have followed their king to the test range. There are hundreds of them now, all waiting for orders.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Jae: Okay. Everyone listen. Metal goes in that pile, wood goes in this pile, and anything that's on fire goes way over there.
They do it. In an hour the test range is sorted into neat piles, stacked and counted, the way Jae used to stack coins in a bank drawer.
A teapot on fork legs sweeps, and a bucket with a clock face carries bolts. A tiny one made from a door hinge mostly falls over.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Ulara Gearwright: In six years nobody has cleaned this range. They sorted it by weight. They made a pile of spare bolts and labeled it.
Nib Fettle: That's my robot!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Ulara Gearwright: Double pay. Four gold each. And I still want to look inside him one day.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Warranty void if opened.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Ulara pays them, and Jae closes his hand around his four gold coins. He doesn't put them in his hatch.
Nib Fettle: You're not going to store it?
Jae: I'm going to save it. Old habit. Can I keep it in a tin at the workshop?
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: QUEST! 4 gold in hand. Eat it now for 2 levels?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: quest-save-gold]
Jae: Nope. I'm saving up for three levels in one go. I want the big fanfare.
When they walk back to the rail station, three little Scrap Automatons are following Jae in a line. The rest wave goodbye from the scrap hills.
[Picture: scrap automaton-side]
[Picture: scrap automaton-side]
[Picture: scrap automaton-side]
Nib Fettle: They picked you! That's Doris the teapot, Kevin the bucket, and the little one's Pete.
Gwen: You named them Doris and Kevin?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Look at them. That's a Doris and a Kevin.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I didn't ask for a parade.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Too late. All hail the Door King.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Please don't.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: The Door King! I'm making him a sign!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 7. The Escort
The Escort — Chapter 7
Six covered wagons wait at the edge of the Razor-Gait, with grass up to the wheel hubs as far as anyone can see. A tall hobgoblin in worn plate armor and a dark red cloak walks down the line and knows every guard's name, and every guard's kids' names too.
[Picture: Marda Kresh neutral]
Marda Kresh: Marda Kresh, and this is my caravan. My rear watch got married last week, so I'm short two people. You're the two people.
Gwen: We're F-Rank. Isn't escort work for, like, D-Rank?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: It is. D-Rank costs more. You'll be fine, as long as you follow the rules.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Rule one, nobody wanders off. Rule two, nobody eats the cargo. Rule three, if I say run, you run toward the wagons, not away from them.
Jae: Greetings. I'll follow all three rules.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Good. Does it eat?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: It doesn't eat cargo.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: And I'm the mechanic! Three wheels, two axles and a spring, and I can fix anything!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Before they roll out, Nib has Jae hold a spare wagon wheel while he greases an axle. Then Marda has him saddle her horse, because she's curious if a construct can do it right.
The System: NOTICE! New forms. Wagon wheel. Saddle.
Doris, Kevin and Pete ride on the back of the last wagon. Kevin keeps falling off.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Gwen: Okay, theory number three. You're a time traveler. You came back from the future to stop something terrible.
Jae: I'm not from the future.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Then why do you keep looking at the sky like it's the wrong color?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: It is kind of the wrong color.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Wrong compared to what?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Compared to the brochure.
[Picture: previous speaker]
PLAINS RAPTOR. Minor. Waist high, fast, runs in packs. You'll see the grass move before you see them.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
At midday, the grass starts moving the wrong way. Long-legged runners as tall as a man's waist come out of it at full speed, their hides the same green as the grass.
[Picture: plains raptor-front]
[Picture: plains raptor-front]
[Picture: plains raptor-front]
Marda Kresh: Raptors! They'll try to spook the horses. Keep the wagons rolling and don't let them split us up!
A raptor slams into Marda's wagon. The back wheel hits a rock and shatters into pieces.
[Picture: plains raptor-front]
[Picture: plains raptor-front]
The wagon tips and drags. Jae dives under the axle, and one second later there's a wheel there again, spinning and glowing blue.
Marda Kresh: Hold on to something! We're not stopping!
Baek Jae-hyun: I've got it! Ow, rock, ow, rock, ow, big rock!
Gwen: Jae? Where'd you go? Why is the wheel talking?
Gwen hangs off the side of the wagon and swings her dagger at a raptor. She misses by a mile, and the raptor trips over a tuft of grass anyway.
Gwen: Did I do that? I didn't do that.
Marda Kresh: Keep not doing it. It's working.
The raptors give up after a mile and vanish back into the grass. The caravan rolls to a stop, and Jae crawls out from under the axle while Nib bolts on the spare.
Marda Kresh: Construct. You were a wheel.
Jae: Detachable wheel feature. All Solaran constructs have it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: They do?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: The good ones do.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Useful. My saddle got clawed to ribbons. Can it also be a saddle?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: ...Yes?
[Picture: previous speaker]
One second later, Marda's horse is wearing a leather saddle with a faint blue glow in the stitching. She climbs up and rides ahead to the waystation at a hard gallop.
[Picture: Saddle]
Baek Jae-hyun: Ow, ow. Could you sit up straight? Your posture is really bad, ma'am.
[Picture: Saddle]
Marda Kresh: Quiet, saddle.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Saddle]
Gwen: She's riding you. She's riding you across the grasslands. This is the best day of my life.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Saddle]
That night the wagons park in a circle inside the waystation wall. Nib falls asleep under a wagon with Pete on his chest, and Gwen and Jae end up alone by the fire.
[Picture: Gwen sad]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: You know what I miss? My mom's soup. She made it every time I was sick, and every time I wasn't, just in case.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae thinks about convenience store kimbap, eaten standing up at eleven at night. He can't taste anything anymore, and he'd still give a lot for one.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: That sounds nice.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: I did data entry. Four years of typing other people's numbers into little boxes.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: Other people's numbers. All day. Yeah.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: You say that like you know.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: Constructs do a lot of numbers.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: I was in a parking lot. I'd just bought a sandwich. There was a flash, and I was standing in a field with half a sandwich and no car.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: Nobody was waiting for me. Nobody had a sign. I'm pretty sure it was a mistake.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: It wasn't a mistake. I mean... I'm glad you're here.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: That's the nicest thing a toaster's ever said to me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae is humming without noticing. It's a pop song that played in every store in Seoul for one whole summer.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: How do you know that song?
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: ...Construct radio.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: There's no radio in Kavrix, Jae.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Jae: Solaran radio. It's very new. Only constructs can hear it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen stares at him for a long moment. Then she hums the next part, a little off-key.
[Picture: fx-embers]
Gwen: Whoever you are, your radio has good taste.
[Picture: fx-embers]
HIGHWAY RAIDER. Minor. Road bandits. The Guild posts clearance work on them every week. It never quite finishes.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
Before dawn, men in patched leather and rusty iron come over the waystation wall with knives out. One of them grabs Gwen from behind.
[Picture: highway raider-front]
[Picture: highway raider-front]
[Picture: highway raider-front]
Marda's broadsword is out before the first raider hits the ground. Jae walks straight at the one holding Gwen.
Jae: Let her go.
He picks the raider up and throws him back over the wall. On top of the wall, another raider draws an arrow and aims it at Gwen.
The arrow flies. Gwen throws her dagger up in front of her face, and the arrow hits the blade dead center and splits in two.
Gwen: Did... did that just happen?
Marda Kresh: I've been doing this a long time. I've never seen that.
The rest of the raiders take one look and go back over the wall after their friend.
Gwen: I'm always lucky. It's so annoying.
Marda counts her guards twice. Nobody's missing, and nobody's hurt worse than a black eye.
By noon the caravan rolls into the market at the far edge of the grass. Six wagons, every one of them whole.
Marda Kresh: Four gold each, like I promised. And two more each as a bonus, for the wheel and the arrow.
Nib Fettle: A bonus! I've never had a bonus! What do you do with a bonus?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I know what I'm doing with mine. The pay goes in now. The bonus goes in the tin.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae turns away and drops the four coins in his hatch.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 13. You earned 3 Shop Points.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 14. You earned 3 Shop Points. You have 15 Shop Points.
Jae: Next time somebody grabs Gwen, I want more than a mean look. Shop. Bite tab.
The System: PURCHASED! Bite II. Sharper teeth, and more of them. You have 11 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: bite-2]
The System: NOTICE! Saved gold, 6. Saved gold does not earn interest.
[Picture: saved-gold]
Jae: I know. I used to tell customers that every day. They hated me for it.
Marda waits until the others are busy with the horses. Then she walks over to Jae alone.
Marda Kresh: Twenty years I've been driving wagons. Wheels don't say ow when they hit a rock, and saddles don't complain about my posture.
Jae: Detachable features. Very advanced.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Whatever you are, you fight for your people. That's enough for me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: If you ever need to go somewhere bad, come and find me. And fix your excuses. They're terrible.
Gwen: What did she say to you?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: She said I'm a good wheel.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You are a really good wheel.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 8. The Crusher
The Crusher — Chapter 8
It's still dark out. Nib has been up all night finishing a clockwork bird the size of his hand, and Jae is asleep as the lantern on his bench.
[Picture: Lantern]
Nib Fettle: When did I get a blue lantern? You're a good lantern, very steady.
[Picture: Lantern]
Nib Fettle: This is Tilly, and she's going to the fair today. If the registry judge likes her, my name goes in the Gearhaven book. Nib Fettle, inventor, forever.
[Picture: clockwork-bird]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't talk. You're a lantern. But she's really good, man.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Lantern]
Nib Fettle: My mom always said goblins don't get their names in books. I want to send her the page.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib gets up to wake Jae. He looks in the corner, under the cot and behind the forge.
Nib Fettle: Jae! It's today! Where are you?
One second later, Jae is standing right behind him.
Jae: Greetings.
Nib Fettle: Aaah! Where were you? I looked everywhere!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Standby mode. In the corner.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: I looked in the corner!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm very good at standby.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: And where did my lantern go?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Lanterns. They wander.
[Picture: previous speaker]
On the shelf sits a tin with a label in Nib's handwriting, JAE'S SAVINGS, DO NOT TOUCH, THIS MEANS YOU KEVIN.
The System: NOTICE! Saved gold, 6. You are Level 14. This is enough to reach Level 17.
Jae: Tonight, after the fair. Three levels in one go. I've been waiting for that fanfare for a week.
The scrapyard fair has bunting on the cranes, food stalls and a stage for the judges. Behind it all stands the giant crusher, two toothed iron jaws that eat old wagons for a show.
Gwen: Nib, breathe. You're vibrating.
Nib Fettle: I'm not vibrating, Tilly's vibrating. I'm fine. I'm going to be sick.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A big half-orc at a honey stall hands Nib a spoonful of something gold without being asked.
Madoc Grey: Glade honey, good for nerves. I'm Madoc Grey, and I sell remedies for everything from coughs to heartbreak.
Nib Fettle: Thanks, Mr. Grey. It's working. I'm only a little sick now.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Ulara Gearwright: Oh. It's the door robot.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Nib. The registry judge is the pry bar lady.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Hinge inspector. Good morning.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Ulara Gearwright: Nib Fettle, a clockwork bird. Go ahead.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib opens his hands. Tilly flies a loop over the stage, and then she lands on the edge of Ulara's slate and folds her wings.
[Picture: clockwork-bird]
Ulara Gearwright: It landed. They never land. Final round at noon, Mr. Fettle.
Nib Fettle: Final round! I'm in the final round, you guys!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You did it, Nib! You actually did it!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: That's our guy. I told you, man.
[Picture: previous speaker]
RIOT GOLEM. Dangerous. Solara's crowd control. Built to hold, not to hurt. This one didn't get the memo.
[Picture: stamp-dangerous]
Across the yard, the city guard is showing off a new Riot Golem. It's twice as tall as a man, with a wall of a shield across its chest and thick padded arms made for holding people back.
[Picture: riot golem-front]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
The handler cranks its control rod up high to show off, and the rod cracks. The golem locks up and starts pushing the whole crowd back toward the crusher pit.
[Picture: riot golem-front]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Gwen: It's not stopping! It's pushing everybody into the pit!
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Jae: Gwen, get them out of here. I'll hold it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Nib Fettle: Jae, it's twice your size!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
Jae plants himself between the golem and the crowd. It grabs him with both arms, lifts him over its head and throws him onto the crusher's belt.
[Picture: riot golem-side]
[Picture: fx-sparks]
The iron jaws come together on Jae's chest, and his brass plates bend and crack. He could turn into a coin and drop through the gears, but the whole fair would see.
Jae: Nib! Stay back! Don't come up here!
Nib Fettle: Hold on! I've got you!
Nib climbs the crusher and jams his own arm into the gears. They stop with a horrible crack, and he screams.
Nib Fettle: Not... without... you!
He drags Jae off the belt by the blue scarf. Jae's chest hatch hangs open, and inside there are no gears, just darkness and a line of teeth.
Nib sees it. He doesn't say a word, and his clockwork bird falls out of his coat pocket into the jaws.
Jae gets up, and he isn't joking anymore. He walks straight at the Riot Golem.
Jae: You hurt my friend.
Gwen: Everybody back! Behind the stalls! Move, move, move!
He rips off its shield, then one arm, then the other. Behind the shield, where nobody can see, his hatch opens and bites through its power line.
Gwen: Jae...
The golem's lights go out. Jae sets its head down on the ground, very gently.
Jae: Nib! Nib, where are you?
Nib Fettle: Tilly got crushed. Did you see? She was right there.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Madoc Grey: Let me through. Don't move the arm, son. Somebody help me get him home.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib lies on his cot with his arm across his chest. Doris, Kevin and Pete sit on the floor in a line and don't move.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Madoc Grey: It's broken in two places. I can set it and splint it, and it'll heal.
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
Gwen: But?
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Madoc Grey: But it'll heal crooked. His fingers won't be quick like they were. For a tinkerer, that's everything.
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Is there something better?
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Madoc Grey: A glade honey tincture knits the bone straight in two weeks. It's six gold, and that's only what it costs me to make. I'm sorry.
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I've got one silver and a button. I have payments. Jae, I'm sorry.
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae takes his savings tin down off the shelf.
The System: QUEST! Spend your 6 saved gold? That's 3 levels. Level 17 will have to wait.
The System: WARNING! Gold 0. Are you sure?
[Picture: gold-0]
For five years, Jae sent part of every paycheck home to his mom in Daegu. He never once had to think about it.
Jae: Yeah. I'm sure.
He puts the whole tin in Madoc's hand.
The System: NOTICE! Helping a friend does not earn Shop Points.
Jae: I know. Worth it.
Madoc works on the arm for an hour. When he's done, Nib's eyes are half shut and his arm is wrapped in a splint that smells like flowers.
Nib Fettle: Jae? You still here?
Jae: I'm here. I'm sorry about Tilly, man.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: I'll build another one. Better. She'll have a little hat.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: You're my best robot, you know that?
Jae: I'm your only robot.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Still counts.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Hey, Jae. Warranty void if opened, right?
Jae: ...Right.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Okay. Good. I didn't open it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib closes his eyes. Jae stands there for a long time, trying to work out what that meant.
Gwen: You spent your savings on him.
Jae: I'm a construct. What would I even spend it on?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I've watched you put coins in your chest like a squirrel for two weeks. That was really sweet, Jae. For a toaster.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm not a toaster.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You're a little bit a toaster.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Best toaster.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Unbelievable.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Kevin pulls a sock over Nib's feet like a blanket. Doris climbs up onto Jae's head and goes to sleep there.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Chapter 9. E-Rank
E-Rank — Chapter 9
Morning at the Gearhaven Guild hall. The long tables are loud, the job board is full, and Wick Fernsby is standing on a crate behind the clerk's counter.
Wick Fernsby: Jae, Gwen, up here, please. Six jobs done, a caravan home in one piece, and a Riot Golem taken apart in front of a registry judge. You're both E-Rank.
He pins a plain iron tag stamped with an E to Gwen's cloak. Jae doesn't have a cloak, so Wick pins his to the sailcloth scarf.
[Picture: rank-e]
Jae: Greetings. I mean, thank you. I mean... seriously?
[Picture: rank-e]
Gwen: E-Rank! We're officially one step above rats.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: rank-e]
Wick Fernsby: Two steps. Rats don't get a promotion bonus. Four gold each, it's in the rules, and I checked the rules twice.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: rank-e]
Wick sets a small cloth purse in front of each of them. Nib, with his arm in a sling made from a flour sack, cheers and slaps his own knee.
The System: GOLD DETECTED! 4 gold within reach. Eat?
Jae: Not now. Not in front of Wick, man.
Gwen: Who are you talking to?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: My firmware. It gets excited about bonuses.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wick Fernsby: There's a party tonight in the back room. There's always a party. The Guild pays for the first keg.
[Picture: previous speaker]
That night the back room is packed and a fiddler is losing a fight with a drum. Jae pours a full mug of ale into the round hatch in his chest, and the whole table cheers.
Nib Fettle: That's six! Six mugs! Where does it go? Is there a tank? Can I see the tank?
Jae: Warranty void if opened.
[Picture: previous speaker]
While the Scrap Automatons carry a meat pie off the snack table on their heads, Jae slips into the storeroom with his purse.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Jae: Okay. Nobody's looking. Four gold, two levels. I've been hungry since the crusher, man.
He opens his hatch and tips the purse. The coins are halfway in when the door handle turns.
Wick Fernsby: Just grabbing the second keg! Don't mind me!
Jae changes in one second. Where the robot stood, there's a fat oak keg with iron bands and a faint blue glow around the bung.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Wick Fernsby: Huh. I could've sworn we only had the one left. Lucky us.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Wick rolls the keg out and down two steps, heaves it up on the party table, and knocks a brass tap into its side with a mallet.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Baek Jae-hyun: AH. Wick! That's my... okay, I don't know what that is, but it's mine!
[Picture: Ale Keg]
The fiddle is loud, and nobody hears the keg. Wick opens the tap, and the six mugs of ale Jae poured into his hatch come right back out.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Gwen: This one's warm. It tastes weirdly familiar, too. Where's Jae? He's missing his own party.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Baek Jae-hyun: I'm right here, Gwen. You're drinking me. Please stop drinking me.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The four coins went in with him when he changed. He eats them while Wick fills another mug.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 15. You earned 3 Shop Points.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 16. You earned 3 Shop Points. You have 17 Shop Points.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
The keg glows bright blue for one second. Wick looks at it, then at his mug, and puts the mug down.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Baek Jae-hyun: System. Is there anything that makes it hurt less when a halfling hammers a tap into me?
[Picture: Ale Keg]
The System: SHOP! Shell I, 2 Shop Points. Tougher object bodies. Buy?
[Picture: Ale Keg]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Buy. Buy it twice.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
The System: PURCHASED! Shell I. You have 15 Shop Points left. Shell I can only be bought once.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
[Picture: previous speaker]
When the room turns to toast Wick, the keg drops off the table on four tiny legs and scuttles into the storeroom. Gwen follows it just in time to see it unfold into a robot with a tap sticking out of its side.
[Picture: Ale Keg]
Gwen: Oh my god. Were you the keg? Jae. Were we drinking out of you?
Jae: Greetings. Yes. Keg mode.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: It's a party feature. I hold ale, I pour ale, I recycle ale. Nothing goes to waste.
Gwen: I had two mugs of your recycled... okay. Okay. I'm never thinking about this again.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Out in the hall the front door bangs open, and the fiddle stops. A lean woman with dark hair and tattooed forearms walks in with a roll of paper and a hammer.
[Picture: Rin determined]
Jae: Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
Gwen: You know her?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: No. I don't know anyone. I'm new. I was built on Tuesday.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She walks straight to the job board and nails a poster over three delivery jobs. It shows a wooden chest with a row of teeth, and big letters. WANTED. A WOODEN CHEST WITH TEETH. IT ATE MY GOLD. REWARD.
Rin: Name's Rin. Captain Rin. I'm looking for a chest.
Ulara Gearwright: Does it bite, love?
Rin: Yes. It bit a Debt Collector, and then it went over my rail in a storm with my gold inside it. Laugh it up.
The whole hall laughs anyway. Rin looks over every face in the room, and she stops on the robot.
Rin: You. Tin man. Seen a wooden chest with teeth?
Jae doesn't move. Nothing in the room moves except the lanterns.
Jae: ...No.
Rin: The Syndicate took my ship for that gold. The Lucky Penny. So I'm finding that chest, if it takes the rest of my life.
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Nib Fettle: A chest that bites! Can I have it when you're done? I'd give it a really good name.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Rin: When I'm done with it, it's firewood.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Rin: The dock boss at Alloyport says a goblin buys up everything that washes in on that beach. Little guy. Big goggles.
Nib Fettle: Lots of goblins buy salvage! There's me, and... okay, mostly me. But never a chest with teeth. I'd remember a chest with teeth.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Uh huh. Nice scarf, tin man. That's sailcloth. Where does a construct get sailcloth?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I was assembled from local beach.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Which beach?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: The sandy one.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The lanterns flicker. A tall, gaunt demon in a long black coat ducks in through the front door with a ledger under its arm, and this time nobody laughs.
[Picture: debt collector-front]
Rin: Oh, great. Not one of those again. If you're here for me, pal, I've been counted.
The collector walks right past her. It lays a contract on the party table in front of Gwen, and it says WELCOME LOAN, and under that, 300 GOLD.
Its voice is dry and flat. Three hundred gold with the interest, due in thirty days at the counting house in Gravetide Promenade, or the debt gets sold.
Gwen: Three hundred? It was ten! I borrowed ten gold for boots and a room!
Jae steps between Gwen and the table. The collector looks up at his visor for a long time.
Jae: She heard you. You can go now.
The collector writes in its ledger that the one chance has been given. It leaves the copy on the table and walks out.
Rin: Gravetide's a week by caravan, more if the salt's bad. And the salt's always bad.
Gwen's room is over a laundry and smells like soap. There's one chair, so Jae stands and holds the contract up to his visor.
[Picture: loan-contract]
Gwen: Go ahead. Say it. Stupid Gwen signed a thing.
[Picture: loan-contract]
Jae: Interest on the interest, every week. Every late fee counts as a new loan. And there's a fee for asking what you owe.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: loan-contract]
Gwen: You understand that? It's like three languages of lawyer.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I've seen papers like this before. Every day for five years, people brought them to my window, and I had to smile at them.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Your window? What window?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: My service window. I was a counting machine. At a bank. For other machines.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I never even looked at it. Nobody reads the terms! I was a week out of a parking lot, I didn't know what a gold was, and a nice man at a desk said "welcome" and gave me a pen.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Yeah. They always say welcome.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: If it gets sold, somebody owns me, Jae. That's how it works down there.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Then we go to the Abyss and we pay it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: We? It's three hundred gold. We make two gold a job.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Then we find better jobs. I'm not letting some guy in a long coat sell you, Gwen.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You're a really weird robot, you know that?
[Picture: previous speaker]
The door creaks. Rin is leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed.
[Picture: Rin smug]
Rin: Walls are thin. I've got the room across the hall, and you're loud when you panic.
Rin: My ship's in Gravetide. What's left of my crew is in Gravetide. And I'm done asking goblins about beaches, so I'm going the same way.
Jae: Marda Kresh has a caravan heading south in two days.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Then I'll see you on the road, tin man. Try not to rust.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin goes back across the hall. Jae stands in the middle of the little room for a long time.
Jae: She's coming with us. The chest lady is coming with us.
Gwen: Is that a problem?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: No. Why would that be a problem? I'm not a chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 10. Salt and Sand
Salt and Sand — Chapter 10
Five days south of Gearhaven, the grass gives out. After that it's white salt in every direction, and Marda's six wagons crunch across it in a line.
Marda Kresh: Three rules on my road. Water's rationed. Nobody walks off alone. And nobody touches the red barrel, because that one's mine.
Gwen: What's in the red barrel?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Rule three.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Twenty-three days left. I counted the wagon wheels too. Twenty-four. That's how bored I am.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Twenty-four wheels, four spares, and one robot who can be a wheel. I like my odds.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Detachable wheel feature. Available on request.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin rides on the back of the last wagon with her dirk across her knees. She paid her way in silver and took the night watch, and she spends every day watching the robot.
[Picture: Rin wary]
Rin: You don't eat, tin man. You don't sleep. You don't sweat.
Jae: I'm a construct. We run on sunlight.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: It was cloudy all day yesterday.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Stored sunlight. From the day before.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Uh huh. And you look at Marda's cash box the way I look at a steak.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm admiring the hinges. I'm a big fan of hinges.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Leave him alone, he's shy. He was built on Tuesday.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Everybody's hiding something, Earth girl. The trick is finding out what.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: How do you know I'm from Earth?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Takes one to know one. I got pulled out of a worse place than a parking lot.
[Picture: previous speaker]
SALT SCAVENGER. Harmless. Cat-sized, all ears. Follows caravans for scraps. Will absolutely steal your lunch.
[Picture: stamp-harmless]
At noon something moves in a crack in the salt. A pack of lean gray scavengers the size of cats pours out, low and fast, with wide flat feet and huge ears.
[Picture: salt scavenger-front]
[Picture: salt scavenger-front]
[Picture: salt scavenger-front]
[Picture: salt scavenger-front]
[Picture: salt scavenger-front]
Marda Kresh: Scavengers! They're on the food wagon!
Four of them run off across the flats with a sack of flatbread, a ham, a soup pot and Nib's spare goggles.
[Picture: salt scavenger-side]
[Picture: salt scavenger-side]
[Picture: salt scavenger-side]
[Picture: salt scavenger-side]
Nib Fettle: My goggles! Those are my backup goggles! Guys, go get them!
Nib's tiny automata and three Scrap Automatons charge after the scavengers. The scavengers turn around and chase them back, and then everybody is running in a circle, including Nib.
[Picture: scrap automaton-side]
[Picture: scrap automaton-side]
[Picture: salt scavenger-side]
Gwen: This is the saddest chase I've ever seen.
Jae: I've got it. Nobody steals lunch on my watch.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae follows the scavengers to their hole and pulls out the ham, the bread, the pot and the goggles. At the very bottom, under a pile of shiny junk, there's one gold coin.
The System: GOLD DETECTED! 1 gold. Eat?
Jae: Later. Too many people.
Marda Kresh: Nice work, tin man. Anything else down there?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Nope. Just ham.
[Picture: previous speaker]
By evening the sky to the south turns brown. Then the sand hits all at once, and the canvas on the front wagon rips loose and flies away.
[Picture: fx-sand]
Marda Kresh: Circle the wagons! Everybody under the canvas! Where's my canvas?
[Picture: fx-sand]
Nib Fettle: Gone! It's in the next kingdom by now!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sand]
Jae: Okay. Tent. I touched that canvas this morning. I can be a tent. I can totally be a tent.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sand]
Jae ducks behind the wagon where nobody can see him, and tries to change.
[Picture: fx-sand]
The System: SIZE LIMIT REACHED! A tent over a wagon needs Size II, Wardrobe. You are Size I, Barrel.
[Picture: fx-sand]
[Picture: size-limit]
Jae: Then sell me Wardrobe! Right now! There's sand in my visor, man!
[Picture: fx-sand]
The System: SHOP! Size II, Wardrobe, 10 Shop Points. A wardrobe, a door, a tent over a wagon. Buy?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sand]
[Picture: size-2]
Jae: Buy!
[Picture: fx-sand]
The System: PURCHASED! Size II, Wardrobe. You have 5 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: fx-sand]
A huge canvas tent spreads over the wagon, stakes itself down on every side and holds. Along one seam there's a faint row of teeth and a blue glow.
Marda Kresh: Everybody in! Now! Don't ask where it came from!
Marda's guards, Nib and Gwen pile in under the canvas while the sand roars against the outside.
Baek Jae-hyun: Emergency shelter mode. Please keep your arms inside the tent.
Gwen: Jae? You're the tent?
Marda Kresh: Does the tent have teeth?
Baek Jae-hyun: Those are zippers. Tent zippers.
Gwen: Jae. There are no zippers in Kavrix. I checked. I cried about it for a week.
Baek Jae-hyun: ...Local zippers.
The storm blows out after midnight. The tent folds itself up and stands back up as a robot with sand in every seam.
Gwen: Okay, I have a theory. In every isekai book on my shelf back home, the robot sidekick is secretly an ancient war machine from a lost empire. Tragic backstory. Probably a princess.
Jae: Yes. That. I'm very ancient.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: How ancient?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Four hundred. Ish.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Uh huh. And you knew what a zipper was.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: The lost empire had zippers, Gwen. It was very advanced. That's why it got lost.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Tin man. Whatever that was, you kept my people out of the sand tonight. Thank you.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Two nights later the salt turns into dunes. The wagons camp in a hollow between them, and Jae slips behind the water wagon with the coin from the scavenger hole.
Jae: Finally. One gold, all mine. Hello, dinner.
A lantern comes around the corner of the wagon. Jae changes in one second, and the coin drops onto the lid of a water barrel.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
Rin: Huh. Gold. Just sitting on a barrel in the middle of the desert.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't. Don't do it. That's my dinner.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Rin: Finders keepers.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Rin pockets the coin and sits down on the barrel. She knocks on its side with her knuckles.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
Rin: Sounds full. Good.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
Rin: You know why she's called the Lucky Penny? It's a coin from home. Worth nothing. You find one on the street, it's good luck. Nobody here gets the joke.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
Baek Jae-hyun: I get the joke, Rin. I just can't tell you I get it.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: One gold down. A whole ship to go.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Rin? Marda says it's your watch!
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Coming. Guess I'll get a drink on the way.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin stands up, reaches for the barrel lid, changes her mind and walks off with the lantern and the coin. The water barrel lets out a long sigh.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
Baek Jae-hyun: Seriously. She's the only person in Kavrix who ever takes gold from me.
[Picture: Water Barrel]
DUNE SERPENT. Dangerous. Long enough to loop twice around a wagon. Hunts by heat. Stay cold.
[Picture: stamp-dangerous]
Near dawn the sand under the camp starts to slide. Something sand-colored rises out of the dune, long enough to wrap twice around a wagon, with heat pits glowing along its jaw.
[Picture: dune serpent-front]
Nib Fettle: It's got my wagon! It's hugging my wagon! I'm IN the wagon!
The serpent loops around Nib's wagon and squeezes until the boards crack. Jae grabs it behind the head with both arms and hangs on.
Jae: Marda! Now!
Marda Kresh: Hold it still, tin man!
Marda's broadsword comes down on its coils. The serpent thrashes and throws Gwen off her feet and down the side of the dune.
Gwen: I'm fine! I'm falling! I'm fine!
Her dagger flies out of her hand and lands point first in a heat pit on the serpent's jaw. It screams, lets go of the wagon, and dives back under the sand.
Gwen: Did I do that? I did that. I wasn't even aiming.
Marda Kresh: Your luck's going to get you killed one day, girl. Just not today.
[Picture: previous speaker]
At the top of the next dune the whole caravan stops. Down on the floor of an old dried lake, a whole city glitters in the dark.
Rin: Gravetide Promenade. Home, sort of.
Gwen: It's beautiful.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: It's a trap with the lights on.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: We made it, Gwen. Now we just find three hundred gold.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 11. Gravetide Promenade
Gravetide Promenade — Chapter 11
Gravetide Promenade sits on the bottom of a lake that dried up a long time ago. Lift platforms clank up and down the old shore walls, and bells ring from the water auction.
Marda Kresh: This is where I leave you. I've got salt to sell and guards to pay. Stay out of the Palace, all of you.
Gwen: Define stay out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Don't go in. I'm at the caravan yard by the east lift if you need me. Tin man, look after them.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Halfway down the promenade there's a noodle cart with a striped awning. A small round halfling woman in a headscarf is yelling at a pot.
[Picture: Prue Tamworth angry]
Prue Tamworth: Don't you boil over on me. Not today. I've got customers. I've got one customer, and you're embarrassing me in front of him.
Rin: Prue.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue drops the ladle, runs around the cart and hugs Rin so hard that Rin's boots leave the ground.
Prue Tamworth: Captain! You're alive! You're skinny! Sit down, everybody sit down. Noodles for everyone, and I don't want to hear one word about money.
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Rin: Prue. Put me down. People are looking.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Prue Tamworth: Let them look. Who's the goblin? Who's the girl? And who's the big brass fellow with the lovely scarf?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Gwen: I'm Gwen. That's Nib. And that's Jae. He's a construct, he doesn't eat.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Prue Tamworth: Doesn't eat? Oh, you poor thing. Well, you can sit and smell it. Smelling's half of it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Prue talks to her ladle while she fills the bowls. Jae watches her the whole time and doesn't say a word.
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Prue Tamworth: I had a measuring cup on the ship. Best cup I ever owned. It walked right off the shelf the same week that cursed chest went over, and I never saw it again.
Jae: Walked off. Wow. Cups, huh.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: I swear that cup liked my soup. Don't look at me like that, girl. Kitchen things have opinions.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Where's Tengar?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Hauling crates at the bonded warehouse to work off his debt. Right next to the ship. He goes and pats her every night.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The bonded warehouse is a huge stone shed on the old waterfront. In the dock at the back sits the Lucky Penny, chained to the wall, with a Syndicate lock on her wheel.
A hulking dwarf with bones braided into his black beard walks by under a crate the size of a cow. He sees Rin and drops it.
[Picture: Tengar Dirgefeast surprised]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Captain!
Rin: Tengar. You threw my gold in the sea.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: I threw a CURSED CHEST in the sea. The gold just happened to be in it. I'd do it again.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: That was my whole payment, you idiot. That's why she's sitting in chains.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: It had TEETH, Captain. If that thing ever shows up again, I get the first swing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Totally reasonable. Very normal. Everybody wants to swing at chests.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: And what's this? A walking stove?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Greetings. I'm Jae. I'm a construct. I'm not a stove, and I've never been a chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Nobody said chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: ...Greetings.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Wait. The Lucky Penny? Like a penny? Like find a penny, pick it up?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: You get it?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: All day long you'll have good luck. Of course I get it. It's hilarious.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Years. I've waited years for somebody to get that joke.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin almost smiles. Then she looks at the lock on her ship's wheel, and the smile goes away.
The Syndicate counting house is a gold and red building at the top of the promenade. Gwen goes in alone, and Jae waits by a fountain that people throw coins into for luck on the way to the Palace.
Jae: System. If I could smell gold, I could find it. And if I could find it, maybe I could help her. What have you got?
The System: SHOP! Gold Sense, 3 Shop Points. Smell gold nearby. Buy?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: gold-sense]
Jae: Buy.
The System: PURCHASED! Gold Sense. You have 2 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
All at once the square smells like something. The fountain smells like copper and silver, and down at the very bottom, like two gold coins.
Jae: Oh wow. Two gold, under all that copper. It smells like fresh bread, man.
Nobody is watching but a pigeon. Jae fishes out the two gold coins and eats them.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 17. You earned 3 Shop Points. You have 5 Shop Points.
Jae: Don't look at me like that. You eat bread off the ground.
Gwen comes back down the counting house steps with a slip of paper. Her face is white.
Gwen: Three hundred gold, due in twenty days. Same as the collector said.
Gwen: And if I miss it, they don't just sell it. They auction it. People bid on debts here, Jae. Like cows.
Jae: They auction people's paper. Of course they do.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: How much have we got? All of us together?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Four gold. My Guild bonus.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: I've got two. And a lot of bolts.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Zero. I've got zero. Constructs don't carry money.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Across the square, the water auction is in full swing. Tengar is rolling water barrels onto the auction floor when a shadow slides over the crowd.
GILDED SKY RAY. Dangerous. Drifts over the desert. Part animal, part clockwork. Nobody's explained the second part.
[Picture: stamp-dangerous]
A flat gold ray as wide as a wagon drops out of the sky. Its skin shimmers gold and green, it has big insect eyes, and there's clockwork whirring under its wings.
[Picture: gilded sky ray-front]
The ray hits the auction floor and scoops up a water barrel. Tengar grabs the other end of the barrel and won't let go.
Tengar Dirgefeast: That's MY barrel! I carried it! I haven't been paid for it yet!
Jae: Hold it down, Tengar! I've got the wing!
Jae jumps on the ray's back and hammers the clockwork under its wing with his iron fist until the gears fly. The ray drops everything and flaps off over the dunes, crooked.
Tengar Dirgefeast: Hah! Not bad, tin can!
Tengar Dirgefeast: You hit like a dwarf, tin can. That's the nicest thing I've ever said to a stove.
The crew takes two rooms at the cheapest inn on the promenade. That night Gwen and Nib go down to Prue's cart for soup, and Jae stays behind alone.
Jae: Being a robot all day is like wearing a tie for sixteen hours. And the one object nobody ever touches is that one. I did the math.
Jae changes into the chipped clay wash basin on the stand by the window and lets out a long breath.
[Picture: Wash Basin]
Baek Jae-hyun: Ahh. Nobody ever uses the wash basin in a place like this. Perfect.
[Picture: Wash Basin]
The door lock clicks. Rin slips in with a lantern and goes straight for Nib's salvage bags.
Rin: A goblin who buys salvage on the Alloyport beach. A goblin who travels with a lot of junk. Let's see the junk.
She goes through both bags and finds pipes, springs and a bent kettle. Then she lifts the clay wash basin off its stand.
Rin: Hm. Heavy for a basin.
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't look in. Don't look in. There's nothing in there. There's never been anything in there.
Rin looks inside it, turns it over and taps the bottom. Then she sets it back on the stand, fills it from the water jug and yawns.
Rin: Long day. Might as well wash up, while I'm here.
Baek Jae-hyun: NO. Rin. No, no, no, no, no.
She rolls up her sleeves and bends over the basin with her hands cupped. The door flies open, and Gwen and Nib walk in with two bowls of soup.
Gwen: Rin?
Rin: Looking for soap.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wash Basin]
Gwen: In the wash basin?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wash Basin]
Rin: I'm thorough. Night, Earth girl. Night, goblin.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Where's Jae?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: ...Here.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wash Basin]
Gwen: Oh, come ON. Again with the hiding?
[Picture: previous speaker]
The wash basin unfolds into a dripping robot, who stands up very straight and wrings out his scarf.
[Picture: Wash Basin]
Jae: Low power mode. At night I take the shape of the humblest object in the room. It's a construct thing. We're very humble.
Gwen: Rin almost washed her face in...
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm aware, Gwen. I'm very, very aware.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Humble. Sure, buddy.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Twenty days and six gold. Guild jobs won't get us three hundred. Not in time.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: There's one place in Gravetide where six gold turns into three hundred.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: The Palace. The giant casino run by the actual Demon Lord.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue leans in the open doorway with a pot of soup on her hip. She heard all of it.
[Picture: Prue Tamworth amused]
Prue Tamworth: Oh, that's a terrible idea. I'll pack you lunch.
Chapter 12. House Rules
House Rules — Chapter 12
The Infernal Palace takes up a whole side of the promenade, gold and red and lit up so bright it hurts to look at. Music and shouting pour out of its doors.
PIT GUARD. Minor. The Infernal Palace's heavy muscle. Wears the house colors badly. Closes on wrists.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
Two hulking demon bouncers stand at the doors in house livery that's too tight across the shoulders. One of them is eating a whole roast bird, bones and all.
[Picture: pit guard-front]
[Picture: pit guard-front]
Rin: This is as far as I go. I don't gamble. Gambling's how I got a Syndicate loan in the first place.
Gwen: So you're just gonna stand out here?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: I've got posters. Every gambler in Kavrix walks past this door, and one of them has seen my chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Great. Good plan. Love that plan.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Okay, team funds! Gwen's four gold, my two gold, and Prue's lunch.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib holds up a cloth bundle with his good hand. It's still warm and it smells like fried dumplings.
Gwen: We're walking into the Demon Lord's casino with six gold and a packed lunch.
Jae: Oh wow. The whole building smells like fresh bread. Gwen, there's so much gold in there.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Leave the dice to me.
Gwen: What does that mean?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Nothing. Robot talk.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A Pit Guard puts a hand the size of a shovel on Jae's chest. It looks at the E-Rank tag on his scarf, grunts, and lets him through.
[Picture: pit guard-front]
Inside it's all red carpet, gold railings and hundreds of tables. Dice rattle everywhere, and nobody looks happy except the house.
[Picture: fx-glitter]
A woman with red skin, small dark horns and long crimson hair full of glowing embers comes down the stairs with a whip on her hip. She stops when she sees the robot.
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss amused]
Jezra Flamekiss: Well, well. A construct, on my floor. Nobody told me it was my birthday.
Jae: Greetings. I am functioning normally.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: I'm Jezra, sweetheart. I run this floor. So what brings a robot, a goblin and an E-Rank girl to my Palace?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Dice. Just dice. Casual, normal, everyday dice.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen trades the six gold for red glass chips and sits down at a dice table. Jae leans over and touches the table's leather dice cup, very lightly, then steps behind a pillar.
[Picture: casino-tokens]
Jae: Nib. In a second there'll be two dice cups. The warm one goes on the table, and the cold one goes in your sling. Don't ask.
Nib Fettle: I never ask. Well, I always ask. You never answer. It's our thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib knocks Gwen's drink over. While the whole table looks at the spill, he swaps the cups, and the robot behind the pillar is gone.
[Picture: Dice Cup]
Gwen shakes the cup. Inside, the dice roll across a long pink tongue, and it nudges them over, one side at a time.
Gwen: Why is this cup warm? Why is it... breathing?
Baek Jae-hyun: Keep shaking, Gwen. Don't look down.
Gwen: Oh no. Oh, you did not. You're the... okay. Okay. Shaking.
Double sixes. Then double sixes again. The stack of red chips in front of Gwen grows with every roll.
Baek Jae-hyun: Eleven in a row. Gwen, you're a natural.
Gwen: I'm going straight to hell for this. Oh, wait.
Across the floor, Jezra stares at the empty spot beside the pillar where the robot used to be, and taps her whip against her boot.
Nib swaps the cups back while Gwen cashes in thirty gold. A few seconds later the robot walks out from behind the pillar, fixing his scarf, and Jezra is waiting for him.
[Picture: casino-tokens]
Jezra Flamekiss: And where did you go, sweetheart? You were gone for ten minutes, right when my table started bleeding.
Jae: Restroom.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Constructs don't use the restroom.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Oil change. It's very private. You wouldn't want to see it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Oh, I think I would. I've never hired a construct. I love a challenge.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Greetings. Again. I'm... I'm mostly wood.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: What's your name, big boy?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Jae. Serial J-1004-2291.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Giving me your number already? Forward. I like it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Okay! Great! We're leaving now, with our thirty gold. Bye!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Leaving with thirty of my gold? No, no. Come upstairs to the high-limit table. One roll, double or nothing, and your robot stands right next to me, where I can see him.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The high-limit table sits on a raised floor behind a velvet rope, under a dark balcony. Jezra keeps her hand on Jae's arm the whole time.
Jae: Gwen. I can't help you this time. I'm stuck up here.
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss smug]
Gwen: I know. It's okay. I've got this.
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss smug]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The house rolls a ten. Gwen shakes a plain cold dice cup with her eyes shut, and throws.
Double sixes. The whole room goes quiet.
Gwen: I did that. That was me! That was just me!
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss smug]
Nib Fettle: Your weird luck! Gwen! Your weird, weird luck!
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss smug]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Sixty gold. Gwen, that's sixty gold!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: casino-tokens]
Jezra Flamekiss: The girl's lucky, and the robot needs an oil change every time my table loses. I love this. I haven't had this much fun in years.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A demon over seven feet tall steps over the velvet rope. He has two huge curling horns, an iron plate over his mouth, and a giant iron warhammer on his shoulder.
[Picture: Krell Fangor angry]
Krell Fangor: Table's closed.
Jezra Flamekiss: Krell, darling. I was having fun.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Krell Fangor: Pay them. And the machine goes out the front door. No machines at the tables. House rule.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I wasn't at the table. I was standing next to the table.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Krell Fangor: House rule.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A Pit Guard brings sixty gold on a brass tray. Krell grabs Jae by the scarf, and as Jae shoves the tray at Gwen, six coins slide off it and into his open hatch.
Krell carries Jae by the scarf with one hand, through the whole Palace, past a hundred tables and straight to the front doors.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 18. You earned 3 Shop Points.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 19. You earned 3 Shop Points.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 20. You earned 3 Shop Points, plus a bonus of 5. You have 19 Shop Points.
Jae: Not NOW! Seriously, not now!
Krell Fangor: Who are you talking to?
Jae: My firmware. It's having a great night.
Krell throws him. Jae flies down the Palace steps, bounces twice, and lands on his feet. Mostly on one foot.
Up on the dark balcony over the high-limit table, a Greed Imp with big ears scurries to a figure in the shadows. It whispers that six gold are gone from the house. Not won, not spent, just gone.
[Picture: level-20]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Who is the construct?
Rin is at the bottom of the steps, nailing a poster to a lamp post, and Jae is wobbling beside her on one foot. Gwen and Nib run down the steps after him with the bag of gold.
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Rin: Tin man. Nobody gets thrown out of the Palace. They just take your money until you leave.
Jae: Greetings. I'm a trendsetter.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four. Fifty-four? Hang on. It was sixty.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Fifty-four again! They shorted us! That cashier shorted us six gold!
Jae: Outrageous. This whole place is a scam.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Still. Fifty-four! That's more gold than I've ever seen in one bag, and it's not even mine.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Fifty-four out of three hundred. We're not dead. We're a little bit less dead.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Anybody want a dumpling? I've been holding Prue's lunch all night.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Nib. Give me every dumpling you have.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The Palace doors open again. Jezra comes down the steps and slides a folded black card into Jae's scarf.
[Picture: black-card]
Jezra Flamekiss: You forgot something, sweetheart. The Velvet Lounge, tomorrow night. Come alone.
[Picture: black-card]
Rin: Huh. Tin man's got a date.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: black-card]
Jae: I don't know how to date. I'm made of boat.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You're not going. Right? You're not going.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: ...Probably not.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 13. The Velvet Lounge
The Velvet Lounge — Chapter 13
Jae stands alone in the doorway of the Velvet Lounge, holding a black card with a lipstick kiss on it. Inside, it's all red velvet and low gold lamps, and everybody is whispering.
[Picture: black-card]
Jae: Come alone. Okay, I came alone. I told Gwen probably not, so now I'm lying to her from across town.
[Picture: black-card]
VELVET FIEND. Minor. The Palace's hostesses. Glowing tattoos, a voice that's hard to stop listening to. Here to make sure you stay a little longer.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
Two hostesses glide over with glowing tattoos sliding across their skin. The taller one holds out a silver serving tray with a drink on it, and asks in a soft voice what he desires tonight.
[Picture: velvet fiend-front]
[Picture: velvet fiend-front]
Jae: A bank holiday. Sorry, I mean greetings. I desire nothing, I'm a construct.
He lifts the drink off her tray, and the other one taps his brass arm curiously.
Jae: Please don't touch the rivets. They're load-bearing rivets.
Jezra Flamekiss: Girls, shoo. He's mine. I called him on the dice floor.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Greetings. I'm still functioning normally. Since last night.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: So. I've charmed two kings, a priest and a very lonely dragon. I've never tried a construct. Where does a girl even start?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: She could... not start. That's allowed. That's a real option.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra takes his drink and pours it straight into his chest hatch. It splashes around somewhere inside him.
Jae: Thank you. That was very... wet. Rich. A little oaky.
Jezra Flamekiss: You can't taste a thing, can you?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Honestly? Everything tastes like nothing. Except...
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Except what?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Except oil. Constructs love oil. We're huge oil fans.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Here's what I really want to know. Do constructs dream?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: ...Of gold.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Of gold! That's the most honest thing anybody's said in this room since it opened.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Now. Last night at the dice table. You were standing right there, and then you weren't, and then you were again.
Jae: Standby mode. I go very still. Some people say invisible.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: I was staring right at the spot, sweetheart.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: That's how good standby mode is.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Heavy boots come down the stairs, and three Pit Guards in tight red house coats shove into the lounge. The one with gold braid on his shoulder tells the room that Krell wants the robot that cheated.
[Picture: pit guard-front]
[Picture: pit guard-front]
[Picture: pit guard-front]
Jezra Flamekiss: Oh, look. Your fan club.
Jae: Jezra. Please. Is there a back door?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: There is. It's behind them. I'll count to ten, big boy. Surprise me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She covers her eyes with one hand. Up on the little stage, a lute leans on a stand, and the bard it belongs to is at the bar getting a drink.
Jae: Okay. I can be anything I've touched. So I touch the lute.
He shoves the lute behind the stage curtain and drops onto the stand. For one second there's a robot, and then there's a lute.
[Picture: Lute]
Jezra Flamekiss: Eight, nine, ten. Oh, he's gone again! I love this game.
Callum, the house bard, comes back with his drink and picks up the lute. He sits on the edge of the stage and plays the first chord.
Baek Jae-hyun: Not the top string. Not the top string! That's my... I don't even know what that is. But it's mine.
Jae keeps his mouth shut. Nobody hears a thing, but inside his own head he's screaming.
Callum Briarwood: Huh. She's out of tune. She sounds like a goose falling down the stairs.
Jezra Flamekiss: Play something slow, Callum. The boys are working.
Behind her, the Pit Guards flip cushions and look under tables. One opens a cupboard, and a hostess inside tells him to get out.
Callum Briarwood: I'm trying. She's fighting me. I think she's ticklish.
Baek Jae-hyun: I'm so ticklish. Nobody can ever know.
The captain stomps up to the stage and glares at the lute. The lute goes very, very still.
Jezra Flamekiss: Looking for a robot, captain? Brass head, blue eye, terrible at small talk? Try the kitchen, boys. Robots love kitchens.
Callum Briarwood: It bit me. On that last chord. My own lute bit me.
Callum goes back to the bar for a much bigger drink. When he turns around, a robot is stepping out from behind the curtain with a lute in its hands.
Jae: Greetings. Found your lute. It was back there.
Callum Briarwood: Then what was I just playing? It bit me!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: My travel lute. It folds out of my chest. It bites because it's scared of travel.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Duty calls, sweetheart. One of the boss's little imps just came down to fetch me. He's been asking about you, you know.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Me? Why would anybody ask about me?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Because somebody very important is very curious about the construct who never loses. Stay out of trouble. Or don't, and tell me all about it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She blows him a kiss and goes up the stairs. A minute later the Pit Guards come back down and plant themselves in front of the only door.
A hostess walks past collecting glasses on a stack of silver serving trays. Jae ducks behind a pillar, and a second later the stack has one more tray on top.
[Picture: Serving Tray]
She stops at a card table in the corner, and a man in a feathered hat drops a tip on the top tray. It's a gold coin.
[Picture: Serving Tray]
Baek Jae-hyun: Gold. On me. It's just sitting right on me.
[Picture: Serving Tray]
The System: GOLD DETECTED! One gold coin. Eat it?
[Picture: Serving Tray]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: gold-tip]
Baek Jae-hyun: No, that's her tip. I'm not eating a waitress's tip. I worked a counter for five years, there are rules.
[Picture: Serving Tray]
The hostess pockets the coin and sets the stack down by the curtain. Jae slides off it and stands back up as a robot, right beside the card table.
[Picture: Serving Tray]
Mara: You're blocking my light. Sit down or keep walking.
The woman at the table has loose dark hair and a plain good coat. She's the calmest person in the room, and she's losing to the man in the feathered hat on purpose.
[Picture: Mara neutral]
Jae: Greetings. I'll sit. Sitting is great. I'm just a normal customer, customering.
Mara: Everybody at my table plays. House rule. Here, I'll stake you. Two cards.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: casino-tokens]
Jae: All of it. I'll bet all of it. Greetings.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: casino-tokens]
The man in the feathered hat stares at the robot for a long time, then throws down his cards and storms off.
Mara: Show me your hand.
Jae: It's a good hand. It's a top secret hand.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: It's a two and a five. You're not a construct.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm extremely a construct. I've got rivets. A lady just touched them.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: Constructs don't bluff. They can't. You just bet my money on a two and a five and said greetings like a man at a funeral.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Okay. Hypothetically. If I wasn't a construct, what would I be?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: No idea. Don't care. I'm Mara. I got summoned here too, and I learned fast that everybody in this town is hiding something.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: Everybody in this room is on paper somewhere. Every debt, every deal. So I made it my business to find out where the paper is kept.
Jae: And where is it?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara lays five cards face down on the velvet and turns them over one at a time. On their backs someone has drawn a long stone bridge, then the huge pylons under it, then rooms full of shelves inside the pylons.
Mara: Auric Span. A city built on a bridge. The pylons that hold it up are hollow, and they're stuffed with contracts. Every debt in the Gilded Abyss sleeps in there.
Jae: Every debt. Including a 300 gold welcome loan with a girl's name on it?
Mara: Your friend in the headscarf. I heard about her at the dice table. I hear about everything.
Jae: What do you want for it?
Mara: A partner who can do something strange. I don't know what you can do. I just know you can do it.
Jae: And what's in it for you?
Mara: My own piece of paper. Same shelves, probably. I don't like being owned.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: Bring your friends, if you trust them. Now get out of here before those three remember what a robot looks like.
The System: SHOP! Special tab. Mimic Voice, 5 Shop Points. Copy anyone's voice. You have 19 Shop Points.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: mimic-voice]
Jae: Copy anyone's voice, like the guard captain's. For once your timing is great, System. Buy it.
The System: PURCHASED! Mimic Voice. You have 14 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
He steps behind the pillar by the door and opens his mouth. A warm, silky woman's voice comes out of him.
Jae: Boys. Why don't you come over here and sit with me for a while?
All three guards turn around very slowly. One of them fixes his hair.
[Picture: pit guard-back]
[Picture: pit guard-back]
[Picture: pit guard-back]
Jae: Wrong voice. Wrong voice! That was the tray lady. Hold on.
He clears a throat he doesn't have and tries again. This time the captain's rough bark comes out, exactly right.
Jae: What are you all standing around for? The robot's in the kitchen! Move it!
The Pit Guards stampede up the kitchen stairs. Their captain runs after them, yelling that he didn't say that.
Mara: Constructs don't do impressions either, by the way.
Jae walks out the front door into the warm desert night. For the first time since the Debt Collector came for Gwen, there's a way to reach her contract.
Jae: A map, a partner, and I do voices now. Gwen's gonna kill me for going alone. Then she's gonna love this.
Chapter 14. Almost Caught
Almost Caught — Chapter 14
The inn room has two narrow beds, one window and a floor that squeaks in three places. Nib is asleep on one bed with two Scrap Automatons curled up on his feet.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Every night Jae goes into low power mode as some humble object. Tonight there's a big oak wardrobe in the corner that wasn't there at dinner.
[Picture: Wardrobe]
Baek Jae-hyun: Best sleep in Kavrix. Nobody drinks out of you, nobody sits on you. And nobody has ever tried to wash their face in a wardrobe.
[Picture: Wardrobe]
There's a soft knock, and the door opens a crack. Gwen comes in from across the hall, holding up a candle.
[Picture: Gwen sad]
Gwen: Jae? Is that you? You said humble. That's the biggest thing in the room.
[Picture: Wardrobe]
Baek Jae-hyun: It's a humble wardrobe. It's only got one door. Please go back to bed.
[Picture: Wardrobe]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I can't sleep. Can we talk? Are you even awake in there?
[Picture: Wardrobe]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae doesn't say a word out loud. She reaches for the handle. Jae tries to change back in a hurry, but he's still half asleep, and it goes wrong.
[Picture: Wardrobe]
Gwen pulls the door open. The wardrobe is half a robot, with one brass arm sticking out of its side and a blue visor glowing on the inside of the door.
Gwen: ...Jae?
Jae: Greetings. Self-cleaning cycle.
Gwen: You told me this was low power mode.
Jae: Different cycle. Low power is weeknights. Tonight I self-clean.
Gwen: Your arm is coming out of the side of the wardrobe. And the door has teeth.
Jae: Zippers. Local zippers. Please shut the door, it's very private, like walking in on somebody in the shower.
Gwen: Oh my god. Okay. Sorry! Sorry!
Gwen slams the door and faces the wall with her eyes squeezed shut.
Behind her, the wardrobe folds up into a robot, and the corner is empty again.
Gwen: Is it done? Are you person-shaped again?
Jae: Fully person-shaped. Very clean.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: It's two in the morning, and I just saw a wardrobe with an arm. I'll talk to you tomorrow, tin man.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She pads out and shuts the door. On the bed, Nib hasn't moved, but both of his ears are pointing straight at the corner.
In the morning, Gwen goes down to help Prue at the noodle cart. Nib is out of his sling at last, and he sits Jae on the bed and gets out his oil can.
Nib Fettle: Hold still, your elbow squeaks when you lie. When you lift! So. Self-cleaning cycle, huh?
Jae: You were awake.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Goblin ears, I can hear a moth land. Don't worry, I didn't see anything. I was facing the wall, like Gwen.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Jae. You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything. It doesn't matter how weird it is.
Jae: I know.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: I mean it. I stuck my arm in a crusher for you, and you spent your whole savings on my arm. That makes us more than square.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae opens his chest hatch an inch, and blue light spills out onto the blanket. Then he shuts it again.
Jae: The warranty. It's void if opened. Still void. Sorry, man.
Nib Fettle: Yeah, okay. The offer's open, though. Like Prue's noodle cart, always open.
[Picture: previous speaker]
That afternoon Jae has the room to himself. After last night, he naps as a coat rack instead of a wardrobe.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Baek Jae-hyun: No doors, no drawers, no handles. Just a pole with hooks. Nobody in history has ever opened a coat rack.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
The door bangs open. Captain Rin walks in with a rolled-up wanted poster under her arm and hangs her coat on him without looking.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Rin: Goblin's out. Good. A goblin who buys beach salvage has my chest somewhere, and I'm gonna find it.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
She gets down and looks under both beds. She finds one of Nib's socks and a Scrap Automaton, which salutes her.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Rin: They took my ship because of you. The Lucky Penny. I bought her with a loan I'm still paying, and she's sitting in a Syndicate dock with a lock on her wheel.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Baek Jae-hyun: I didn't eat your ship. I ate some of your gold. And your lucky coin. Okay, that's worse when I say it.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Rin: And when I find you, I'm putting you in a furnace. Then I'm selling the ashes.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin sits on the bed and stares at the corner. The coat rack's top hook twitches.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Rin: ...Did you just move?
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't move. Coat racks don't move. Think coat rack thoughts, coats, hats, umbrellas.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin's hand slides to the dirk on her belt. She gets up and walks toward the corner, very slowly.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay. Mimic Voice. Do the big guy.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
A deep, grumpy voice booms in from the open doorway. It sounds exactly like Tengar.
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Baek Jae-hyun: CAPTAIN! Down here, quick! It's the chest!
[Picture: Coat Rack]
Rin: Tengar? The chest? Where?
[Picture: previous speaker]
She bolts down the stairs with her coat still on the coat rack. When she stomps back up, out of breath, the coat is on the floor and a robot is standing in the corner.
[Picture: Rin angry]
Rin: Tengar's not even here, he's on the docks. Somebody's messing with me.
Jae: Greetings. Are you... in our room?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Looking for soap. Where's the coat rack?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: What coat rack?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: The coat rack. In the corner. I hung my coat on it, and it twitched.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Oh, that coat rack. That was my cousin. He's a coat rack.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: ...Your cousin.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: He was visiting. He had to go. He's got a lot of coats to hold. Very busy family.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin looks at him for a long time. Then she picks her coat up off the floor and hangs it on his arm.
Rin: Hold that, then. Must run in the family.
Rin: One of these days, tin man, you're gonna explain your family to me. I've got a lot of questions about your cousin.
That night Gwen finds him on the roof of the inn. Below them the old lake bed is dark, and the whole sky is stars.
[Picture: Gwen amused]
Gwen: Hey, tin man. No wardrobe tonight?
Jae: The cycle's done for the week.
[Picture: previous speaker]
She sits down next to him with her knees pulled up and her cloak around them. For a while, neither of them says anything.
Gwen: So how was your date with the fire lady? The one you probably weren't going to?
Jae: It wasn't a date. She poured wine into my chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's a date in this town. That's like a second date.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I also met a card player named Mara. She thinks she knows how to get to your contract. So, you know. Productive date.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Fifty-four gold. That's what I've got, out of three hundred. I counted it four times today. It's still fifty-four.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Counting it again doesn't make more. Trust me. I've done a lot of counting.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You say stuff like that, and I swear you used to work in an office.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I told you. I was a counting machine at a bank. For other machines.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I was alone for a whole year here, you know. I'd wake up in a room that wasn't mine, in a city I couldn't find on a map, and nobody knew my name.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: And the first person who was nice to me was the guy at the Syndicate desk. He smiled and said the loan was a welcome gift. Just sign here.
Jae: He lied to you.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Everybody here lies with a smile on. That's the one thing I can't take anymore. Monsters, fine. Lies, no.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Except you. Okay, you turn into furniture. But you're the only thing in this whole world that's exactly what it looks like.
Jae: Gwen... there's something I should tell you.
[Picture: previous speaker]
His chest hatch opens an inch, the same way it did for Nib. Blue light spills out onto his knees.
Jae: ...You've had noodle sauce on your sleeve since this morning. I didn't know how to say it.
Gwen: See? That's what I mean. You tell me the truth even when it's embarrassing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I've ruled out ancient war machine, by the way. I'm going back to my first guess. Cursed prince.
Jae: What if I'm just a robot?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Then you're the only boring thing in Kavrix. I'd take it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen leans over and puts her head on his shoulder. It's a hard brass shoulder, and she doesn't seem to mind.
Gwen: You're cold. You know that? It's like leaning on a lamp post.
Jae: Sorry. I could try to warm up. I've never tried.
Gwen: Don't. Just stay like this for a minute. Stay exactly what you are.
His visor glows soft blue in the dark. He doesn't move, and he doesn't talk, because everything he could say is a lie or the truth.
Jae: Okay. A minute.
They stay until the stars start to fade. When Gwen falls asleep on his shoulder, he carries her down the stairs to her room.
Jae: I'll tell her. After the contract. After she's free. I'll tell her everything.
The System: GOOD MORNING! Rest complete. You have 14 Shop Points. Have a great day!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: good-morning]
Jae: Yeah. Thanks, man.
Chapter 15. Put It in Writing
Put It in Writing — Chapter 15
Jezra found Jae alone on the promenade after dark and said the boss wanted him. Two Pit Guards came along to help him say yes.
Now she walks him down a long corridor deep in the Infernal Palace. The walls are hung with framed contracts, and every one has a gold seal.
Jezra Flamekiss: Don't be nervous, sweetheart. He's charming. He's the most charming man you'll ever meet, and that's the problem.
Jae: Who is? Please say it's a very small manager.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Xylos. The Demon Lord. He owns the palace, the town, the desert, and probably your scarf.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: His little counters say the gold keeps coming up short wherever you stand. He finds that fascinating.
Jae: That's a coincidence. I stand in a lot of places.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: A little advice, since I like you. Whatever he offers, check every word. Then check them again.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The salon is warm and dim and full of velvet chairs. Behind a desk piled with ledgers, a slim demon with long dark red hair and two curved horns looks up and smiles.
[Picture: Xylos, the Demon Lord amused]
The gold patterns on his crimson coat shift while he watches. In the shadows behind his chair, something big and shapeless moves and settles.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: There he is. The construct who never loses. Come in, sit. Jezra, darling, thank you, the floor misses you.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Six gold coins slid off a payout tray at my high-limit table and were never seen again. My counters cried about it. Then my guards chase a robot through my own lounge, and my bard swears his lute bit him.
Jae: Lutes are unpredictable.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: They really are. Now, I have a counting vault full of gold, and everybody I hire to guard it wants some. Men, demons, even my imps sneak coins under their tongues.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: But a construct doesn't want anything. A construct can't be tempted. So I want a construct.
Jae: Right. Totally untemptable. Huge fan of not wanting stuff.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Ten gold a week. And a signing bonus of fifty, which I hear would make a certain girl in a headscarf very happy.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Fifty, plus her fifty-four, is a hundred and four. Then ten a week after that. It's not enough, but it's a start.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Spoken like a man who's counted money for a living. Well. Like a construct who has. Shall we put it in writing?
[Picture: previous speaker]
He slides a single page across the desk. The paper is thick and creamy, and the ink on it is a dark red that shines a little.
A Greed Imp climbs onto the desk with a little gold stamp, licks its thumb, and sits there staring at the pen.
[Picture: greed imp-front]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Any deal over one gold is written, stamped and witnessed. That's my witness. He can't read a word, but he can count, and that's all a witness needs.
Jae picks up the pen, which is warm, and fills in the lines in his neatest bank handwriting.
Jae: Name, Jae. Kind, construct, made in Gearhaven, age two months. Past work guard duty, debts none, signed Jae.
The Greed Imp stamps the bottom of the page. Then the red ink starts to crawl across the paper on its own.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
[Picture: fx-red-script]
The ink draws a neat line through the word Jae. Next to it, in small careful letters, it writes Baek Jae-hyun.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Oh, it's doing the thing. It hasn't done the thing in years! Name, Jae, crossed out, Baek Jae-hyun.
Jae: That's a typo. The pen's broken. I'll get a new pen.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Shh, it's still going. Kind, construct, crossed out, Mimic! With a little error in brackets, like the chests in the old stories!
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Made in Gearhaven, crossed out. Born in Seoul. I don't know where Seoul is. I know where everything is!
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Came by a wild summon that went wrong. Placed in the nearest container. Somebody dropped you in a box like leftovers!
Jae: Can we please stop reading the paper now?
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Darling, I've never stopped reading anything in my life. Age, two months, crossed out. Twenty-eight.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Past work, guard duty, crossed out. Formerly... a bank teller.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos looks up at Jae, then down at the page, then up at Jae again.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: A bank teller. You sat behind a little window and counted other people's money all day. For years. Tell me it's true.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Jae: Five years. Mapo branch. Employee of the month twice.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Twice!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
The ink isn't done. Under formerly a bank teller, it adds one more line in small, polite letters.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
[Picture: fx-red-script]
Xylos reads the new line, and his mouth opens, and nothing comes out. Then his shoulders start to shake.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Formerly... a cup.
Jae: It was a nice cup.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: A wooden cup! It says a pirate captain drank rum out of you! And it keeps going, formerly a spoon, formerly a boot, formerly a cutlery drawer!
Jae: Please don't read the next one. I'm begging you. Not the next one.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Formerly... a door. A shed door, on a test range.
Xylos has to sit down on the floor. He laughs until he can't breathe, and he wipes his eyes with his sleeve.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: A door. I've owned kings, darling. Kings. Not one of them was ever a door.
Jae: It was for a job! I was hiding from an inspector!
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Formerly a wash basin. Oh, you poor thing. Did somebody wash their face in you?
Jae: She almost did. Nobody knows about that one. Nobody.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Formerly a dice cup. My dice cup. And formerly a lute, so my bard was right all along!
When Xylos can finally stand, the ink has written two more lines. He picks up the page, and his smile changes.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
[Picture: fx-red-script]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Debts, none, crossed out. Owes Captain Rin eight gold. And one lucky coin.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Captain Rin. The raider with the posters. A wooden chest with teeth, it ate my gold. That was you.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Jae: Yeah. That was me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: And at the very bottom. Level 20. Level 20 of what, I wonder?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Jae: It's a construct thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Six coins gone from my table, and a Debt Collector with a bitten arm. A thing that eats gold. In my house.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: corrected-contract]
He takes a gold coin from his sleeve and flicks it through the air, straight at Jae. Jae's chest hatch snaps open by itself, a long purple tongue catches the coin, and the hatch shuts.
[Picture: lucky-coin]
Jae: ...Reflex. That was a reflex. I'm so sorry.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Again.
[Picture: previous speaker]
He flicks a second coin, then a third, and both of them are gone with a snap.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 21. You earned 3 Shop Points.
Jae: Your timing, man. Your TIMING.
On the desk, the red ink crosses out Level 20 and writes Level 21.
[Picture: corrected-contract]
[Picture: fx-red-script]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: It updated! It keeps you up to date! Oh, I'm going to frame this.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: The job's off, of course. A deal signed with a lie doesn't hold. But the corrections are in my ink, and every word is true.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: So I own the only written proof in Kavrix of exactly what you are. That's why I picked a witness who can't read.
The Greed Imp waves at Jae. Xylos folds the page twice and slides it into his sleeve.
[Picture: greed imp-front]
Jae: What do you want?
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Me? Let me show you what you want first. It's only polite.
[Picture: previous speaker]
TEMPTATION WEAVER. Dangerous. Becomes whatever you want most. Don't look at it too long.
[Picture: stamp-dangerous]
The thing behind his chair drifts into the light. It has no fixed shape, and it folds and shifts as it comes toward Jae.
[Picture: temptation weaver-front]
First it becomes a mountain of gold coins, taller than a man. Jae's hatch creaks open on its own.
Jae: Oh no, that's a lot. That's so much. Shut, hatch, shut!
Xylos, the Demon Lord: That's the hunger. Everybody has one of those. Let's see what's under it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The gold slides down and folds up into a tired young man in a white shirt, a loose navy tie and a navy vest with a blank name badge.
It's Baek Jae-hyun. He smiles the way he used to smile at customers, and he holds out his hand.
Jae: That's me. That's what I looked like.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Hands. A face. A mouth that tastes things. You haven't tasted a thing since you got here, have you?
Jae: Not a thing. Not even kimbap. I used to eat it every night on the way home.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: I can't give you that. I'd be lying if I said I could, and I never lie.
Jae's brass hand lifts on its own, halfway to the hand held out to him. Then he pulls it back.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Here's my offer. Sign as my vault's mimic for life. You guard my gold, you eat what I allow, and nobody ever steals from me again.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: In return, your friend's debt disappears. Three hundred gold, gone. I'll burn it myself.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Or say no, and I show your friends this page. The girl, the goblin, the raider with the posters. I'll do all the voices.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: And in three days I sell the girl's debt at auction. The salt works always need hands, and they never give them back.
Jae: I'll think about it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Three days. I love a deadline.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: He laughed. I heard him through the door. He never laughs like that. What did you do in there?
Jae: Paperwork.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: QUEST! Three days. Sign for life, or everybody finds out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: quest-three-days]
Jae: I know. I was there.
Jae walks out of the palace into the night with 17 Shop Points and a secret the Demon Lord keeps in his sleeve.
Jae: Three days. How do I tell them about the auction without telling them how I know?
Chapter 16. The Plan
The Plan — Chapter 16
The bonded warehouse smells like salt and old rope. Tengar borrowed the key from his foreman, and nobody asked why.
Through the back door, the Lucky Penny sits chained in the next dock with a Syndicate lock on her wheel. The whole crew is waiting when Jae walks in.
Gwen: There he is. Where were you all night? Prue saved you noodles, even though you don't eat.
Prue Tamworth: He eats. He just eats very politely. Into his chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Everybody, it's bad. Gwen's debt is being sold at auction in three days. To the salt works.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Three days? No, I've got more time than that. The Debt Collector said, it's written down!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Debts are property here. Whoever holds the paper can sell it whenever they like. The due date doesn't matter once it changes hands.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Who told you this, tin can?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Mara. The card player from the lounge. She hears things.
[Picture: previous speaker]
It's a lie, and it comes out smooth. That's the part Jae hates most.
Prue Tamworth: Well, you're not going. I've got a big pot and a bad temper, and nobody's taking my girl anywhere.
Nib Fettle: So we pay it. How much have we got? I've got four silver and a bolt.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Then we don't pay it. We take it. The contract's in the archive under Auric Span. We walk in, we grab Gwen's paper, we walk out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Rob the Syndicate? In their own desert? Huh. I like this robot now.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Every debt in the Abyss is in that archive? Then my ship's contract is sitting on a shelf in there too. I'm in.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The door creaks. Mara walks in like she's been invited, and behind her Marda Kresh ducks under the frame.
[Picture: Mara neutral]
[Picture: Marda Kresh amused]
Mara: Morning. You must be the friends. I hear there's a job.
Marda Kresh: I told you lot to stay out of the Palace. So naturally now you're robbing the Syndicate. I came to make it less stupid.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: My company walks the notaries' wagons onto Auric Span every morning. Paper in, paper out. I know every guard on that bridge by name.
Gwen: Mara, right? Thanks for the tip about the auction. Seriously. We'd have found out too late.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara looks at Gwen, then at Jae, for exactly one second. Then she smiles.
Mara: Of course. I hear things.
Mara unrolls a big sheet of stolen plans across three crates. The Scrap Automatons start building a little bridge out of bolts next to it without being asked.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Everybody crowds around the crates. Mara's finger moves along the drawing of the bridge while Prue walks around the table putting a bowl in every hand.
Mara: Every morning at dawn, the notaries' wagons roll onto the bridge with the new contracts. Marda's people walk beside them.
Marda Kresh: Two extra guards won't get looked at twice. Tengar, you're one of them. Try to look bored.
Tengar Dirgefeast: I always look bored. It's my face.
Mara: The notaries eat breakfast on the bridge before they go down into the pylons. From a cart.
Prue Tamworth: From my cart. Pastries for the notaries. Nobody ever searches the pastry lady.
Mara: The archive's in the third pylon. There's a supply lift on the outside of it, with ropes and a crank.
Rin: A lift, a rope and a locked door. Sounds like every ship I ever boarded.
Nib Fettle: And I can crack any lift gear in the Gilded Abyss. Probably. Most of them. Some.
Gwen: And I'm the one who knows what my own contract looks like. So I'm going in.
On the table, the Scrap Automatons finish their model bridge and salute. Then it falls over.
Mara: Two problems. First, the archive doors. They change the locks every week, and nobody outside the Syndicate has a key.
Mara: Second, the moths. The Syndicate keeps swarms of them down there, and they eat any page that isn't sealed. Whatever we take, we keep it sealed or we lose it.
Nib Fettle: Paper-eating moths. Great. Love that. That's fine.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: A lock with no key. Hold on.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae turns away from the table. A window only he can see pops up in front of his visor.
The System: SHOP! Forms tab. Partial Change, 6 Shop Points. Change just one part of your body. You have 17 Shop Points.
[Picture: partial-change]
Jae: One part. Like a hand into a key. Buy it.
The System: PURCHASED! Partial Change. You have 11 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae looks down at his iron hand and thinks hard about keys. His fingers fold together, go flat, and grow little metal teeth.
Nib Fettle: Whoa. Jae. Your hand just turned into a key.
Jae: Multi-tool hand. Standard construct feature. It came with the update.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: I've taken apart a hundred constructs, and not one of them had...
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib stops. He looks at Jae's chest hatch, then looks away.
Nib Fettle: Yep! Standard feature. Very standard. Love the update.
Rin: What else does the update do?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Mostly bug fixes.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Captain. If we're in the Syndicate's house anyway, what if the cursed chest is down there too?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Then it's mine. I don't care whose job this is. If that chest turns up, it's mine.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: And then I'm throwing it off the bridge. Again. This time it stays down.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Great. Good plan. Love the chest plan. Can we get back to the other plan?
[Picture: previous speaker]
The next day, Marda walks Jae, Gwen and Mara across Auric Span to look at the pylons. The city runs along a stone bridge so long that you can't see the far end.
Gwen: A whole city on a bridge. Where do people put their trash? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Mara: There. The third pylon. See the little iron door by the stairs? It's a maintenance door, same kind of lock as the archive, just older.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Time to test the multi-tool hand.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae kneels by the iron door while Gwen and Marda stand in front of him, pretending to look at the view. His hand folds into a big key and slides into the lock, and the door clicks open.
Gwen: It worked! Jae, it actually worked!
Jae: Of course it worked. It's a feature.
A notary in a black coat and a gold chain comes up the stairs, beaming at Marda. Jae yanks his hand out of the lock, and it's still a key.
Marda Kresh: Morning, Notary. Just showing my new guard the bridge.
The notary smiles at the robot and holds out his hand to shake. Jae tells his hand to change back, and it doesn't listen.
Jae: Greetings. Construct handshake. It's very secure.
Gwen: He's new. He's from Solara. That's how they shake hands in Solara.
Marda Kresh: It means he trusts you, Notary. He's giving you the key to his heart.
The notary laughs a little nervously and hurries off. On the way, he drops his brass notary stamp, and Jae picks it up and hands it back.
Mara: Put that on the list of things constructs don't do.
Jae: It'll work on the day. I just need to practice the part where it turns back.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Whatever you are, Jae, a key's a useful thing to be.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The night before the job, the crew sleeps on sacks and crates in the warehouse. Prue snores, and Tengar snores louder, to win.
Jae sits by the door, keeping watch for real this time. Nib comes over with a blanket around his shoulders and sits down next to him.
Nib Fettle: Can't sleep. My brain keeps building the lift gear in my head. It's blown up twice. Nobody got hurt.
Nib Fettle: Jae. Tomorrow's big. If something goes wrong, is there anything you want to say? To me, or to anybody?
Jae: Why do you keep asking me that?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Because you keep almost answering.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae looks over at Gwen, asleep on a sack of rice with her dagger in her hand. Then at Rin, asleep sitting up with her wanted poster on her lap.
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Jae: Nib. What if somebody wasn't what they said they were? What if they'd been lying the whole time, but only because they were scared?
Nib Fettle: Then I'd want to know what they were scared of. And then I'd tell them it's okay. Probably with a sandwich.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: And if it's really, really weird?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: Jae. I name my screwdrivers. My best friend drinks ale through a hatch in his chest. Weird is my whole thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae's chest hatch opens an inch, and blue light spills onto the floor between them.
Jae: Nib, I'm...
Across the room, Rin mutters something in her sleep. Something about teeth.
Jae: ...I'm really glad you're here. That's all. After the job, I'll tell you more. I promise.
Nib Fettle: After the job, okay. I'll hold you to it. I've got a very good memory, mostly for gears.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The hatch clicks shut. Nib falls asleep against Jae's arm, and the Scrap Automatons climb up and fall asleep on Nib.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
The System: QUEST! Steal the contract before the auction. Time left, 1 day.
[Picture: quest-one-day]
Jae: Yeah. I know. Tomorrow.
Chapter 17. Auric Span
Auric Span — Chapter 17
Auric Span is a whole city built on one long stone bridge. The debt archives sit sealed inside its giant pylons, far above the canyon floor.
Marda's company rides in at the head of six notary wagons. Prue's catering cart rattles along at the back, stacked high with pastries.
Marda Kresh: Eyes front. Notaries don't smile at gates, and neither do the people guarding them.
Gwen: I'm not smiling. This is just my face when I'm about to commit a crime.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Also, in every heist story, somebody sells out the crew at the end. I'm just saying it so it's said.
Mara: Then it's lucky this isn't a story. Last thing, the gate checks every construct's plate against the Palace list, and Jae's has been on it since Krell threw him out.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Right. So I'll ride in cargo mode, in a crate. Everybody just... don't look in the crates.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Which crate?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: A small one. Don't worry about it. Cargo mode is very advanced.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae climbs into the back of the front wagon. Next to a box of brass notary stamps, the construct body folds down and is gone.
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
Baek Jae-hyun: Thirteen stamps, and the lid says twelve. Nobody counts stamps, right? Who counts stamps?
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
At the gate, a clerk in a gray coat opens the stamp box, counts it twice, and tests the thirteenth stamp on his own pass.
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
Baek Jae-hyun: Don't bite, don't bite, don't... okay, I bit it. I bit his paper.
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
The pass comes back with a neat half circle of tooth marks where the seal should be. The clerk holds it up and asks why the stamp has teeth.
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
Marda Kresh: New design. The notaries changed their seal this year. Teeth are very in right now.
[Picture: Notary Stamp]
The clerk looks at the tooth marks, then at Marda's broadsword, and waves the wagons through.
Rin: Marda. What was that?
Marda Kresh: No idea. Rule of the road. When the gate opens, you don't ask the gate why.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Under the first pylon, Jae climbs down out of the front wagon, brushing off his scarf.
Gwen: Where were you? I looked in every crate at the gate. I thought they took you.
Jae: Cargo mode. I was in the small crate.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: There wasn't a small crate.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: That's how small it was.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Marda and I stay up here with the wagons. If you're not back by second bell, I start throwing pastries at people.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The stair runs down inside the pylon for a long time. At the bottom is the archive, a round hall of shelves and drawers that climbs up past the lamps.
Mara: Every debt in the Abyss has a drawer down here. Keep your voices down, and don't touch any loose pages.
Gwen: This is all debt? All of it? That's so many people who skipped the terms.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: And every one of them said thank you when they signed. The G drawers are over there. Find Gwen's and let's go.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen's drawer is empty except for a little card. It says the contract went down to the lower level this morning, as auction lot 44.
Mara: They've already moved it for the auction. It's on the lower level, past the guard post.
Nib Fettle: So it's not gone, it's just further. Further is fine. Further is just walking.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Somebody's coming. Lamp, left side.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A clerk with a lamp and an armful of pages comes down the aisle. Everyone squeezes in behind the shelves, but there's no room back there for a big brass construct.
When the clerk turns the corner, the row has one more filing cabinet in it than it did a second ago.
[Picture: Filing Cabinet]
Baek Jae-hyun: Be a cabinet. Cabinets don't have feelings, cabinets don't... oh, he's opening me.
[Picture: Filing Cabinet]
The clerk pulls out the new cabinet's top drawer and stuffs a thick bundle of pages into it.
[Picture: Filing Cabinet]
Baek Jae-hyun: That tickles. Oh, that really tickles. Somebody's mortgage is in my mouth.
[Picture: Filing Cabinet]
The drawer hiccups. The clerk stares at it, checks his lamp, and walks off a lot faster than he came.
[Picture: Filing Cabinet]
Gwen: Where's Jae? He was right there. And was that cabinet always there?
Nib Fettle: Yes, always. That's a classic cabinet, very old. Look at those handles.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Oh, there you are. Okay, where were you THIS time?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Filing myself. Every construct gets filed. It's a Solara thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: It is a Solara thing! They file everything in Solara. They file the files.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: In every isekai story I know, when the robot keeps vanishing, it's because he's secretly a ninja. Are you a ninja, Jae?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'm not a ninja.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's exactly what a ninja would say.
[Picture: previous speaker]
At the far end of the hall, an iron gate opens onto the stair to the lower level. A Pit Guard with a list sits in front of it, next to an open guardroom.
[Picture: pit guard-front]
Mara: My pass covers three, me, a notary and my clerk. Rin, you're the notary. Nib, you're the clerk.
Rin: I've always wanted to be a notary. I'm going to stamp so many things.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: Tengar and Gwen, coats on, guards only go down behind a Pit Guard. And Jae, no constructs past this gate, not with your plate.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Go. I'll find another way down. I'm good at other ways.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A huge Pit Guard stomps out of the guardroom, buckling on a brand new helmet. There's a thin row of teeth just under its rim.
Baek Jae-hyun: Okay. Mimic Voice, Krell. Deep, grumpy, hates everybody.
Baek Jae-hyun: You. Take the two in the coats down to the lower level. Don't talk to them, don't look at them.
The Pit Guard hears Krell's voice right beside his ear. He doesn't look around for Krell, he just marches, and Tengar and Gwen fall in behind him.
Tengar Dirgefeast: Gwen. That guard's helmet has teeth.
Gwen: Everything in the Abyss has teeth. Don't make eye contact with the hat.
Gwen: Okay. That's three times. Where were you?
Jae: Scouting. From above.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Guard Helmet]
Gwen: Above what?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Guard Helmet]
Jae: ...A head.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Guard Helmet]
Nib Fettle: Lot 44! It's here! Top shelf, with a red wax seal on it.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen pulls her contract down and snaps the seal with her thumb before anyone can stop her.
[Picture: loan-contract]
Gwen: This time I'm reading the terms. All of them. Even the tiny ones at the bottom.
[Picture: loan-contract]
Mara: Gwen, no! You can't open paper down here, the moths...
[Picture: previous speaker]
LEDGER MOTH. Minor. Bred by the Syndicate to guard its archives. Eats any page that isn't sealed. Swarms.
[Picture: stamp-minor]
A soft rustle starts on every shelf at once. Pale moths the size of a hand lift off the pages, their wings covered in black marks like handwriting.
[Picture: ledger moth-front]
[Picture: ledger moth-front]
[Picture: ledger moth-front]
[Picture: ledger moth-front]
[Picture: ledger moth-front]
[Picture: fx-moths]
The swarm pours off the shelves straight at Gwen's open contract. Jae jumps in front of her, and his arm opens out into a wide round shield of brass and wood plates.
Jae: Get behind me! Hold the paper tight, they only want the paper!
Gwen: They're eating the shelf labels, Jae! They're eating other people's debts!
Nib Fettle: Since when can your arm do that?
Jae: Tool attachments! Very advanced! Rin, the vault, go!
Jae's other hand turns into a key and opens the vault's side door. They all fall through and slam it on the moths.
[Picture: fx-moths]
Rin: Ship loans are kept in here with the gold. There, the Lucky Penny. Nobody touches the gold, or the whole bridge locks down.
A Greed Imp counter scurries in with a tray of gold seals and sets it on the counting table. Everyone ducks, and the coin pile next to the tray gets one coin bigger.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: GOLD DETECTED! 9 gold seals. By weight, that's 9 gold. Eat?
[Picture: Gold Coin]
[Picture: gold-seals]
Baek Jae-hyun: Rin said don't touch the gold. But those aren't gold, they're seals, and seals are stationery. Stationery is fine.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Every time the imp looks away, the tray has one seal less on it. The ninth time it turns around, the tray is empty, and it runs out of the vault screeching.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 24. You earned 9 Shop Points. You have 20 Shop Points.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: SHOP! Bite III, 6 Shop Points. Sharper teeth, and more of them. Buy?
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Baek Jae-hyun: More teeth. When would I ever need more teeth? ...Fine, buy it, you never know.
[Picture: Gold Coin]
The System: PURCHASED! Bite III. You have 14 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Gold Coin]
Rin: That imp's gone for help. Did anybody take gold? Anybody?
Jae: Greetings. No.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You just said greetings.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen holds her contract up in the lamp light, grinning. Beside her, Rin holds up the Lucky Penny's loan.
Gwen: Three hundred gold, welcome loan. And look, I signed it with a smiley face. I drew a smiley face on my own debt, Jae.
Rin: The Lucky Penny. Every coin I owe on her, and it's in my hand.
Jae: We did it. We actually did it, man.
Nib Fettle: Best heist ever! Only heist ever. Can we do another one?
At the top of the vault stair, Mara stops and steps to one side. Krell is behind her with his giant iron warhammer on his shoulder, and Pit Guards fill the stair.
[Picture: Krell Fangor smug]
Krell Fangor: Summoned. All of you. Good.
Mara: Sorry. He's holding my contract. You'd do the same.
[Picture: Krell Fangor smug]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: It's always the one you like.
[Picture: Krell Fangor smug]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Chapter 18. Teeth
Teeth — Chapter 18
It's dark by the time the Pit Guards march them up out of the pylon and onto the bridge.
Prue and Marda are already there, backed against the wagons with Pit Guards all around them. Jezra leans on a carriage nearby, eating one of Prue's pastries.
[Picture: Jezra Flamekiss happy]
Jezra Flamekiss: There's my favorite construct. You look terrible. It really suits you.
Prue Tamworth: She took a lemon one without asking. I want that written down somewhere.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Krell Fangor: Papers.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Which papers? We've got a lot of papers. We just robbed an archive.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Krell Fangor: The girl's. Only hers. Master's orders.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: He doesn't care about your boat, Captain. He's curious who comes running to get the girl's paper back.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Mara. How much did we go for?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Mara: My contract. Krell pulled it off the shelf and put it in his coat. You don't know what it's like to be owned.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I literally do! That's the whole reason we're on this bridge!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen hugs the contract to her chest and backs toward the railing. Behind her there's nothing but a long drop into the black canyon.
Gwen: No. I've been owned for a year. I'm not handing it back.
Krell crosses the road in three steps, grabs her by the cloak and lifts her out over the rail.
[Picture: Krell Fangor smug]
[Picture: Gwen afraid]
Krell Fangor: Let go of the paper. Or let go of the bridge.
Gwen: Can I pick neither? I'd really like to pick neither.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar charges with a roar, and four Pit Guards pile onto him at once.
Nib Fettle: Jae! Jae, do something!
The construct body is too slow to reach her, and Krell only has to open his hand. Jae has one move left.
The System: FORM CHANGE! Door. Size II. Bite III. Change?
[Picture: form-door]
Jae: Gwen, whatever you see next... I'm sorry. Change.
Jae's construct body splits down the middle and unfolds into a huge door of dark wood and brass. Rows of jagged teeth run down both edges, and a long purple tongue rolls out.
The door bites down on Krell's arm. Krell howls and opens his hand, and the tongue shoots over the rail, wraps around Gwen's waist, and pulls her back onto the bridge.
Krell Fangor: What ARE you?
Baek Jae-hyun: Hands off my friends.
Gwen: Jae?
Krell rips his arm free, snatches Gwen's contract off the stones where she dropped it, and runs, with his guards pounding after him.
Mara: So that's what you are. I told you I didn't care, and I still don't. I'm sorry, Jae.
Mara follows Krell into the dark without looking back.
Jezra Flamekiss: Oh, he has TEETH. Xylos is going to be unbearable. Call me sometime, door.
Then Jezra is gone too, and the bridge goes quiet. The door with teeth sets Gwen down gently on the stones and pulls its tongue back in.
[Picture: Door]
Rin: Those teeth. I know those teeth.
[Picture: Door]
Rin: The chest. YOU'RE THE CHEST.
[Picture: Door]
Tengar Dirgefeast: I KNEW it was cursed! I said! I said it every single day!
[Picture: Door]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: Hold on. Teeth, blue glow... my measuring cup said thanks. I KNEW that cup liked my soup!
[Picture: Door]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Whatever you are, I said. I meant it. I just pictured a lot fewer teeth.
[Picture: Door]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib doesn't say anything. He picks Jae's blue scarf up off the stones and holds it.
[Picture: Nib Fettle sad]
Gwen: Jae? Are you... in there?
[Picture: Door]
Baek Jae-hyun: Yeah. It's me. It's always been me.
[Picture: Door]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen takes one step back from him. The door folds back up into the clunky construct.
Jae: Let's get off the bridge. I'll tell you everything. I promise, everything.
The bonded warehouse is dark and cold. Nobody sits down.
Jae: It's easier if I show you.
The construct body folds down, and in its place sits an old wooden chest with iron bands. Rin knows it the second she sees it.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Then a see-through blue man sits up on the chest's lid. It's the first time any of them have seen his real face.
Baek Jae-hyun: My name's Baek Jae-hyun. I'm twenty-eight. I was a bank teller in Seoul, at a little branch in Mapo, for five years.
Baek Jae-hyun: At closing time, a truck came through the front window. That's it. Then I woke up as a wooden cup on Rin's desk.
Baek Jae-hyun: Kavrix couldn't find my body, so it put me in the closest thing. I eat gold, and every coin makes me grow. There's a System window only I can see, and it sells me upgrades.
Baek Jae-hyun: Gwen told me what happens to Failed Summons on my first day. So I lied to all of you, every day. I'm sorry.
Nib Fettle: I knew. You don't tick.
Everyone turns to look at Nib.
Nib Fettle: Since the crusher. I saw inside you when I pulled you out. No gears, just dark and teeth.
Baek Jae-hyun: You never said anything.
Nib Fettle: You never asked me to. And you paid for my arm. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready.
Rin: That's the chest from my ship. They took my SHIP for that chest, Jae.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: I know. I ate eight of your coins, just eight. I swear I don't know where the rest went, crabs probably.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: And your lucky coin. That was me too.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
Rin: My LUCKY coin? I blamed Tengar for that!
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: She did! For two months! She made me turn out my boots!
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: You were my cup. I drank rum out of you.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: Yeah. A lot of rum. You never rinsed me.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: And the wash basin at the inn. And your COUSIN. I hung my coat on you!
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: I don't have a cousin. And you didn't wash your face in me! You almost did, and that's very different.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: I threw you in the sea, and you had it coming. ...You bit Krell, though. That was good.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: I poured out a whole bottle of good sherry because of you, you little menace. Was the spoon you too?
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: The spoon, the boot and the cutlery drawer. Sorry about the drawer, Prue.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: I rode you halfway across the grasslands. I thought the saddle was a feature.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: It was a feature. I was a very good saddle. I'm going to stop talking.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen hasn't said a word. She's standing by the door with her arms folded.
Gwen: The mine cart, the hut door, the wardrobe. Cargo mode, construct radio, self-cleaning cycle, low power mode.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Gwen: I guessed cursed prince. I guessed time traveler, war machine, ninja. You were a CUP, Jae.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Gwen: I told you everything. My mom's cooking, the parking lot, the loan. On that roof, I told you the one thing I can't take is being lied to.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: I know. Every day I was going to tell you tomorrow.
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: One more thing. Xylos knows what I am, and he offered to wipe your debt if I sign myself over to his vault for life.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Gwen: You were going to sell yourself for my debt and not tell me?
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: I was going to think about it.
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: That's WORSE!
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You lied to me. Every day.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Gwen walks out. The warehouse door bangs shut behind her.
Rin: Don't look at me. I'm still deciding whether to throw you in the sea myself.
[Picture: Old Chest]
A Greed Imp squeezes in through a high window, drops a letter with a gold seal on the chest's lid, and scrambles back out.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Dear Jae. Your girl walked out into my street alone, so I've borrowed her. Don't worry, she's complaining a lot.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: The Jackpot Hall, tonight. Bring yourself. Just yourself, please, your friends are very loud.
Nib Fettle: Jae, don't go alone. That's the one thing you can't do.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae stands back up in his construct body, and Nib hands him his blue scarf.
Jae: The note says bring yourself. It's me he wants. It's always been me.
Jae: Nib. Thanks for never saying anything.
Nib Fettle: Come back, and I'll say lots of things.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae walks out into the night toward the Palace, alone. Nobody stops him.
Chapter 19. Jackpot
Jackpot — Chapter 19
The Jackpot Hall is the heart of the Infernal Palace, a round crimson floor under tiers of balconies. Every balcony is full, and everyone on them is watching the door.
[Picture: fx-glitter]
Xylos sits at the gold table in the middle. Jezra lounges beside him, Krell stands behind him with his arm in bandages, and Gwen hangs to one side in a cage of gold bars.
[Picture: Gwen afraid]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Jae, or should I say Baek Jae-hyun? You came alone. I'm touched. Nobody ever does what the letter says.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
Jae: Let her go.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Straight to business. You really were a bank teller.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: GOLD SENSE! Cage, 0 gold. Gold paint on iron.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: cage]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: I know what you eat, dear. I had it painted this afternoon.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
Gwen: Don't do anything stupid for me. I'm still really mad at you.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I know. You can be mad at me from outside the cage.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: You have teeth. You have a TONGUE. I've never recruited a door before, Jae, I'm so excited.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: You bit Krell, and he's been sulking all day. It's very good for him.
[Picture: Gwen angry]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The doors at the end of the hall bang open. Nib walks in with his goggles down, and Harold, Mabel and Gerald march in behind him.
Nib Fettle: You're my best robot. Best mimic. Best whatever you are. I'm not leaving.
Rin comes in behind him with her hand on her dirk.
Rin: You owe me eight gold. I'm collecting. And I can't collect if you belong to him.
Tengar Dirgefeast: I threw you in the sea once. Nobody else gets to throw you anywhere.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue Tamworth: I brought lunch and a frying pan. Guess which one's for the demon.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: My company's outside. Forty swords. They can't come in, but they look very good through the window.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae's visor flickers. For a second he doesn't trust his voice.
Jae: You guys are so stupid. Thank you.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: How lovely. I adore an audience. Shall we play?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: One roll each of the Palace die, twelve sides. I roll first, then you. Beat my number, and you win the girl's contract and the Jackpot.
Jae: And if I lose?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Then you're mine, my vault mimic forever. Ties go to the house, of course. Everything goes to the house.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Jae, it's his die, his table and his hall. Don't.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: It's my life. I get to bet it. Deal.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A Contract Lord in gray robes lays out the contract, written, stamped and witnessed. This time Jae signs it Baek Jae-hyun, Mimic, and the ink doesn't move at all.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Look at that. An honest signature. You're growing up.
Xylos drops a huge twelve-sided brass die into the gold channel. It tumbles and clatters and comes to rest on eleven.
[Picture: palace-die]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Eleven. Oh, dear. You need a twelve.
[Picture: palace-die]
Jae: One in twelve. I used to check loans for a living. One in twelve is a no.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: palace-die]
The System: STARTER GIFT! Your life is on the line.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: Beginner's Luck. When your life is on the line, increase your luck by 100%. One time use.
[Picture: beginners-luck]
The System: Activate?
[Picture: beginners-luck]
Jae: ...I forgot I had this.
Jae: A hundred percent more luck on one in twelve. That's one in six. That's still a terrible bet, man.
Gwen: Jae. Whatever you're doing in there... just roll the stupid die, cup.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Activate.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The System: ACTIVATED! Good luck.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The huge brass die tumbles down the gold channel while the whole hall holds its breath. It spins on one corner for a long time, and falls on twelve.
Tengar Dirgefeast: TWELVE! It's a TWELVE!
Prue Tamworth: Ha! Put that in your ledger, you smug candlestick!
Three Contract Lords check the die, the table and Jae for chance magic. They find nothing, because the System isn't magic anyone in Kavrix can find.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Was that luck?
Jae: Beginner's.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos holds Gwen's contract over a candle and burns it himself. The cage clicks open.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Paid in full. And the Jackpot is yours too, Jae. If you can collect it.
JACKPOT GOLEM. Deadly. The Palace jackpot. Thousands of gold coins bound by contract. The prize and the guard at once.
[Picture: stamp-deadly]
On the pedestal at the back of the hall, a golem three meters tall stands up. It's built from thousands of gold coins, with a glowing red contract seal on its chest where a heart should be.
[Picture: jackpot golem-front]
The System: GOLD DETECTED! Jackpot Golem. Real gold, 70. Gold paint on copper, all the rest.
[Picture: jackpot-golem]
Jae: Seventy? It's made of thousands of coins!
Xylos, the Demon Lord: It's a casino jackpot, dear. Of course most of it is fake.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The golem swings, and Jae flies across the floor and slams into a pillar.
[Picture: jackpot golem-side]
Gwen: Jae! You eat gold! So EAT it!
Jae's chest hatch opens far wider than his body should allow, full of teeth, and he bites the golem in half. Coins pour into his mouth by the hundreds, and the painted ones bounce off his teeth.
Jae: Five years I counted other people's money. Now I'm counting yours.
The System: LEVEL UP! You are now Level 25. Level 26. Level 27.
[Picture: fx-coins]
The System: LEVEL UP! Level 30. Bonus 5 Shop Points.
[Picture: fx-coins]
The System: LEVEL UP! Level 35.
[Picture: fx-coins]
The System: LEVEL UP! Level 40. Bonus 5 Shop Points.
[Picture: fx-coins]
[Picture: level-40]
With every level, the blue glow in Jae's seams gets brighter, until it's almost white.
[Picture: fx-coins]
The System: JACKPOT! You ate 70 gold, 68 used and 2 left over. You earned 58 Shop Points. You have 72 Shop Points.
[Picture: fx-coins]
[Picture: jackpot]
Jae: Seventy-two points. I've never had seventy-two of anything.
[Picture: fx-coins]
Krell Fangor: Master! It ATE the Jackpot!
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: He won it, Krell. There's a difference. Although I never said you couldn't try to take it back.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Krell charges with his warhammer raised, and a line of Pit Guards comes in behind him.
[Picture: Krell Fangor angry]
The System: SHOP! Size III, Cart, 15 Shop Points. Size IV, Giant, 25 Shop Points. Size V, House, locked, requires Level 50.
[Picture: size-3-4]
Jae: Both! Buy both! Right now, please, there's a hammer coming at my face!
The System: PURCHASED! Size III and Size IV. You have 32 Shop Points left.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae grows. The construct body stretches up plank by plank until his head is up among the chandeliers, three times as tall as anyone in the hall.
Jae: Ow. Chandelier. Sorry. Is that gold? ...It's not gold. Nothing in here is gold.
Jae scoops up Krell and two Pit Guards in his huge hands and throws them through the round door in the far wall, into the Palace's counting vault.
Then he grabs the vault door with both hands and bends it shut, folding the steel into its frame so it will never open from the inside.
Krell Fangor: Let me OUT!
Jae: Sorry. The vault's closed. Come back during business hours.
Xylos stands up and applauds, slow and delighted.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Bravo. The house always pays. It also always collects.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Walk out, all of you, I keep my word to the letter. Captain, keep the paper in your coat, and call it part of the Jackpot.
Rin: You're letting us go? Just like that?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Xylos, the Demon Lord: For now. I do love a long game. Leave Krell, he could use the quiet.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jezra Flamekiss: Bye, big boy. Stay big.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae shrinks back down to his ordinary clunky size. Gwen walks up to him.
Gwen: I'm still mad at you.
Jae: I know.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: You bet your whole life on a die. For me.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: One in six odds. Terrible bet. I'd never approve that loan.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen laughs. She stands on her toes and kisses his metal cheek, his visor flares bright blue, and with a pop there's a wooden cup in her hands.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Gwen: You're still an idiot. And you're a cup.
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Baek Jae-hyun: Emergency storage mode. It's a feature.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: Wooden Cup]
Chapter 20. Every Debt Comes Due
Every Debt Comes Due — Chapter 20
Dawn at Gravetide. A clerk from the bonded dock unlocks the chain on the Lucky Penny, stamps a paper for Rin, and wanders off yawning.
Rin: She's mine. Actually mine. No loan, no Syndicate, nobody counting her.
Prue Tamworth: And the noodle cart comes too, it's family now. Tengar, lift with your knees.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: I always lift with my knees! ...Where do the knees go on a cart?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Prue's noodle cart goes up the gangplank one bump at a time, with Tengar swearing under it.
Marda Kresh: My company takes the desert road home. Anyone who needs a caravan knows where to find me.
Jae: Thanks, Marda. For everything. And for the... saddle thing.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Marda Kresh: Never speak of the saddle again.
[Picture: previous speaker]
On the ship's rail, someone has left a single playing card. On the back, in neat handwriting, it says "You wouldn't have done the same. That's the difference. Sorry. M."
[Picture: playing-card-note]
Gwen: Mara.
[Picture: playing-card-note]
Jae: I hope she gets her paper back someday.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: playing-card-note]
Gwen: You're way too nice. It's a real problem.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: playing-card-note]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Chest. Come here.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Why?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Just be the chest.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae turns into the old wooden chest with the iron bands. Tengar picks it up and hugs it as hard as he can.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Tengar Dirgefeast: Sorry I threw you in the sea. You're a good chest.
[Picture: Old Chest]
Baek Jae-hyun: Ribs. I don't have ribs, but those are my ribs.
[Picture: Old Chest]
[Picture: previous speaker]
The Lucky Penny sails out of Gravetide with full sails and the whole crew on deck.
Prue sets a big pot of soup on the deck table, and nobody is allowed to say no to it.
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Prue Tamworth: Soup. Everybody. I don't care if you can't taste it, Jae, you're having soup.
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Jae: I pour it in my hatch. It's the thought that counts.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Nib Fettle: Best soup I've ever had, and I've had soup twice already today.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: soup-bowl]
Rin: Hey, cup. How's it feel to be back on the ship you cost me?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Honestly? Like I should pay for my own soup.
[Picture: previous speaker]
The whole crew raises their drinks in the dawn light. Prue raises her wooden measuring cup, and it's glowing a happy blue.
Prue Tamworth: To the Lucky Penny. To the crew. And to my cup, who liked my soup all along.
Rin: To the cup.
Rin takes the cup from Prue and drinks from it. The cup burps.
Rin: Did my cup just burp?
Baek Jae-hyun: Excuse me. Rum goes straight to my handle.
Gwen: You drank out of him, Rin. Knowing what he is.
Rin: I've drunk out of worse. Most of them were Tengar's boots.
[Picture: previous speaker]
A week later, the Gearhaven Guild hall is as loud as ever. Wick waits behind the clerk's counter with two new tags.
[Picture: rank-d]
Wick Fernsby: Mr. Jae, Miss Gwen. The Guild is very pleased to promote you both to D-Rank.
[Picture: rank-d]
Gwen: D-Rank? We robbed an archive. Are we sure that counts as a plus?
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: rank-d]
Wick Fernsby: The Guild has no record of any archive. The Guild has a record of a very good escort job for Captain Kresh.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: rank-d]
Jae: Thanks, Wick. Seriously.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: rank-d]
The whole hall cheers, and the little Scrap Automatons that follow Jae everywhere climb onto a table to cheer too.
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
[Picture: scrap automaton-front]
Wick Fernsby: Now, a small party. Mr. Jae, would you help me tap the keg?
Jae is so excited that his hand turns into a brass tap before he even touches the keg.
Wick Fernsby: Mr. Jae. Your hand appears to be a tap.
Jae: Beverage attachment. Standard on all D-Rank models.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wick Fernsby: How modern. Does it do chamomile?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin walks over to the job board and rips down her old poster. WANTED. A WOODEN CHEST WITH TEETH. IT ATE MY GOLD. REWARD.
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Wick Fernsby: Oh, Captain. Did you ever find your chest?
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Rin: Closer than I thought. It's retired.
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: wanted-chest]
Rin: You still owe me eight gold, by the way.
Jae: Put it on my tab.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Rin: Jae. You ARE a tab.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Wick hands Jae an envelope from Zenith City. Inside is one neatly filed form.
[Picture: osric-letter]
Osric: Form 12, change of rank. Filed, approved and stamped.
[Picture: osric-letter]
Osric: Personal note. Congratulations. Still don't hum.
[Picture: osric-letter]
Nib Fettle: Jae! Jae! Tilly Two made the Gearhaven registry, little hat and all! It's official!
[Picture: previous speaker]
[Picture: clockwork-bird]
Nib Fettle: It says Nib Fettle, inventor. In the actual book. I'm sending my mom the page.
[Picture: clockwork-bird]
Jae: Nib, that's amazing! What number?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Nib Fettle: J-1004-2292. I asked for the one right after yours.
[Picture: previous speaker]
For a second Jae doesn't say anything. Then he picks Nib up and hugs him until his goggles fog.
Jae: You're my best goblin, you know that?
Nib Fettle: I'm your only goblin.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: Still counts.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Sunset over Gearhaven. Jae and Gwen sit on a rooftop ledge, watching the factory smoke turn pink.
Gwen: So what did you look like? Before?
Jae: Honestly? Pretty boring.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Show me. You owe me that much.
[Picture: previous speaker]
For a moment the blue spirit shows over his shoulders, a tired man in a white shirt and a loosened tie, with a name badge that has no name on it.
Gwen: You were a bank teller? That's so boring. I love it.
Baek Jae-hyun: Five years at a branch in Mapo. I counted other people's money all day and ate convenience store kimbap for dinner.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Do you miss it?
[Picture: previous speaker]
Baek Jae-hyun: I miss my mom. She's in Daegu. I hope somebody told her I was a good teller.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: I miss my mom's cooking. Every single day.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Why's your badge blank?
Baek Jae-hyun: It fell off on my first day, and I never asked for a new one. Five years, and nobody noticed.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen: Well, now it says Jae. D-Rank. Mimic. Idiot.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Jae: I'll get it engraved.
[Picture: previous speaker]
Gwen leans her head on his shoulder, the way she did on the roof in Gravetide. This time he isn't hiding anything.
Far away in the Infernal Palace, Xylos sits at his desk and writes in a huge ledger.
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Baek Jae-hyun. Balance owed, everything.
Behind him, Jezra pins up a fresh poster. WANTED. A CONSTRUCT WITH TEETH.
Jezra Flamekiss: Do you want it bigger?
Xylos, the Demon Lord: Bigger, Jezra. He's grown.
Back on the rooftop, a glowing window opens in front of Jae, the same way it did on his first night on Rin's desk.
The System: STATUS! Level 40. Next level, 10 gold. You have 2 gold.
[Picture: status-final]
The System: NEW TAB UNLOCKED! Evolution.
[Picture: status-final]
The System: LOCKED! Requirements ???
[Picture: evolution-locked]
Jae: ...Seriously?
[Picture: evolution-locked]