Another Man's Hands

Another Man's Hands — The Linden Rooms · Arrival morning

I woke with my cheek against a book and a chair pressing into the backs of my legs. Someone had opened the courtyard door. A cool draft lifted a sheet of paper beside my elbow.

The hand resting on that paper was gray. Fine black marks crossed the knuckles and continued beneath an embroidered cuff. I turned it over, then opened the other hand. Both moved when I told them to.

Yesterday I had answered emails in an office. Last night I had eaten at my computer, meaning to wash the plate before bed. I remembered leaving it there. I could not remember coming to this library.

I stood too quickly. My knees knocked the underside of the table, and a cup rolled toward the edge. I caught it. The cup looked absurdly small in my fingers.

Dominick Kaelath: Okay. That hurt. That's usually supposed to wake you up.

The voice was deep enough that I checked behind me. Empty chairs, bookshelves, a cabinet. In the glass of its upper doors, a large man with silver-gray hair turned when I did.

I moved closer. Crimson eyes. Ashen skin. Pointed ears half hidden beneath hair that reached down my back. I pulled my collar aside and found more black marks over a chest I had never had.

I tried closing my eyes and opening them again. Nothing changed. There was no little corner of my vision showing a health bar, no instruction waiting for me to select it. The cup still needed putting down.

Marlux Rathorn: Your Majesty? I knocked. When you did not answer, I thought you might still be asleep. Why are you standing over there without your boots?

The man in the doorway had silvery-white hair, blue eyes, and a charcoal coat embroidered at the collar. His black gloves were folded over one hand. I knew his face before I remembered his name.

Dominick Kaelath: Marlux?

Marlux Rathorn: Yes. Sit down, please. You look unwell. Did you eat anything after I left you last night?

Marlux Rathorn. I had watched Orion fight him on a screen. I had replayed scenes for different answers and complained when he refused the one I wanted. Here he was carrying a breakfast tray.

I looked from Marlux to the cabinet glass. Dominick Kaelath. We shared a first name. The face in the glass was his. In the ending I remembered, Orion put a sword through him.

Dominick Kaelath: I need you to keep something private. Just for a little while. I think I've lost part of my memory.

I hadn't worked out how to keep the lie going. I knew who I was. I didn't know whether Marlux would help me or have me killed if I told him.

Marlux Rathorn: What part? Your arrival here? The journey? Tell me what you remember. If you don't know, say so.

Dominick Kaelath: I know my name. I know yours. I know how to read those books, I think. But the room, what we're doing here... I don't remember arriving.

Marlux set the tray down crookedly and caught a saucer before it tipped. Seeing him fumble made me more afraid to tell him the truth.

Marlux Rathorn: Any pain? Trouble seeing? Can you move both arms? I would like a healer to examine you. You may dislike that, but I cannot work with you falling over the furniture.

Dominick Kaelath: Will they need to know everything? Could you say I woke up confused? That's true. I'd rather there weren't people coming through the door to look at me all morning.

Marlux Rathorn: One examination, in private. I shall tell the delegation that you are resting. If you become worse, I will ask for more help. I will not promise to conceal an illness that might kill you.

I nodded. He pulled out a chair instead of taking my arm. Once I sat, he put the cup within reach and left the door open while he went to find someone.

The healer who came to the library with him checked my eyes, my pulse, and the movement of my hands. I answered questions by nodding and shaking my head.

She left a sheet of instructions beside the breakfast tray. Marlux read it twice. I watched the door in case she returned with guards.

Eat. Rest. Send for the healer if the confusion grows worse.

Marlux Rathorn: She found no obvious injury. That does not explain what happened. I shall keep the afternoon clear. For now, tell me what you need to know first.

Dominick Kaelath: Where are we? I mean the city. I don't recognise this place.

Marlux Rathorn: Peripeteia. This is The Linden Rooms, on Crossroads Row. You arrived last night and chose to work in the library. I suggested your bed. Evidently I should have insisted.

I had expected a castle outside the window. Beyond the little courtyard I could see roofs, a hanging shop sign, and a man struggling to turn a loaded handcart. I did not recognise the street.

Dominick Kaelath: And I'm here as... what? You called me Majesty. Am I supposed to be ruling this place? Please tell me there's someone else doing that.

Marlux Rathorn: You are here as an envoy. You recently left direct rule in Kaelath. The delegation still uses your old title. Peripeteia has its own government, and this townhouse has its own very persistent manager.

Dominick Kaelath: Good. I mean, good about the city. I can't judge the manager yet. What did we come here to do?

Marlux Rathorn: Negotiate supplies and passage. Rebuild a few relationships that war damaged. Find people willing to deal with us. Some will hear you because of your name. Others have refused for precisely the same reason.

I had selected campaigns from a menu after work. Marlux had lived through the war. Dust marked the hem of his coat, and the handle of his document case was worn.

Dominick Kaelath: Then I need you to explain things before I agree to them. Even if you think I ought to know already. Especially then, probably.

Marlux Rathorn: I can explain them. I cannot answer every question in your place. We shall also need to decide what I say when someone notices you have forgotten a promise you made yesterday.

I wanted to tell him I hadn't made those promises. The original Dominick might still be inside this body, listening. He might be in my apartment. I had no way to check.

Dominick Kaelath: Could we start with today? Just enough to get through today. If I think further than that, I keep getting stuck.

Marlux Rathorn: All right. Your suite is upstairs. My room is across the landing for this visit. The ground floor is shared. The library booking ends before supper, and other guests expect to use it.

He pointed out the reception desk through the door. An older employee was replacing flowers in a vase. She glanced at us, then returned to cutting a bent stem. Apparently I was not her morning's main difficulty.

Dominick Kaelath: You said my suite. I should probably collect my boots before somebody else books the library. Where did I put them?

Marlux Rathorn: Under the chair. Both of them. There has been no attempt to separate you from your footwear.

Bending down brought half my hair across my face and into the butter. I stopped with one boot in my hand. Marlux reached toward me, stopped, and took a clean cloth from the tray.

Marlux Rathorn: May I? There is quite a lot of it. Hair, I mean. The butter is limited.

Dominick Kaelath: Please. Unless this is some important royal custom, in which case I would like to abolish it immediately.

He made a brief, surprised sound through his nose. I laughed too. While he wiped the ends, I sat very still. I could smell clean wool from his sleeve and the tea cooling beside us.

Marlux Rathorn: You have complained about this hair before. You usually blame the person who ties it. Hold it here while I find a ribbon.

He placed the loose length in my hand. When he returned, he showed me how to tie it back instead of doing it for me. I needed two tries, and he corrected the second knot.

Dominick Kaelath: Thank you. For that, and for the rest. I know this probably isn't what you expected to spend your morning doing.

Marlux Rathorn: No. You do not usually thank me quite so often, either. Are you remembering anything more?

I shook my head. His fingers stopped against the breakfast tray. We'd been laughing a moment ago. Now I was afraid the next thing I said would give me away.

Dominick Kaelath: Do I always call you Marlux? Or is there a title I ought to be using? I'd prefer to get at least one name right today.

Marlux Rathorn: Marlux is right. You have used it for years. In private, please let me finish speaking before you decide what I am going to say.

Dominick Kaelath: That sounds reasonable. You can remind me if I do it. Preferably before I've interrupted you three times and made us both want to leave.

He studied me for a moment before opening his case. I wondered what the old Dominick had said when corrected. I knew his speeches from the game. None told me how he spoke over breakfast.

Marlux Rathorn: There is one thing that cannot wait until you feel better. Our account with a supplier needs attention. I have held the papers back because the figures do not agree.

He laid two sheets beside the plate. A heavy seal marked the first. The second listed ordinary quantities of flour, bread, and oil. At least I could understand why somebody wanted to be paid.

Dominick Kaelath: Then I shouldn't sign it yet. Could you put the disputed lines beside each other? I can read them while I eat. Slowly, if that's all right.

Marlux Rathorn: It is. I had intended to do exactly that. We can visit the supplier tomorrow if you are well enough. Today I want you to learn what the existing order actually says.

I pulled the papers closer. My old job had involved checking numbers other people had already checked badly. It was a small, familiar task. I had never been so relieved to find an invoice.

Dominick Kaelath: Would you stay for breakfast? You brought enough for two, unless this body needs a truly alarming amount of toast. You could eat while I ask the obvious questions.

Marlux Rathorn: I brought enough for two. Move your cup away from the papers, and you may begin with whichever obvious question is troubling you most.

He sat opposite me. I moved the cup, broke a piece of toast, and read the first line aloud. I still wanted my apartment back. For this morning, I would learn whose money I was holding up.

Beyond the Front Door

Beyond the Front Door — Crossroads Row · The next morning

By the next morning I could put my boots on without catching my hair in them. Marlux inspected the ribbon, handed me a coat, and waited while I worked out which fastening went first.

Dominick Kaelath: Is the cape compulsory? I nearly shut it in the door upstairs. I would rather people didn't remember me for having to be freed from a door.

Marlux Rathorn: You may leave it. This is a visit to a supplier. There will be ample opportunity to look impressive when you understand where your elbows are.

Two members of the delegation waited by reception. Marlux sent them ahead with the papers. Outside, I turned sideways to let a woman carrying a basket pass. She brushed my sleeve and kept walking.

A human man held a cart steady while an older demon woman retied its load. Farther along, a horned customer argued over a length of fabric by pointing at a damaged edge. I could not hear the seller's answer.

The man wiped rainwater from the woman's coat. She pushed his hand away, grinning, and finished the knot herself. They climbed onto the cart together. I watched them longer than I meant to.

In the game, I had spent whole evenings fighting demons. I had never seen them load a cart together or make each other laugh.

Marlux Rathorn: You are staring. If you recognise someone, tell me. If you are merely surprised to see them carrying on with their morning, try to be less obvious.

Dominick Kaelath: Sorry. It's crowded. I keep expecting people to move aside when they see me, and then feeling awful when somebody actually does. Do I look that frightening?

Marlux Rathorn: You are very large and dressed expensively. A few will know your name. Most are avoiding a collision. Step closer to me; you are standing in the way of that cart.

I moved. Its driver lifted two fingers in thanks without stopping. Marlux took my elbow just long enough to guide me past a broken paving stone, then let go.

Dominick Kaelath: Did you know the city before we came here? You walked out without looking at a map. Yesterday I managed to turn toward the kitchen when I wanted the stairs.

Marlux Rathorn: I have visited for years. I know people here. I also read the little signs beside doors, which may be worth considering when you next require the stairs.

Dominick Kaelath: That was one mistake. You're enjoying this. Are all your friends here this merciless?

Marlux Rathorn: Some are considerably worse. You need not be introduced to them while you are still struggling with your own clothes.

The bakery had its front windows open. Heat from the ovens reached the pavement, along with the smell of browning bread. Behind the counter, a gray-haired woman rubbed flour from her wrists before taking our papers.

She read them without inviting us farther inside. One of our delegates began pointing at the seal. Marlux held out a hand for the papers and dismissed him with a firm motion toward the street.

Dominick Kaelath: What was he trying to explain? She looked angry before we even arrived. Is that because of the bill, or is there something else I should know?

Marlux Rathorn: The agent called the order a requisition. Now he wants to pay only part of it and call the rest her contribution to our visit. She offered no such thing.

Dominick Kaelath: Her contribution? She already supplied the food. Why should she pay for our breakfast too?

Marlux Rathorn: The form came from Kaelath. It gives him a seal to point at while he delays paying a merchant here. She wants her money, and I want this ended.

The woman opened a ledger and tapped two entries. Her thumb was wrapped in a clean strip of cloth. Behind her, another worker kept kneading dough while watching us across the counter.

Dominick Kaelath: Then we pay what she asked. All of it. That should be the easy part. What are we doing standing here debating whether she deserves her money?

Marlux Rathorn: We are checking what was delivered. The flour and the bread are listed on the same day. I asked him for the original receipts. He has avoided giving them to me.

I had raised my voice. The worker stopped kneading. Marlux placed the two pages in front of me, and I felt the familiar embarrassment of answering before I had read the whole email.

Dominick Kaelath: Right. Sorry. I thought you were trying to reduce the payment. Could you show me the first delivery again?

Marlux Rathorn: Flour for the townhouse kitchen. Bread the next morning. Different deliveries. He copied the dates incorrectly. There is nothing wrong with her bill.

The woman set down the receipts. I wondered how many times she had already explained those dates.

Marlux Rathorn: We can pay from the delegation's money if you agree to reduce next week's reception. The wine has not been ordered yet. I brought the list so you could choose.

He put the list down beside the ledger. Kaelath's name was beneath the original order. I almost said I hadn't signed it, then saw the woman looking at me.

Marlux Rathorn: And the private breakfast trays can stop. Everyone can eat downstairs. Between that and the wine, we have enough.

Dominick Kaelath: Do that. I can come downstairs too. If anyone complains, send them to me. Please pay her before we leave.

I read and signed the change. Marlux counted the money onto the counter. The woman counted it again, then wrote our receipt.

She returned the cancelled requisition, accepted an ordinary order for tomorrow's bread, and went back to the oven. We stepped outside.

We stopped beside a stall selling warm rolls. I bought two with coins Marlux sorted into my palm. The seller's worn apron was dusted white, and there was a dark burn across the back of his hand.

Dominick Kaelath: I thought she'd be pleased with me for paying. As if I were doing her a favour. She had already earned it.

Marlux Rathorn: She has work to do. You paid her. Let her get on with it.

Dominick Kaelath: You could have said that more gently. I know you were right about the figures. I haven't stopped feeling stupid about missing them yet.

Marlux Rathorn: I disliked being accused of cheating her. Yes, I know you did not use those words. I was annoyed. Give me the roll before you crush it completely.

I gave him the less crushed roll. We ate standing beside the stall while a delivery wagon passed. For several minutes neither of us needed to explain anything, which made the bread easier to enjoy.

Dominick Kaelath: You don't have to keep watching me eat. I managed breakfast before we left. Unless there's something about being an incubus that makes this much more complicated than I expect.

Marlux Rathorn: There is nothing wrong with your stomach. I am watching because yesterday you looked ready to faint, and today you have decided to quarrel with half your own staff. Eat the other piece.

I used to eat alone beside my computer. I wanted that familiar desk back badly enough that I sometimes imagined opening my apartment door. I also wanted Marlux to stay beside me while I finished this roll.

Beyond the Front Door — The Linden Rooms · Early afternoon

Back in the library, Marlux removed his gloves. A seam had come loose beside one thumb. He set them next to the ledger, carefully enough that I wondered whether they were expensive or simply favourites.

Dominick Kaelath: Can somebody repair those? You kept rubbing that thumb on the walk back. If you need to go out again, I can read for a while without creating a crisis.

Marlux Rathorn: I mend them myself. The repair will take ten minutes. And I was going out regardless. I have an appointment that does not concern the delegation.

I looked up. I didn't want him to go. I had barely thought about what he did when he wasn't helping me.

Dominick Kaelath: Of course. I didn't mean you needed permission. I was trying to offer something useful and somehow made it sound like you worked inside my pocket.

Marlux Rathorn: It would be an inconvenient pocket. I should insist on a window. I will be back before supper. The staff know how to reach me if there is an actual emergency.

Dominick Kaelath: Before you go, can I ask something that isn't an emergency? When you tell me what to do in front of people, do they think I can't manage without you?

Marlux Rathorn: Sometimes. Sometimes they think you chose an adviser who knows the answer. Do you want me to stop intervening?

Dominick Kaelath: I want a chance to answer. Even if I take longer. Today I started a fight because I didn't understand, and then you explained everything while I stood there. I hated needing that.

Marlux Rathorn: I cannot always wait while someone persuades you to agree to a bad idea. But I can give you a chance to ask me yourself. You will have to ask before you have already agreed.

I nodded, though I still hated having to ask. I turned the supplier's receipt toward me. My signature looked too large beneath the tidy figures. I had pressed hard enough to mark the sheet below.

Dominick Kaelath: I liked being useful today. Even for something small. That's true, if you're still wondering whether to believe me.

Marlux Rathorn: I am wondering. You remembered the shape of a signature and forgot how to fasten your coat. You ask questions you once disliked hearing. I don't know what to make of that.

I could have told him then. The door was shut. He was sitting within reach. Instead I looked at the loose thread beside his glove and tried to find a true sentence that would keep the rest hidden.

Dominick Kaelath: I'm frightened most of the time. I don't like admitting it, because I think you'll decide I can't do anything. But I was frightened today, and I still wanted to go.

Marlux Rathorn: I know you were. You nearly walked into the same cart twice. Finish reading this page before I return. If you dislike what it says, mark it. You need not solve everything before supper.

He took his gloves and left. I listened until his footsteps reached the stairs, then began reading. By the time he returned, I wanted to show him my questions almost as much as I wanted him to stay.

Six Weeks of Practice

Six Weeks of Practice — The Linden Rooms · End of the first week

After my first week, I answered a question before looking at Marlux. It concerned breakfast expenses. I'd checked the figures myself.

Dominick Kaelath: The separate trays stay cancelled. Nobody is being denied food. They can eat downstairs with the rest of us. If that changes, bring me the bill before you promise anything.

The delegate accepted the answer and went out. I waited until his footsteps had faded before looking at Marlux. He was sorting the papers without correcting anything I had said.

Dominick Kaelath: Was that all right? I practised while I was getting dressed. I sounded less annoyed upstairs, but I was alone then, so there was nobody to disagree with me.

Marlux Rathorn: It was clear. He did disagree with you; you heard him and answered. You need not persuade him to enjoy walking down a staircase. Sign here, and we can both stop working.

That night I searched a borrowed book for anything about displaced minds. It described three explanations that did not fit what I remembered. I shut it and tried to remember the colour of my apartment's front door.

I still knew the colour and my computer's password. Those useless details were comforting. Before sleeping, I wrote the next morning's breakfast time beside a question I had not asked Marlux: could I ever go back?

Six Weeks of Practice — Crossroads Row · The third week

In the third week, a cart owner came to collect an overdue payment. His bill had been waiting for my signature for two days. He carried a notice saying he had lost that morning's hire because he could not pay for a repair.

Dominick Kaelath: I put it underneath the other papers. I was going to check it again, and then someone brought another problem. I thought one more day wouldn't matter.

Marlux Rathorn: He wrote that it mattered. Here. You circled the sentence. Why did you not ask me if you thought something was wrong?

I had been afraid of approving the wrong payment, so I had kept reading it instead. The man was still waiting by reception, unable to repair his cart.

Dominick Kaelath: I didn't think there was anything wrong. I wanted to be absolutely certain. And I was tired of asking you to check everything after I had already checked it myself.

Marlux Rathorn: Then tell me you are tired of me. Don't leave him waiting while you try to solve that. We can argue on the walk to his yard.

We went that afternoon. The cart stood on blocks, one wheel removed. I paid the approved bill and the lost hire shown on his notice. He checked the amount, then fetched the parts he could finally afford.

Dominick Kaelath: Do you think he believed me when I said I was sorry? He nodded, but I couldn't tell. I wanted to explain why I kept waiting, and you stopped me.

Marlux Rathorn: He needed to repair his cart. I stopped you because he was trying to get past us to his tools. Come on. We are still in his way.

I was angry with Marlux for saying it while I already felt ashamed. On the walk back, he held the gate so I could pass. I gave him a stiff thank you.

Dominick Kaelath: Do you still want supper together? I'm annoyed with you, but I don't want to sit alone with those papers again.

Marlux Rathorn: Yes. I would rather eat than continue this argument on the pavement. We can try an evening without the papers when we have both calmed down.

Supper at The Gilt Rooms — The Gilt Rooms · The fourth week, evening

A week later, we walked to The Gilt Rooms for supper. Marlux had recommended it.

Lamps lit the little table we were shown. Marlux took the chair opposite mine and set a folded paper beside his glass. I stared at it until he followed my eyes.

Dominick Kaelath: Please tell me that's the menu. I invited you because I wanted to spend time with you. If we start discussing wagon repairs, I might actually put my head on the table.

Marlux Rathorn: It is the address of a glove maker. I passed the shop this afternoon. You may recover from the shock of discovering I occasionally write things for myself.

He put it away. His cuffs had been pressed, and the repaired glove lay neatly against its partner. I liked seeing him dressed for supper with me. I fumbled with my glass while looking at him.

Dominick Kaelath: What would you be doing tonight if you weren't here? I hope I haven't interrupted something wonderful.

Marlux Rathorn: Cooking too much, because I dislike reducing recipes. Then mending a coat I have ignored for weeks. You may decide whether that sounds wonderful.

Dominick Kaelath: The cooking part sounds better than what I usually manage. I can heat things. I used to be quite good at forgetting I had heated them until they were cold again.

Marlux Rathorn: You used to have a kitchen full of people doing that for you. You speak sometimes as though you spent years alone. Was there a time you have never told me about?

I had been enjoying myself. Now he was asking about a life that wasn't mine. I picked up the menu again, though we had already ordered.

Dominick Kaelath: I've felt alone, even with people around. That's what I meant. Sorry. I didn't mean you were bad company.

Marlux Rathorn: I did not take it that way. I have eaten at a full table and gone home wishing I had stayed in my kitchen. You need not apologise for being poor company once in a while.

Dominick Kaelath: I was trying to be good company tonight. I had a plan involving asking about your interests, remembering the answers, and not dropping anything. So far I've only endangered the glass.

He laughed, briefly enough that I wished I could make him do it again. When our food arrived, he moved my glass away from my elbow without comment. I tried the first mouthful and immediately burned my tongue.

Marlux Rathorn: You could add waiting for your food to cool to that ambitious plan. It would give you a moment in which to listen to the answers you intend to remember.

Dominick Kaelath: Yes, thank you. I'm being extremely charming. Please continue enjoying it while I drink all the water on the table.

Later, his knee touched mine beneath the table. I didn't move my chair. When he shifted to reach his coat, I wondered whether the contact had been deliberate.

Dominick Kaelath: Would you want to do this again? Supper somewhere else, or here. I like talking to you when nobody is waiting outside for a decision. I don't know if that was obvious.

Marlux Rathorn: It was becoming obvious. Yes, I would. Ask me before you book a table next time, so I can choose an evening when I will not be worrying about tomorrow's work.

I walked back beside him, trying to look less pleased. At the townhouse door, he straightened my collar. I looked down at his hands until he finished.

Six Weeks of Practice — The Linden Rooms · The fifth week

In the fifth week, Marlux found the question about going back. I had left the notebook open beside our other papers. He turned it toward me and waited until I finished pretending to read something else.

Could I ever go back?

Marlux Rathorn: Back where? We can arrange a journey if you mean Kaelath. But you write about it here as though you do not even know which road to take.

Dominick Kaelath: I was trying to remember something. A place I miss. I don't know how to explain it in a way that won't sound... I don't know how to explain it.

Marlux Rathorn: You remember things you never mentioned before, and forget things we did together. I keep asking myself whether I missed an illness while I was standing beside you. You let me keep asking.

I wanted to take his hand. I was ashamed of wanting that while I kept refusing to answer him. If I confessed, he might never let me sit that close again.

Dominick Kaelath: I don't think you could have stopped it. Please don't blame yourself. I know I'm not helping.

Marlux Rathorn: Then tell me what caused it. You keep saying I couldn't have helped, but you won't explain what happened.

I could not answer. He closed the notebook and returned it. He stayed to finish our work, but when I asked whether he wanted tea afterward, he said he had something else to do.

Six Weeks of Practice — The Linden Rooms · The sixth week

Orion's request arrived in the sixth week. Marlux laid the letter on the long table, and I recognised the name before reading anything else. I had spent weeks expecting an army. It was one folded sheet.

Marlux Rathorn: He wants a private meeting about the river road closure. The official account he has says the route had been cleared. He asks who ordered it closed, and when. He says he will come alone.

Dominick Kaelath: Here? He wants to come here? Does he think we have the order? Do you know why he's asking now?

Marlux Rathorn: He says he has reason to question the account. I have a copy of our instructions. I would prefer to hear what he is disputing before deciding which answer he wants from us.

I remembered Orion's sword, his victories, the scenes I had replayed because I liked looking at him. I wanted to meet him. I wanted Marlux to send the letter back. I could not settle on either wish.

Dominick Kaelath: Then arrange it. Privately, like he asked. But you need to stay with me. I don't think I could get through this conversation alone.

Marlux Rathorn: I intend to stay. I will book the library for the morning. Our four guards will remain outside unless summoned or there is immediate danger. I want him able to ask a question without a weapon beside his chair.

Marlux gave the instructions to all four guards in my presence. They acknowledged them. I checked the meeting time twice and watched him send the reply. Afterward, I could not remember whether I had eaten lunch.

Six Weeks of Practice — The Linden Rooms · The agreed meeting morning

On the meeting morning, Marlux put his copy of the road instructions beside me. Three cups stood on the long table. I moved mine away from the papers and checked the door again.

Dominick Kaelath: If I say something strange, could you give me a moment before correcting it? I am trying to get through the first sentence without sounding as frightened as I feel.

Marlux Rathorn: I will give you a moment. I will also be sitting beside you. Look at me if you need help, and leave the answering to me when you do not know.

I nodded. Beyond the library, staff prepared reception for the morning's guests. The four guards had taken their places outside. I put both feet flat on the floor and waited for Orion to arrive.

The Man at the Door

The Man at the Door — The Linden Rooms · Meeting morning

I had rehearsed a greeting while Marlux checked the papers. Welcome to Peripeteia sounded ridiculous; Orion had probably spent more time here than I had. Thank you for coming sounded dangerously pleased.

Marlux Rathorn: You have agreed to a conversation. Ask him to repeat a question if necessary. Let me finish answering one before you promise anything.

Dominick Kaelath: That last part sounded rehearsed. Please say you haven't been counting my interruptions in the back of the ledger. Have I been that bad?

Marlux straightened the plain folder beside the tea tray. He was about to answer when the library door opened. The man who stepped through was alone, with rain darkening the shoulders of his cape.

Orion: Kaelath? I was told you would speak to me yourself. If that has changed, say so now. I haven't come to leave another letter with your adviser.

I knew the face immediately. Chestnut hair, blue eyes, a mouth I had watched tighten before a hundred battles. His plate was dented, and a strap beneath his right shoulder had been mended with a different colour of thread.

[Picture: Orion, wary, in his dented armour and worn cape]

Dominick Kaelath: Orion. You're here. Sorry, that was obvious. Earlier than I expected. Please come in. I'm Dominick. You already asked that. Yes. That's me.

Orion: Have we met? You said my name before I gave it. People usually recognise the armour. You were looking at my face.

Marlux Rathorn: Your letter announced you. I am Marlux Rathorn. We exchanged messages about the river road. We have copies of the papers you requested, although no originals.

I could have accepted Marlux's explanation. Instead I stared. Orion was taller than I had imagined, close enough for me to see stubble along a scar on his jaw.

Orion: Your messages said you would explain why the road was closed. Now you're telling me what you haven't brought. I'd like to hear from the man whose name is on the order.

Dominick Kaelath: I'll tell you what I can. There are things I don't remember. Things I don't understand yet. I realise that isn't a good opening.

Orion looked past me at the folder. I moved a hand towards it, grateful for something useful to do. His hand went to his sword. I stopped with my fingers above the table.

Marlux Rathorn: Leave that where it is. You asked for a private meeting. There are no soldiers behind the shelves. We can begin without you reaching for a weapon.

Orion: Every other answer came through somebody else. Every time I asked who was on that road, somebody told me it had been cleared. I'm asking him now.

Orion hooked his thumb under the mended shoulder strap twice. I recognised that movement. He drew his sword, forcing Marlux to halt, and stepped close enough that its point touched my chest.

Orion: Did you order it closed? Look at me when you answer. I didn't come here to watch you search his face for the answer you're supposed to give.

I had imagined meeting him over and over. In some versions I managed to be clever. In one particularly embarrassing version he liked me immediately. I had never imagined the small pressure of steel against my shirt.

Dominick Kaelath: I don't remember signing it. Please move the sword. I can hear you perfectly well without it touching me. I want to answer you.

Orion: You remember how to receive a visitor. You remember your name. Which part disappears when I ask about the people who couldn't get off that road?

Marlux Rathorn: You have no idea what he remembers. Neither do I. Take the blade away from him before asking another question.

Orion shifted towards Marlux without taking his eyes off me. The point rose beneath my chin. I lifted my head with it. The movement was small and humiliating; I had obeyed before deciding what to do.

Dominick Kaelath: You always check that strap twice before a fight. Please, Orion. I know what comes after that. I wanted us to speak.

Orion: Always? I checked it just now, but you said always. Have you watched me fight? Where? Look at me. How would you know that?

Dominick Kaelath: A prophecy. I saw you in a prophecy. Only pieces of it. I couldn't make sense of everything. I don't know how much was true.

I had called it a prophecy because I couldn't imagine explaining the game with a sword at my throat. Marlux's hand stopped halfway towards my sleeve.

Orion: Whose prophecy? Where did you hear it? I want their name. Give me the words they used, as closely as you can remember.

Dominick Kaelath: Nobody told me. I saw it myself. I don't have exact words. There were places, and people, and you were there.

Orion: Then give me a place. Something a man on the street couldn't tell you. What else do you know about me?

I remembered battles on a screen and conversations I could skip. Orion's replies had depended on what I selected. I didn't know how much of that had happened to the man holding the sword.

Dominick Kaelath: I shouldn't have called it a prophecy. I wanted an answer you would accept. I was afraid of what you would do without one.

Marlux Rathorn: Six weeks, Dominick. You have had six weeks in which to mention that you believed you had seen this man before. Why wait until now?

He used my name without the title. I had wanted that often enough. Now it made me look away from Orion for the first time since the sword touched me.

Dominick Kaelath: I kept thinking I would understand it better before I tried to explain. I didn't know how to tell you.

Orion: So I have memory loss, a prophecy you no longer believe in, and an adviser who looks as surprised as I am. Which answer did you plan to give me before I arrived?

Dominick Kaelath: I planned to ask you what happened. I know what a coward that makes me sound like with your sword under my chin. I still need to ask.

His face was inches from mine. I thought he was beautiful, and I was frightened he would hurt me. I couldn't look away.

Marlux Rathorn: Move it, Orion. You have heard him. If you came for a helpless man to frighten, you have found one. If you came for records, they are on the table.

Helpless. I hated that Marlux had said it. I hated more that he had stepped closer again, with empty hands, while I stood still. Orion turned his wrist and the point moved slightly away from my skin.

Orion: I haven't hurt him. I wanted him to answer me without hiding behind you. I thought that would be quicker than another hour of careful excuses.

Dominick Kaelath: I can barely think. I'm afraid to swallow in case my throat touches the blade. Please move it away.

Orion glanced at the place where the blade almost touched me. For a moment he said nothing. I could hear a cart outside, a wheel bumping over the same loose stone I had begun stepping around every morning.

Orion: All right. Don't move suddenly. I'll lower it. Rathorn, stay where I can see you. I don't want anyone reaching behind me while I'm doing this.

Marlux Rathorn: I am standing in front of you with both hands visible. Look at them if you need to. Then put the sword away and let him sit down.

Beyond Orion's shoulder I noticed the partly open door move. One of our guards stood in the gap, his eyes fixed on the raised blade. He looked towards me, then withdrew before I managed to speak.

Marlux Rathorn: Wait outside. We will call if we need you. Those were the arrangements, and they still stand. Dominick, stay beside the table. There is no need to follow him.

I hadn't intended to follow anyone. The door remained ajar after the guard disappeared. I watched the gap instead of saying that I wanted it closed.

Dominick Kaelath: Where is the rest of your army? You came through the door alone. I thought there would be someone with you. There always seemed to be someone with you.

Orion: There is no army outside. I came alone because I wanted an answer I could hear for myself. I'm beginning to think that was a poor decision.

Dominick Kaelath: Then stay long enough for us to try again. Without that against my throat. You can ask the same question. I can't promise a better answer just because I'm sitting down.

He lowered the sword. Cold air touched the damp place beneath my jaw. I kept my head raised for another second, stupidly, as though the point might still be there if I moved.

Marlux Rathorn: Your scabbard is empty. That would be a suitable place for it. Keeping it out will not make another document appear.

Orion: Here. On the table. I won't hold it while we talk. I won't put it somewhere I can't reach, either. That's as far as I'm willing to go.

He laid it along the near edge of the long table, the hilt beside his right hand. I watched his fingers release it. A strip of the blade remained between the folder and the chair he chose.

Dominick Kaelath: Sit. Please. That came out badly. I meant there are chairs, and I'd like to sit down before I fall over.

Orion: Is that an invitation? Because if it's an order, you should know I have a poor record of accepting them from people I've just met.

Dominick Kaelath: An invitation. Apparently this voice makes everything sound compulsory. I asked for another slice of bread last week and the plate arrived with an apology. I hadn't meant to sound angry.

Orion's mouth moved slightly before he looked down. It might have been amusement. I disliked how eagerly I noticed it. Marlux pulled out the chair beside mine, scraping its feet hard against the floor.

Marlux Rathorn: I shall remain here. If either of you wants an answer from me, ask me. I can speak for myself.

I sat, then shifted my chair enough to face both of them. Marlux sat beside me. Orion took the chair opposite, within reach of the sword. The folder lay between our hands, still unopened.

Orion: The river road. Your account says it was cleared during the retreat. Mine says nobody could pass after sunset. I want to know who was still there when you closed it.

I looked at Marlux. This time I waited for him to open the folder. I had wanted Orion to like me. I still did, absurdly. I also wanted to be far enough away that he could not touch me.

A Place at the Table

A Place at the Table — The Linden Rooms · The same meeting

Marlux took his copy from the folder. Orion supplied the other from inside his coat, folded small enough to fit his hand. He smoothed it with his left palm. His right stayed beside the sword.

Marlux Rathorn: This is the delegation's copy. It allows civilian passage under escort. I cannot tell you from this sheet which escorts were sent, whether they arrived, or who was allowed through.

Orion: Mine says no passage after sunset. It doesn't say soldiers, armed parties, or supply carts. It says no passage. That was the instruction passed to our command.

He pushed his sheet towards me. I recognised the river road from the letter that had frightened me into agreeing to this meeting.

Delegation copy Civilian passage under escort. Human command copy No passage after sunset.

Dominick Kaelath: Could they have been issued at different times? I mean, could one have replaced the other? I don't see an hour on either of these.

Marlux Rathorn: Yes. They might also be copies of different instructions. We need the originals, and something showing when each was received. I have neither in this folder.

Orion: And until then everyone gets to say they followed the right order. What about the people trying to leave? They had to do what the soldier at the roadblock told them.

Dominick Kaelath: Do you know what happened to them? I read that the road was cleared. I don't know what that meant to whoever wrote it. I should have asked before today.

Orion: I thought it meant empty. We were told the withdrawal was complete. I ordered an advance on that understanding. Now I have accounts of people still trying to get through.

I had heard his voice giving orders through headphones. The game had shown an arrow along a road and rewarded me for reaching its far end. I couldn't remember whether the road had even had a name.

Marlux Rathorn: You assumed a retreating army would take every civilian with it? People had homes along that road. They could not all pack up their kitchens and follow the nearest banner.

Orion: I didn't say they could. I said what I was told. I came here because it stopped making sense. You can let me finish before deciding what I meant.

Dominick Kaelath: Please. He is asking the same question we need answered. Marlux, you just said we don't know who got through. Can we stay with that long enough to find out?

Marlux Rathorn: I heard what he said. You are already defending him, and we still don't know what happened to the people on that road.

I glanced towards Orion and caught him watching Marlux. Neither of them looked comfortable. I had spoken as if five minutes of hearing him out made me capable of being fair to both.

Dominick Kaelath: You're right. I'm rushing you. I want this meeting to work. Tell me what I'm missing.

Marlux Rathorn: These copies don't tell us who was stopped or left behind. I want to hear from the people who used the road.

Orion: So do I. Some won't speak to my former command. Some won't speak to anyone carrying your seal. If I bring their words here, I need to know you won't start hunting for them.

Dominick Kaelath: I won't order anyone to pursue them. If they don't want you bringing names, don't bring names. We can ask what they are willing to tell us. We can begin there.

Marlux looked at me, then at the seal on the copy. I expected him to correct another promise. Instead he slid the tea tray further from the papers, making space beside the order.

Marlux Rathorn: I can ask through someone they choose. They may still refuse. Some have good reason to distrust us.

Orion: That's fair. There are people on my side who would call this meeting betrayal before reading a word of it. I haven't worked out what I'm going to tell them.

He looked down at the folded page and rubbed a corner with his thumb. I almost laughed. He sounded as unsure about explaining the meeting as I had been about starting it.

Dominick Kaelath: I prepared a greeting three times before you arrived. I didn't use any of them. If you discover a good explanation afterwards, I'd appreciate being allowed to borrow it.

Orion: Did any of them involve prophecy? I'd leave that part out. Unless the person you're speaking to has a much better reason to believe in it than I do.

I laughed once, more loudly than I intended. Marlux reached for the teapot. When the lid clicked against it I realised his hand was unsteady. He caught me looking and stopped pouring.

Marlux Rathorn: If we are serving refreshments, move your sword clear of the cups. I refuse to reach across it. I have already come closer to the edge than I wanted today.

Orion: I can move the cup. There. You don't have to pour for me. I can manage a teapot. It may be the only useful thing I do in this meeting.

He shifted his cup nearer the tray and poured left-handed. Tea splashed into the saucer. He stared at it. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

The same guard was still waiting beyond the partly open door, his weapon lowered. Orion returned his hand beside the unsheathed sword. The guard looked in, then turned away down the corridor.

Dominick Kaelath: There's a cloth beside the plate. And bread, if you're hungry. Nobody is expecting you to make a speech before eating. Marlux would have warned me about the extra cutlery.

Marlux Rathorn: The cutlery has caused enough trouble. Use your hands for the bread. Preferably once your hand is away from the sword.

Orion removed his hand from beside the sword. He tore a piece from the loaf, then stopped and pushed the plate towards Marlux first. Marlux took a small piece without thanking him.

Orion: I passed two people arguing about a delivery outside. Neither looked up when I went by. I expected this place to be more interested in who came to see you.

Dominick Kaelath: They're interested in whether we pay for what we order. That has been a more useful education than the greetings. I'm still embarrassed about how long it took me to notice.

Marlux Rathorn: Dominick is learning to pay the drivers before they have to come here asking for their money. There has been improvement.

He almost smiled at me when he said it. I wanted him to do it again. Orion glanced from him to me and put down his bread.

Orion: Were you always here with him? During the war, I mean. I'm trying to work out which questions either of you can answer. I don't want another account assembled afterwards.

Marlux Rathorn: I advised him. I was not present at every order or every roadblock. Sometimes I learned what had happened after everyone involved had had time to explain themselves.

Dominick Kaelath: He won't tell you he saw something he didn't. He's been very insistent about that with me. Even when I would have preferred an answer that made my morning easier.

Marlux Rathorn: Let me answer for myself, Dominick. You asked me to be honest; you might give me a chance to speak.

I had spoken for him again. He broke his bread and ate a piece. Across from us Orion's fingers rested clear of the hilt.

Orion: Why did you stop ruling? The letters called you an envoy. People still call you king. Which one am I supposed to believe when you promise something?

Dominick Kaelath: I can give instructions to our delegation. I can offer to carry a proposal. I can't decide what this city does, or tell you the war is over because we had tea.

I knew what I could promise as an envoy. I still didn't know why Kaelath had left his throne. Any answer I gave Orion about that would be a guess.

Dominick Kaelath: As for why I came here, I don't remember the decision. I've stayed because there are things I can do here. Smaller things than people expect. I am getting better at some of them.

Orion: You keep saying that plainly. I expected something more impressive. Something about a sacrifice nobody else could understand. I've heard enough of those from my own commanders.

Dominick Kaelath: I could try to sound impressive. Marlux would correct me before the end of the sentence. It's one of the services he provides whether I request it or not.

Marlux Rathorn: You have asked me to be honest. Occasionally you even enjoy it. Do not make me regret that rare improvement by advertising it to everyone who comes through the door.

Orion smiled. I looked at his mouth, then at the papers. Marlux turned his cup on its saucer. I wondered whether he had noticed me staring.

[Picture: Orion with a small, amused smile]

Orion: You keep looking at me as if you're waiting for me to do something. Is there more of that prophecy you aren't telling me? I'd rather hear it now.

Dominick Kaelath: I expected this meeting to be different. I keep catching myself waiting for you to behave the way I imagined. I'll try to listen.

Orion: Keep your hands off the sword and take your time. I don't need you to admire me. I need to know whether someone will help me reach the people who used that road.

I found the line about escorts on Marlux's copy and turned the page so all three of us could read it.

Dominick Kaelath: Could we ask about a short pause in fighting along that route? Long enough for people who want to leave to do so, and for somebody they trust to hear what happened?

Marlux Rathorn: We can ask. We need to know who holds each stretch now and whether they would honour a pause in the fighting.

Orion: I can contact the people I know. I won't tell them you have agreed to more than you have. But I want to see the wording before a letter goes anywhere.

Dominick Kaelath: So do I. And Marlux gets to finish reading it before I sign. Apparently I need that written down. We can put it beside the warning about making invitations sound like commands.

Orion started to answer. Heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor, close together, followed by the scrape of metal against the doorframe. Marlux put his bread down and turned. The door began to open.

The Interrupted Meeting

The Interrupted Meeting — The Linden Rooms · Moments later

Four guards entered. I recognised the first as the man I had seen through the door. He looked at Orion, at the sword on the table, then at me. His own blade was already drawn.

Marlux Rathorn: Wait. I told you to wait outside. The meeting is continuing. No one has summoned you. Lower your weapons and let me explain what you saw.

Marlux got up and put himself in the first guard's way. The man pushed past him with his free arm. Marlux stumbled into the cabinet beside the door, striking it hard with his left forearm.

A loose strip of metal trim caught his sleeve as he fell. He made a short, startled sound. I half rose to reach him. The first guard was already swinging at Orion across the end of the table.

Orion snatched up the sword. The guard's first blow struck its flat above the hilt, driving Orion's hand back against the table. The teapot toppled. Hot tea ran across the wood towards the open folder.

Orion: Back away. I put it down. Let him tell you what happened. Back away from the table.

The guard struck again. Orion pushed his chair backwards and rose behind it. The second guard came around the other end of the table. I stood beside my chair with no idea which direction was safe.

Dominick Kaelath: Stop. We were only talking. Marlux, tell them. The meeting was going all right. We hadn't finished.

The scrape of the chair covered my voice. I looked towards Marlux, still expecting him to stand up and make the guards listen.

Marlux was on the floor, his right hand pressed over his left sleeve. He tried to stand, slipped, and caught the cabinet handle. I couldn't hear what he said.

The first guard kicked Orion's chair sideways and lunged past it. Orion turned, close enough that their shoulders struck. His sword moved once. The guard dropped his weapon and fell against the overturned chair.

I saw the copper fastening at his throat before I looked at his face. I had watched him polish it outside the townhouse. He had held the courtyard gate while I struggled through it with a stack of books.

Orion pulled away from him. The guard tried to lift himself on one elbow, failed, and became still. I waited for him to try again. The second guard seized Orion's cape and dragged him off balance.

Orion: Let go of the cape. Put your sword down. You can still stop. You can hear me.

The man drove his sword forward. Orion twisted against the pull and struck him. For a moment they remained upright together. Then the guard fell, taking the torn corner of Orion's cape with him.

I had seen Orion make that turn before. My fingers moved against the edge of the table as if I were holding a controller. I felt sick.

The second guard lay on his side. His boots moved once against the floorboards. Orion stepped over his leg to face the third man, who had reached the open space between the table and the courtyard door.

Dominick Kaelath: Please stop. Nobody asked you to come in. I can answer him. I can still answer whatever he wants to know.

I repeated myself, still too quietly. The third guard slashed at Orion as he turned. His blade caught the exposed part of Orion's right upper arm beneath the edge of the plate.

Orion flinched and drew that arm close. Blood marked his sleeve. I hadn't expected to see him hurt.

His answering cut caught the guard in the thigh. The man went down on one knee and then onto his side, clutching his leg. Orion raised the sword again as the fourth guard advanced from the doorway.

I wanted Orion to look at me. I had hoped he would notice me over tea, and I still hadn't stopped hoping. I was ashamed of it.

He looked at the fourth man's weapon instead. Blood marked his cheek. He had looked sure of himself in the game. Here I couldn't tell what he would do next.

Marlux Rathorn: Dominick. Don't come this way. There's no room. I can't get up. Please stay away from the door.

Marlux had lost a glove, and his bare fingers kept slipping on the cabinet handle. He couldn't get up, and I had asked him to handle the guards.

I remembered him moving my cup away from the unpaid bills and telling me off. I wished we were still arguing about money.

The wounded guard tried to lift his sword. His grip failed. The fourth man's blade remained level with Orion's chest. There were two bodies between them, and neither man was looking down.

I took my hand off the table. I could see the chair I had to go around, the strip of floor beside it, and the fourth guard's face beyond Orion's shoulder.

Dominick Kaelath: Stop! Lower your weapons. That is my order. Look at me. Stop moving towards him. I am ordering you to stop.

I moved out from beside the table, around my chair, until the fourth guard could see me. My knee caught the chair leg. I nearly fell and had to grab its back before taking another step.

The guard looked from me to Orion. His blade wavered. He had entered with three other men. Two were motionless and the third was on the floor.

Dominick Kaelath: Drop it. Put it on the floor. You came here for me. I am telling you to stop. You have heard me.

Orion: Keep him back. Keep him away from me. Don't tell me to lower this while he's still coming. I won't wait for him to reach me.

I nearly flinched away when Orion turned to answer. He was close enough to reach me with the sword.

Dominick Kaelath: I'm asking you too. Please lower the sword, Orion. Give him a chance to put his down.

Marlux Rathorn: You heard Dominick. Put your weapon down. You ignored my instructions. Listen to him now. You can still obey this one.

The fourth guard opened his hand. His sword hit the floor near the doorway. He stepped back with both hands raised. Orion kept his blade up for another second, then lowered the point.

Both men stayed still. I kept expecting one of them to move again. Marlux groaned beside the cabinet.

Dominick Kaelath: Marlux? I'm coming. Don't try to stand up again. Please keep looking at me so I know you heard.

I went past the end of the table, keeping clear of Orion and the fallen guards. Marlux held out his right hand. When I took it, he gripped hard enough to hurt.

Marlux Rathorn: My arm. I caught it on the cabinet. Don't pull me up by that side. Just let me sit here.

I crouched beside him. His torn left sleeve was wet beneath his hand. A clean napkin lay beside the spare cups on the cabinet. I gave it to him.

He pressed it against the cut. I took over when he needed his hand free. His eyes stayed on his arm. I waited for him to look up.

Dominick Kaelath: I couldn't move. I asked you to fix it. You were on the floor and I still asked you.

Marlux Rathorn: I heard. I was rather occupied. Don't make me answer that yet. Hold the cloth while I move my sleeve. There. Keep it there.

A member of the venue staff stood beyond the open door, one hand pressed to his mouth. He looked at the people on the floor, then ran along the corridor towards the street entrance.

Orion: The man by the courtyard is alive. His leg needs pressure. You, by the door. Help him. Leave your weapon where it is. I won't come near you.

The fourth guard stared at Orion before kneeling beside the wounded man. He used a folded cloth from the tea tray, adjusting it against the wound as clumsily as I had adjusted mine.

Orion put his sword on the floor beside the table and stepped away from it. His right sleeve had a narrow red line beneath the armour. He looked at the first guard, then at the second, without moving closer.

Dominick Kaelath: The others. Can we help them? Marlux, I don't know how to tell. They haven't moved. I keep waiting for them to move again. Please look.

Marlux Rathorn: I can see them. I don't know what to do for them. Someone must bring help. There should already be someone fetching it. I heard feet in the corridor.

Orion crouched beside each of the two fallen men, keeping his hands clear of their weapons. He looked up at me after the second. He shook his head. I kept pressing the napkin against Marlux's arm.

Orion: I'm sorry. They're dead. I can't change that. I know I can't. I can stay here until the people you've sent for arrive. I won't pick up the sword.

I wanted to ask why he had kept striking. I wanted him to tell me he'd had no choice. I hadn't followed the fight well enough to know whether that was true.

Dominick Kaelath: I invited you here. I thought if we could sit down, if you could meet us, it would change something. I didn't think past getting you into the room.

Orion: I came for answers. They came at me. I told them to stop. You saw that. You were right there. Don't look at me as if I came here wanting this.

I flinched. He rubbed his left hand across his mouth. I waited for him to go on.

Marlux Rathorn: You put a sword against his throat. They saw it. I told them to wait and they ignored me. I saw that too. Do not expect me to forget any part of this.

Rapid footsteps reached the corridor. The staff member returned with responders carrying medical bags. One stopped at the doorway and took in the weapons on the floor before beckoning the others through.

A responder knelt beside Marlux and held out a clean pad. I moved my hand. Another went straight to the surviving wounded guard. The two bodies remained where they had fallen.

Dominick Kaelath: Marlux. Orion. There's something I have to tell both of you. I've been trying to find a way to say it for weeks. When they let us talk, I'll tell you.

What I Can Tell You

What I Can Tell You — The Linden Rooms · After the interrupted meeting

The attendant put us in the small dining room beside the library. I watched her draw the curtain across the connecting doorway. The gap at the bottom showed boots moving past.

Marlux sat with his left sleeve rolled up. A fresh dressing covered the cut. I had offered to hold the basin and nearly tipped it over him. He had taken it away.

Marlux Rathorn: If you intend to tell us something, Dominick, please begin. I have very little patience left, and I would rather spend it hearing you than trying to guess.

Orion stood beside the window, his right shoulder strap loosened while the attendant bound his upper arm. Most of his armour remained fastened. I kept checking his empty hands.

Orion: They have my sword. You can stop looking for it. Unless there's another reason you're watching me, in which case say that too. I'm tired of being stared at.

Dominick Kaelath: I know. I wanted to talk to you so much. Now, when I look at you, I see you killing those men.

He looked down. I tried to think of something kinder to say. The attendant fastened the bandage, collected her things and left through the corridor door.

Dominick Kaelath: When I woke up here six weeks ago, I wasn't recovering from an illness. At least, I don't think I was. I was somewhere I had never been, in somebody else's body.

Marlux pulled his sleeve down over the dressing. It caught at the edge. He swore under his breath, tugged it free and looked directly at me. I almost took back what I had just told them.

Dominick Kaelath: My name is Dominick. That part is true. I came from a place called Earth. I had a job, a flat, a computer. I went to sleep there and woke up in the library.

Marlux Rathorn: You told me you could not remember. I asked you repeatedly. I brought you papers, familiar objects, food you had liked. You watched me doing that, and you knew it would accomplish nothing?

Dominick Kaelath: I didn't know what else to do. You knew that face. I didn't know you. I thought if you found out I wasn't him, you might have me locked up. Or killed.

Marlux Rathorn: Then you learned something about me. We had six weeks. You argued with me, borrowed my notes, complained about your cuffs. At what point was I supposed to stop being someone who might kill you?

Dominick Kaelath: I kept thinking I would tell you after the next thing was fixed. After the cart-hire payments, after supper. I knew you would be angry. I wanted a little longer before that happened.

Marlux pushed his chair back. I half rose with him, and he lifted his uninjured hand. He stood beside the empty hearth. I sat back down.

Orion: Earth. A different body. Fine. Tell us something that makes those words mean anything. What did you know about us before you got here? You knew my name before Marlux introduced me.

Dominick Kaelath: There was a game. On my computer. Pictures, voices, choices somebody had written. You were the person I played as, mostly. I saw places through your eyes. Marlux was in it. Kaelath too.

Orion: You played as me. Doing what? Walking around? Fighting people? What exactly did you do when you sat down with this game and decided you wanted to be me for an evening?

Dominick Kaelath: Mostly fighting. Following orders. Getting through places guarded by demons. There were conversations, but I could skip them. I did skip some. I thought I knew the story well enough without hearing everything.

Orion: Did you enjoy it? Don't tell me how different it looked. I'm asking whether you enjoyed it. You were frightened of me today, but before that you looked pleased that I was here.

Dominick Kaelath: Yes. I enjoyed it. I liked you. I thought you were brave, and I wanted you to win. I didn't think about people going home after the parts I saw. I didn't know there were people.

He moved away from the window and stopped at the far end of the table. I caught myself hoping he would sit nearer me. The thought was so badly timed I felt sick with it.

Orion: And Marlux? What was he for? Another fight to get past? Someone you could make say the right thing if you chose the right answer? Is that what you've been doing here?

Dominick Kaelath: He opposed you. That's most of what I knew. It was wrong, or incomplete. I don't know which. I haven't been choosing answers from a list. I've been making bad guesses, like you saw today.

I looked at Marlux's sleeve. A small spot had darkened the dressing beneath the linen. He followed my glance, sat down again and pressed a folded cloth over it without asking me to help.

Dominick Kaelath: I stopped thinking of you that way. Quite early. You were getting someone their money back, and worrying about food, and being annoyed with me. I wanted you to like me. That became another reason to hide.

Marlux Rathorn: Which man did you want me to like? Because you let me address you as someone I have known for years. You let me explain his own habits to you as though you had forgotten them.

Dominick Kaelath: Me. I wanted you to like me. I knew there was somebody else involved and I kept putting off thinking about him too. I don't know how to say that without making it worse.

Marlux Rathorn: Then make it worse. Where is he? If you are telling the truth, where is the man who was here before you? Does he have your flat and your job? Is he dead?

Dominick Kaelath: I don't know. I wish I had anything better. I haven't heard him, or found memories that feel like his. That doesn't prove he isn't here. I don't know what happened to either of us.

Marlux Rathorn: I spent six weeks thinking he had changed. Do you understand that? Some mornings I was relieved. Other mornings I was frightened he would wake up furious about everything we had allowed you to do.

Orion: Can you return? You said you went to sleep. Has sleeping here done anything? Have you tried anything else, or have you been waiting for somebody to explain the next part to you?

Dominick Kaelath: I sleep here and wake here. I've looked for anything familiar. I can't call anyone. I can't even show you a photograph. I want to find out whether I can go home. I'm frightened of what finding out might involve.

Orion: You told me you had foreseen me. Was any of that true? Did you make it up to get me to put the sword down?

Dominick Kaelath: I was frightened, and I was trying to make you stop. I called it a prophecy because I thought you might believe that. There was no prophecy. I don't know what happens next.

Orion: I thought you might actually know something. That's why I sat down to listen. You let me believe that.

Dominick Kaelath: I'm sorry I lied. You put a sword at my throat, Orion. I thought you were going to kill me.

He opened his mouth, then rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. I was suddenly frightened that I had ruined the chance of being believed. I kept myself in the chair.

Orion: I thought you were Kaelath. I thought threatening you would get me an answer. You were frightened, and I kept the sword there.

Marlux looked from him to me. His face had gone very pale beneath its usual ash colouring. He reached for the water jug, missed the handle once and made an irritated noise.

Dominick Kaelath: May I pour that? That's all I'm asking. You don't need to do everything with that arm.

He moved his glass towards me. I filled it too high, set the jug down, and carried the glass to him with both hands. He drank carefully, watching the rim.

Marlux Rathorn: I knew you were frightened. And I watched you struggle with things he could do easily. I don't know whether to believe the rest yet.

Orion: I haven't decided. If you're lying, you've chosen a story that makes you sound both helpless and extraordinarily dishonest. I don't know whether that makes it more convincing. It certainly makes it worse to listen to.

I laughed before I could stop myself. Orion stared. I covered my mouth, felt foolish and lowered my hand again.

Dominick Kaelath: Sorry. It wasn't funny. Or it was, for about half a second. I don't know what my face is doing. Please keep talking. I would rather you said that than stopped talking to me.

Marlux Rathorn: I shall want some quiet after this. Please don't follow me with another explanation.

Dominick Kaelath: All right. I won't follow. Before we go—when they ask about today, I'll tell them I froze. You don't have to leave that out for me.

Orion: I will tell them I drew first, before the guards came. And that I put the sword on the table. Both surviving guards should be heard. Their accounts may not sound like ours.

Marlux Rathorn: We will each describe what we saw. The road papers are still in the library. When they let us see them again, we can establish what is actually on them before we invent anything else.

Dominick Kaelath: I'll do that. I can't prove Earth by talking harder. I can read the papers with you and answer the questions about today. If I don't remember something, I'll say so this time.

Orion pulled out a chair. Marlux kept his water beside his good hand. I waited while he drank, then asked where the blank paper was. He pointed to the drawer nearest me.

The Accounts We Kept

The Accounts We Kept — The Linden Rooms · Later that afternoon

By late afternoon, I had written the same short sentence three times. I had asked them to stop, too quietly. I kept changing the words to make myself sound less frightened.

A venue attendant let us into the library long enough to identify the papers. I saw the cabinet Marlux had been shoved against. I walked around the mark on the floor and hated myself for looking away.

We took only the two road copies, with permission, into the dining room. They had been kept together in their plain folder. Someone had moved our cold tea onto a tray beside the door.

Marlux Rathorn: You can sit down, Dominick. Standing behind my chair will not improve the handwriting. And stop reaching for the folder whenever I move it. I still have a hand that works.

Marlux Rathorn: Read your account again. Remove the sentence about failing everyone in the room. It tells them very little about where you stood or what happened. You can feel dreadful without writing an essay about it.

I crossed it out. Orion sat opposite us with his right shoulder strap still loose. The dressing showed beneath his armour. He kept that elbow near his side. I found I could look at his face again, briefly.

Orion: Put in where I left the sword. It was close enough to reach from my chair. I wanted it there while we talked.

Marlux read my crossed-out line, then set the page down. The cuff of his coat was folded back to keep it away from the dressing. A repair ran along the seam in tiny grey stitches.

Marlux Rathorn: My wife used to complain about these cuffs. She thought they caught on everything because I insisted on wearing clothes designed for sitting still while I never sat still.

I had never heard him mention her so plainly. I moved my cup away from the papers and kept my hands around it. Orion stopped writing. Marlux looked at him, then down at the seam.

Marlux Rathorn: She tried to mend one once. She was terrible at it. Great ugly stitches, and a knot large enough to catch my finger. I complained. She told me to learn to do it myself, then.

Marlux Rathorn: I did learn. She found that very funny. I would be sitting with a needle and she would ask whether she ought to bring a cushion for my dignified new occupation. It annoyed me every time.

Dominick Kaelath: Did you ever leave her a bad repair to complain about? On purpose, I mean. I can imagine you making one stitch wrong and then pretending you had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

His mouth moved as though he might smile. Then he pressed the heel of his good hand against his eyes. I sat very still, wishing I had kept my attempt at a joke to myself.

Marlux Rathorn: Once. She cut the whole seam open and handed it back. I had to start again. I was so irritated with her. I remember being irritated, and I wish I could remember exactly what she said.

He lowered his hand. Orion pushed the box of clean cloths a little closer. Marlux took one without looking at him. He folded it twice before wiping his face.

Marlux Rathorn: Human soldiers killed her while I was away. I arrived afterwards. These papers concern another attack; you will not find her name here. I usually keep this out of our meetings.

Orion: I didn't know. About your wife. I knew there were attacks on settlements. I heard them described as positions we had taken. I knew people lived there. I didn't ask enough about those people.

Marlux Rathorn: Do not make it sound as though you had simply missed a page. You knew what soldiers could do. You were one. I am tired of hearing how little anyone knew after they had finished winning.

Orion: I knew what mine could do. I stopped some of it. I failed to stop some. I can tell you about those. Your wife—I don't know. I can't tell you about her.

Marlux turned his chair slightly away. I started to speak, then stopped. Both men looked at me.

Dominick Kaelath: I'm sorry about your wife. I don't know what else to say. We can leave the papers for a while, if you'd rather.

Marlux Rathorn: We can look at them. I wanted you to understand why I cannot share your enthusiasm for him. I saw how you looked at him over tea. You seem to know a very different man.

Dominick Kaelath: I thought I knew him. I wanted to meet him. Part of me still wants to know him, which feels awful to say in front of you now. I don't know what to do with that.

Marlux Rathorn: Don't ask me to make you feel better about it. I saw you over tea. So did he. We have other things to do this afternoon.

Orion looked down at the papers. I moved the copies apart so all three of us could read.

Orion: This is the copy I received. No passage on the river road after sunset. The account I was given said the route had already been cleared during the retreat. I ordered the advance believing that account.

Marlux Rathorn: And ours permits civilian passage under escort. We have already established that they differ. What we have not established is when either instruction reached the road, or what the people there actually did with it.

Dominick Kaelath: Could both have been given? At different times, or to different people? I'm asking because I keep wanting one of these to be the wrong paper. Then we'd know which one to throw away.

Orion: They could have. It could be a copying mistake, or an order changed too late. Someone could have ignored it. Those are guesses. I don't know which happened.

Marlux Rathorn: Or civilians were still there and your people advanced anyway. You keep listing mistakes. Someone may have known exactly who was on that road.

Orion: Yes. That is possible. So is your escort never arriving. So is Kaelath abandoning people he had promised to protect. I came here to ask what he ordered because my own papers don't answer it.

I had almost said that Kaelath would not have done that. I had no idea what he would have done. Marlux watched me as I opened my mouth and shut it again.

Marlux Rathorn: He was capable of keeping a promise. He was also capable of deciding that something else mattered more. I advised him. Sometimes he listened. Sometimes he listened and gave the same order anyway.

Dominick Kaelath: The game made him frightening without giving me much reason to wonder what he did all day. Then I met you, and I started making him better in my head. I suppose that was convenient too.

Orion shifted as though to stand, then looked at the corridor door. He had been told to wait here. He sat back down. I watched Marlux draw the papers towards him again.

The attendant returned with a note about the wounded guard. He was alive and receiving care. I read it twice, then passed it to Marlux. The two other guards had died in the library.

Dominick Kaelath: I don't even know whether they liked this assignment. Standing outside a room while we talked. I saw them every day and I barely asked them anything. I kept thinking I had time to learn everyone.

Marlux Rathorn: They had people who knew them. Those people will have to be told. I can help with that when I am allowed. You must not go to them tonight because you want them to see how sorry you are.

Dominick Kaelath: I hadn't planned to. I might have done it anyway, just to have something to do. I don't know how to help them.

Orion: I will give them my account. I won't call the deaths unavoidable. I fought them. I don't know what would have happened if I'd acted differently.

Dominick Kaelath: I'll ask for the older delegation records. The actual records, if we can find them. I won't describe the game as evidence. If I remember something from it, I'll tell you where it came from.

Marlux Rathorn: I will ask someone outside the delegation to examine both copies and help trace them. You will give them yours, Orion. I will give them ours. Neither of us gets to choose only friendly readers.

Orion: Agreed. I'll request the record they used to brief me before the advance. They may refuse, but I'll ask.

I wrote those requests on a fresh sheet while they corrected me.

Dominick Kaelath: Thank you for telling me about your wife. I wish I'd had something better to say. I liked the story about the cuff. I can imagine you getting very annoyed about having to mend it again.

Marlux nodded once. Outside the window, a worker lit the courtyard lamps. I had lost most of the afternoon without noticing it pass. The dressing on Marlux's arm had begun to slip at one edge.

Dominick Kaelath: Would you stay here tonight, Orion? If they're willing to let you use a room. I mean because we'll need to talk tomorrow. I'm not trying to make that sound like anything else.

Orion: They've asked me to remain available. A room is better than this chair. I would like a door I can close, though. If you think of another explanation for Earth, write it down until morning.

Marlux made a brief, tired sound that might have been a laugh. We arranged to meet after breakfast and left the papers together. Before he went upstairs, I fetched the attendant to check his arm.

Breakfast, If You Want It

Breakfast, If You Want It — The Linden Rooms · The following morning

The next morning, I woke in the same body. Silver hair had caught under my shoulder; the black marks still crossed my wrists. For a few seconds I had expected my own cramped room and familiar hands.

There was a folded account of the previous day on my bedside table. I had sent my signed statement downstairs before trying to sleep. I read the copy again and left it as it was.

The library was closed while the damage was recorded. The venue had asked us to keep to the dining room and courtyard. There would be repairs to pay for. I put that bill with the delegation expenses.

Marlux was at the dining-room table when I came down. His charcoal coat hung open. He was trying to fasten his left cuff using one hand, with very little success.

Dominick Kaelath: Would you like help? I can probably manage a button. That's a modest claim, I know, but I think we should start the morning with something I have a reasonable chance of doing properly.

Marlux Rathorn: It is a cuff fastening. The distinction will become obvious when you fail to find a button. You may help. Please sit down first; I do not need you leaning over me like an anxious crane.

I sat beside him. He rested his forearm on the table, the fresh dressing clear of my fingers. I caught the fastening on the second attempt. He thanked me and withdrew his arm.

Dominick Kaelath: Would you have breakfast with me? I know you're already at the table. I mean, will you stay a while?

Marlux Rathorn: I am hungry. I am also angry with you. I expect to manage both for the duration of breakfast. You do not need to keep checking which one is winning whenever I reach for the bread.

I laughed. He took a piece of bread without looking at me. I looked down at my plate until I could stop smiling.

Dominick Kaelath: Will you still be my adviser? For now, I mean. When I need help with the delegation, can I still ask you?

Marlux Rathorn: Yes. For now. I have work here, and abandoning it would affect other people. I also want to find out what happened to him. I cannot do that very well by refusing to see you.

It was a reasonable answer. I had wanted one that mentioned wanting to see me. I spread butter over the same corner of bread until Marlux reached across and turned the plate a little.

Marlux Rathorn: I did not say that was the only reason. You make very large decisions about what I mean in the time it takes me to finish a sentence. Allow me to finish one occasionally.

Dominick Kaelath: Sorry. I wanted you to say you didn't regret any of it. The suppers, the walks. Then I thought that was a horrible thing to want, so I decided you'd said the opposite. Efficient, really.

Marlux Rathorn: I regret not pressing you when your answers made no sense. The suppers were good. I enjoyed your company.

I stopped moving the knife. He took it from me, set it beside the plate and offered me the bread basket. I chose a fresh piece because I had made a mess of the first.

Dominick Kaelath: Could we have supper again? After you've had some time. Somewhere you choose. I'll try to answer what you actually ask, and you won't have to spend the evening teaching me what the cutlery is for.

Marlux Rathorn: I cannot promise the last part. You are remarkably inventive with cutlery. We can have supper again. We shall choose a day when my arm hurts less and you have had more than three hours of sleep.

He had guessed too generously about the sleep. I left it alone. An attendant brought fresh water and a message about the wounded guard. His condition was steady; he would continue receiving care that day.

Marlux read the message, folded it and slipped it beneath the folder of accounts. Then he asked the attendant, with a written note, to let him know when a visit would be appropriate. I didn't add my name.

Marlux Rathorn: I have letters to write upstairs. I will come back for coffee. Eat something before it arrives; you have managed to turn two pieces of bread into a task without consuming either of them.

I ate while he collected his papers. At the door he had to adjust the bundle around his left arm. I stood, then sat down again when he shook his head. He took his time and managed it.

Orion was in the courtyard when I went to find him. He sat forward on the bench in his dented armour, his right shoulder strap still loose. He pushed his hair back with damp fingers.

Dominick Kaelath: Breakfast is ready. I was sent to eat some and thought I'd see if you wanted to join me. Or would you rather be alone?

Orion: I'm trying to work out how long I slept. I woke whenever somebody used the stairs. Then I woke because nobody was using them. Sitting outside seemed less irritating than doing it again.

I sat on the other end of the bench. There was space for another person between us. A worker carried a watering can past the doorway, glanced at us and continued towards the linden tree.

Orion: I gave them my statement. They kept the sword. I know where I'm expected to be today, and I will be there. You don't have to work that into a conversation about the weather.

Dominick Kaelath: I wasn't going to. I might have asked if you were leaving. That's different in my head, although I can hear how it would sound. I don't know how to start talking to you this morning.

Orion: You could ask something you don't think you know already. Yesterday you looked at me as though you were remembering somebody else. I kept wondering what you expected me to do. I still am.

Dominick Kaelath: What did you want to do after the war? Before coming here with the papers, I mean. You can tell me that's too much for breakfast. I couldn't think of a smaller question fast enough.

Orion: I thought I would sleep. That's the honest answer. Sleep, eat when I liked, go somewhere nobody needed me to decide anything. Then I kept finding things I thought I ought to put right first.

Dominick Kaelath: That sounds familiar. The finding something else part. I used to stay late at work so I could finish a thing before going home. There was always another thing, and mostly I just went home tired.

Orion: What work? You told us a lot about the game. You said almost nothing about your job, or the rest of your life there.

Dominick Kaelath: An office. Messages I had to answer, things other people needed checked. Some days I was good at it. Some days I counted the hours. I miss coming home and knowing I can leave the rest until tomorrow.

Orion: Did anyone know you were unhappy there? Would they notice if you stopped coming home?

Dominick Kaelath: Yes. People would notice. I don't know what they're being told. I keep imagining someone finding my body, and then I imagine him walking around in it. I can't decide which frightens me more.

Orion: I don't know what to say to that. I don't know whether I believe all of it yet. But you sounded like that yesterday when you thought I was going to kill you. I believe you're frightened.

Dominick Kaelath: That helps. I keep hoping you'll like me, too. I liked a version of you I could switch off. We only met yesterday.

Orion: I don't know what to do with being admired by someone who wasn't there. I was pleased, for a moment. Yesterday, before the guards. I liked how you looked at me. Then I used the sword again.

He watched his open hand, then closed it. I remembered the speed of the fight, and how much I'd wanted him to stay over tea.

Dominick Kaelath: I'm still afraid of you. I wanted to come out here anyway. I don't know whether that's sensible.

Orion: You can sit farther away. Or leave. I'll be disappointed, probably. I won't enjoy being told you're frightened of me every morning either. But I said I would talk. I'm still here.

Dominick Kaelath: I don't intend to announce it every morning. I'd rather find something else to talk about. Breakfast, possibly. Do you want coffee? I have no idea how you take it, for once.

Orion: Strong. No sweetener. A cup large enough that I don't have to ask for another immediately. If your next revelation is that you already knew that, I would prefer you kept it to yourself.

I stood, and he followed after checking his sleeve. We walked inside without touching. I wanted to take his hand. I wasn't sure he would want that. At the sideboard, I picked up the coffee pot.

Marlux returned as I filled Orion's cup. He set his papers beside his plate and reached for the bread. Steam warmed my knuckles. I stopped pouring just before coffee spilled into the saucer.

I put the coffee pot down and took out my notebook. The page Marlux had found was still folded at the corner. I opened it between our plates and left my hand beside it.

Dominick Kaelath: I left a message for the healer before breakfast. The one you brought here that first morning. She's coming back. I'd like you to be here.

Marlux Rathorn: Would you like me to explain?

Dominick Kaelath: No. Just stay, please. I can tell her.

Marlux Rathorn: I'll stay. And about supper—I have a place in mind. When you've finished with her, we can choose an evening.

Orion had stopped drinking. His left hand rested beside his cup. I set my hand next to his and looked at him.

Dominick Kaelath: Could I hold your hand for a moment? I wanted to ask outside. I couldn't work out whether it would be too much.

Orion: Yes. This one. The other arm is still sore.

He turned his left palm upwards. I took it, carefully. His fingers closed around mine, and his thumb moved once over my knuckles.

Orion: I'll be in the courtyard. Come and find me afterwards, if you'd like. I'd like to know how it goes.

Marlux Rathorn: Stay for lunch, Orion. There are things I haven't finished asking you.

He glanced at Marlux, then nodded. A knock came from the corridor. I looked towards the door and tightened my hand around Orion's.

Orion loosened his fingers when I moved. I let go slowly. He took his cup out to the courtyard. Marlux drew his chair closer while I picked up the notebook and went to the door.

The healer waited outside with her bag. I stepped back to let her in, then handed her the notebook, open at the page Marlux and I had read together.